Not wanting DH's family on New Year's Eve

[FedUpWithHisFamily]

Hi, everyone. Last night had mighty row with DH, as he wants "his family" on New Year's Eve at ours, as we are going to my sister's for Christmas. DH's family- his 4 nephews, age ranging from 23 to 27. Two of the older ones will bring girlfriends, and a 5-months-old baby. We have 2 and 5-year-olds. My DH will be working all week leading to NY, also, till 6 o'clock that evening and on 1st of Jan. Somehow, my DH decided that his family will come for dinner on NY eve! AIBU to not want that? My DH is youngest brother of three, he is 39 himself, but views his nephews as his responsibility, as parents of the boys all live abroad. It's been few years already that they all coming to ours. I, of course, am expected to lay great feast for all of them! This year I will have no help whatsoever from my DH, as he is working. Apart fom big row, I have no idea how to deal with the situation. DH is adamant he wants "his family".

Have you got enough money for something like Waitrose Entertaining? Or M&S? You can order massive meals from there. I'd do that if you can't agree on a takeaway. But if you are going for a takeaway, I'd order it in advance.

Is he generally an abusive twat, or just at Christmas?

M&S Gastropub ready meals? Pies etc, served with ready made mash, pre-prepared veg etc, just bung in the oven and an M&S pudding for after? Probably cheaper than takeaway and more like a proper meal.

Again, totally in agreement with expat.

As for this Also, I kind of feel bad serving them pizzas, when they are so far from home. Leave him to it and let HIM feel bad, for Christ's sake!

I had the cheek to give them shop-bought houmus with breadsticks for starters (maincourse was roast with all the trimmings)- my DH was not happy

I am fascinated by people like this. What did he say? "Fedup, this is a poor show. I expected better of you. I thought I gave orders for a home made meal"? Did he have an insight into the fact that he was treating you like a domestic servant even though you are his wife? Does he have a sense of humour at all? (I often find that people who think/say/do shit like this are quite humourless because they have no sense of irony or sense of the ridiculous).

If he doesn't want take away then tell him to pre order some M & S buffet selections or Waitrose buffet selections.

'We are going to have another argument tonight as he will not be happy with the takeaway idea. Just remembered couple years ago, when my baby was 6 months old, 2 nephews came for NY diner, and I had the cheek to give them shop-bought houmus with breadsticks for starters (maincourse was roast with all the trimmings)- my DH was not happy. Even that I had transferred dips into nice bowls, decorated them with some herbs, etc. sad'

He sounds like a prize asshole. You're his wife not a personal chef. I'd put my foot down. He can prepare food in advance after work if his standards are that high. Why is it even necessary to go to such lengths for his nephews? It's nice that he wants to step in as the family home if their parents are away but why do you have to stand on show for them? I doubt they care if the humous was shop bought.

Isn't great that his standards are so high when he isn't the one doing the work. Tell him if he doesn't want a takeaway or M&S / Waitrose bung in the oven option he can take a day off and cook the meal himself whilst also looking after the DC as you will be going out and leaving him to it.

Suggest to him you wait till new year's day instead so he can do it himself.

Totally understand he wants to see his family, but when dh's visit us we host together. Same when mine visit.

Bet you do all the clean up, too, whilst he socialises.