'I can't even cook cheese on toast'

[NaughtyLittlePassport]

Prepared to be told IABU.
Having coffee with a relatively new friend, I said something about making Christmas dinner, she then said that she 'couldn't even make cheese on toast'. I was visibly gobsmacked and as it turns out she really can't cook anything!
She was really offended that I was so surprised, and told me she'd always been too busy to learn. I've offered to help her with some basics but she's ignored my message and cancelled our DS's playing together
To not drip feed I was really shocked, going 'what not even. ....' and questioning what her kids eat probably a bit too much.
But really, wouldn't you be shocked if a 40 year old couldn't cook anything at all?

You're missing the point. You said if she cannot cook a simple meal but is able to provide one - no problem. McDonald's was one example of a meal provided that isn't cooked. Takeaway Pizza is another. Crap ready meal is another.

That was not my example. I didn't give McDonald's, takeaway pizza, or a "crap ready meal" as an example. I did state "meal at restaurant" as an example. I most certainly did not state McDonald's.

Or are you thinking of that all these non cooking mothers are foraging for herbs to toss into a salad or something?

Is there something wrong with a salad?

Cooking for your children is a basic necessity.

No, providing a balanced diet for your children is a basic necessity. One does not necessarily need to cook to be able to provide a balanced diet.

I suspect that what she really means is that she CBA.

Any reasonably intelligent person who can also read, can follow simple recipes.
Delia did a very good book a while ago that started with absolute basics, like boiling an egg.
With my bitch hat on, I think I'd be inclined to look sympathetic and say that's such a shame, I take it you can't read? Because it'd be so easy for you to learn otherwise.

Navy FFS no. You don't have to cook for your child. You can pay or persuade someone else too, or you can eat out every day. Both perfectly viable options

WTF is wrong with some people here - it's not 1956.

Guess what, men cook.

Assuming that just because She doesn't cook means the kids are starved is out of the Ark. way to go sisters!

limitedperiodonly

"But that's what some people like to do and because they're middle class, no one complains about it, do they?"

I do. This is our next nutritional health crisis (salt and sugar in these flippin' things) in my mind. That and they are quite devoid of nutrients in general. In my circle of friends it's usually (not always), the same families that give their kids money to go and buy a chocolate croissant on the way to school every morning to have as breakfast as well. So the kid has - croissant, school lunch, snack on the way home from school and cook meal for dinner. To me, this is hugely lacking on the nutrition front.

The home economics I did was very good. We learned how to make cheese sauces, prepare simple mince meals, make crumble, lots of very practical skills. As a student I lived a lot on various vegetables in a cheese sauce.

In my circle of friends it's usually (not always), the same families that give their kids money to go and buy a chocolate croissant on the way to school every morning to have as breakfast as well. So the kid has - croissant, school lunch, snack on the way home from school and cook meal for dinner. To me, this is hugely lacking on the nutrition front.

What?!?! You mean they can cook, but the child isn't getting a balanced diet? But they know how to cook! Isn't that just EVERYTHING?!?!

GingerIvy

"No, providing a balanced diet for your children is a basic necessity. One does not necessarily need to cook to be able to provide a balanced diet."

What about meat? What about complex carbohydrates? What about when it's freezing cold outside and your child needs a warm meal?

GingerIvy I never said they could cook now did, did I?

And I think all adults should be able to cook basic meals for themselves. Even my widowed elderly FIL who never cooked before, can now cook basic meals.

I wouldn't disagree with you hoops

GingerIvy By "cook meal" I meant the cook ready made meals- not that they are cooking a meal in the evening.

How about I come round and teach you how to be tactful?

brasty Exactly. Is just as important for the elderly as it is for children.

Hoops You said " So the kid has - croissant, school lunch, snack on the way home from school and cook meal for dinner. To me, this is hugely lacking on the nutrition front." If you did not mean that and it was a typo, then obviously it was misunderstood.

GingerIvy - sorry I meant the cook meal as in 'cook ready meal', not a cooked meal that's cooked by a parent. I did re-read and can see it was confusing - sorry! They are getting a cooked meal at school (I am not really sure how good cooked school meals are, or even if every school provides an actual cooked meal?).

I don't understand how anyone can't cook the basics if I'm honest.

I can't get my head around this. Why would you do that rather than learning the basics?

Navy some people boast about never cooking except for heating up ready meals.

What about meat? What about complex carbohydrates? What about when it's freezing cold outside and your child needs a warm meal?

Who says the parents aren't providing meat or complex carbohydrates? Who says they're not getting a warm meal?

Maybe they eat hot lunch in school every day. Maybe they eat hot meals at a restaurant. Maybe they eat hot meals once a week at grandma or grandpa's house. Maybe the sitter that comes over on Friday night when the parents go out for the evening cooks them a hot meal. Maybe they do some babysitting for a neighbour one evening a week, and the neighbour makes them a casserole once a week in payment (I actually know someone who had this arrangement with their neighbour for years).

I know

That was to Navy

Why do people express this level of faux shock? Lots of people can cook but choose not to. I rarely use my microwave (about once every few months) and the same goes for my oven/hob.

I don't live on takeaways or ready meals. I don't see how that is so shocking.

Disclaimer - I don't have children so I'm not depriving anyone of vital nutrition