'I can't even cook cheese on toast'

[NaughtyLittlePassport]

Prepared to be told IABU.
Having coffee with a relatively new friend, I said something about making Christmas dinner, she then said that she 'couldn't even make cheese on toast'. I was visibly gobsmacked and as it turns out she really can't cook anything!
She was really offended that I was so surprised, and told me she'd always been too busy to learn. I've offered to help her with some basics but she's ignored my message and cancelled our DS's playing together
To not drip feed I was really shocked, going 'what not even. ....' and questioning what her kids eat probably a bit too much.
But really, wouldn't you be shocked if a 40 year old couldn't cook anything at all?

Navy - because some people can afford to pay for nice food and would rather do that than make themselves a jacket potato?

You seriously can't understand why someone would rather go to a restaurant than make a jacket potato with cheese? Are you kidding me!?

I don't understand how people can't cook either. If they don't want to that's their choice, but to not have a clue is strange. Almost everyone with cooking facilities has access to books and the internet nowadays.

Type in google ' how to make scrambled egg', ' how to make carrot soup', 'how to bake potatoe', and you will get loads of information including step by step YouTube tutorials, and very easy guidance.

To not know how to boil some pasta or rice is baffaling, it actually tells you on the side of packet how to cook, how long, etc. And you can just poke and taste to see if definatly done

Wolve - yes I like restaurants as much as anyone, we go often. But I wouldn't want to go 3 times a day, 7 days a week forever.

Well that's you art. Lots of people do.

I don't understand how people can't cook either. If they don't want to that's their choice, but to not have a clue is strange.

If they don't want to cook and can live perfectly fine without having to, why should they have to learn? Why the shock? The end result is the same - they're not cooking. Who cares?

It just really doesn't sit well with me, it's an over reliance on other people to feed your kid well / properly.

The basics (for example Omelette, Egg muffins with cheese, veg and ham, Chicken drumsticks with veg, pasta and sauce, etc). are really not that difficult, and by 40 I think someone who has a little person relying on them to decide and provide nutritional meals for them should have some of the basics nailed.

I don't think you were rude

All adults should be able to cook something an ex couldn't and thought I should do it for him I love cooking but seriously if someone can't do the basics to look after themselves they should learn I wasnt there to look after him. unless of course there are other reasons why they can't

3 times a day, 7 days a week? Do you honestly have a cooked meal 3 times a day, 7 days a week?

Actually right now, yes. I'm having a kitchen extension built. Not usually though.

I know plenty of people who do though

Oh sorry ginger, I thought you meant 3 meals in restaurants. Not hot meals generally. No one does that, surely?

Humans value cooking for a reason.

gingerivy

We have 21 out of 21 cooked at the moment. Summer it's more salad based, but usually has some bit cooked and cooled (like leftover roast chicken).

Wolver I'm just saying that people are getting all worked up about "oh, they can't go to a restaurant 3 times a day, 7 days a week" but seriously - how many people eat a hot meal for every single meal? There are lots that don't!

People went on and on a while ago on a thread about childhood obesity issues and were saying "oh but one hot meal a day is enough - they shouldn't have a hot meal in school and another for dinner - it's not healthy! It's too much!"

I thought you meant 3 meals a day in restaurants also

But yes in winter especially we usually hAve three hot meals a day. Not particularly complicated. Today everyone had porridge with fruit (breakfast), lentil and bacon soup (lunch), butternut risotto (dinner). So yes all hot, all relatively simple to make and in one pot

We have 21 out of 21 cooked at the moment. Summer it's more salad based, but usually has some bit cooked and cooled (like leftover roast chicken).

You don't have to have 21 cooked meals per week to have a balanced diet.

Things like roast chicken can be purchased in the supermarket. They're already cooked. A parent could easily purchase that when it's hot at the supermarket and that's one meal that doesn't have to be cooked by the parent.

Of course you can eat a good meal if it's not cooked, or is a takeaway or a ready meal, but really, it's just so sad not to be able to cook. So much enjoyment comes from cooking for people and sharing food.

We aim to eat one hot meal a day in the winter, but we don't always do so. In the summer, it's often less frequently as nobody in our house wants to eat hot food when the weather is hot. We all still have a balanced diet. And I could still provide a balanced diet for my children if I didn't cook.

Tbf, if this woman could make cheese on toast, posters would now be moaning about the saturated fat content or lack of butternut squash or something.

Personally I took it that cooking mum does evening meal and non cooking mum does breakfast and lunch - hence toast, sandwich, fruit, leftovers etc. As she was talking about the meals she is responsible for.

Handbag Yes, it's very likely. But people are horrified nonetheless because what if they separated or her DP died?? She'd be in serious trouble, apparently because she can't cook. Such nonsense, honestly.

My FIL can't cook at all. Now that he is alone (his wife died a few years ago), we arrange for someone to cook for him. She leaves his meals in the fridge and he heats them up. That is the extent of his skills in the kitchen.

It is entirely possible to go through life without cooking and still maintain a healthy diet. It may be more expensive than the alternative but it's certainly doable. In fact, if the "what have you eaten today" threads are anything to go by, many MNers seem to subsist on a steady diet of junk less than optimal meals. Cooking for oneself and one's family doesn't automatically go hand in hand with producing a decent balanced diet.

What a load of judgemental bollocks on this thread.

I can't cook, have never been interested and never learnt. Was in catered halls throughout most of my uni years (compulsory at my college) and then moved in with DH as soon as I left uni. Thankfully, he's a foodie (I'm most definitely not) and he enjoys cooking. So he's the cook in our house. I've never made a roast (although I am vegetarian), never made many traditional meals. I can just about boil pasta and sauce or cook jacket potatoes if necessary, but that's it.

But, my children do not live off ready meals, we never buy them, we don't often eat out or get takeaways and they do eat healthy nutritious meals. DH cooks, and mostly cooks from scratch.

I'm the main wage earner, and I work longer hours than DH so it suits us that DH does most of the cooking. He's in charge of food most days. The children have hot dinners at school, and after school I will do them soup, jacket potatoes, beans and cheese on toast or salad. None of which I'd say really counts as cooking. I can also hear stuff up in the microwave. Whenever DH makes a lasagne etc, he'd always make extra to chill / freeze down for me to reheat. But I'm only in charge of proving meals after school one day a week (and they've already had a hot lunch) so I get by.

My children have very good diets, they love to munch on carrots for a snack, eat a wide range of fruit and veg and both like a good salad. I really can't see why I'm letting my children down just because the person providing them with their healthy home cooked meals has a penis.

What sexist claptrap!

Yeah but what would she do if she learned to cook but then her hands were chopped off in a tragic accident? ginger I don't know if we can think through all the possible scenarios that might happen to this culinary-challenged lady that all end up with her dc having rickets :)

Handbag Exactly. And she might learn to cook with her feet, and then break a toe, and where would she be?

Headwand fish slice?

A jacket potato with cheese
Beans on toast
Ham and cheese omelet
Boil some pasta and throw in some torn mozzarella and tomatoes

Barring the tomatoes, there is literally no fruit/veg in any of these suggestions, and they're pretty high in fat and processed shite. Not really the meal choices for someone who is sneering at someone unable to provide decent meals for her kids.