I have expectations!

[Iamacleaner]

I am a cleaner, a very good one.
I have a good client base and have only ever been recommended for jobs. Never advertised.
Occasionally been head hunted by sil/mil!

I have rules, just reasonable I think?!
AIBU?

1. If you want me to use my own cleaning tools, let me use your drive.

2. If a member of your household has been ill (novo virus) a little warning would be nice before I deal with the toilets.

3. If you want me to change bedding, obviously fine, can you please strip the bed yourself when you've done whatever it is you do that leaves the sheets covered in that. Also if you don't want vibrators wiped over with a zoflora cloth, don't leave them out.

4. Pervy members of you family will get a slap if they keep asking about uniforms and polishing knobs.

5. I will clean your house top to bottom to my standard (OCD), please don't ask me to not spend as long in one room so I can do something else you've thought of that's not my job! Pay a gardener.

Phew! That was quite cathartic!
I have name changed but been on here a while.

You sound amazing op. Wish I could afford you

I like a polished knob though.

That is a good list! I'd have thought sheet changing included stripping the bed though. I was about to ask me new cleaner to start doing this. Is it really a major no no?

If I stop over a friends or hotel I always strip the bed and pillows.

Seems more than fair, do people really not allow you to park on their drives? Snobs

at zofloraed vibrators!

I have always assumed all of that for my cleaner, so glad I'm on the right track - thanks OP

We always strip the beds for the cleaner. It's a two minute job. I don't want to inflict my (albeit invisible) dirt and night-stink on the cleaner any more than she wants it inflicted on her. 'Tis only polite.

Yanbu

Would you be my cleaner please? I never 'do that' so my sheets aren't covered in anything

Iwasjustaboutosaythat Stripping beds is fine and included but if you have certain quirks that involve a (zoflora wiped!) vibrator, strip it yourself! I am by no means a prude but seriously!

You sound great! If I could afford a cleaner I would love you . I think it's so odd people wouldn't automatically strip the bed and also hide their sex toys!

I think I love you OP

What's your hourly rate, and do you cover Nottingham?!!

Blushes

I'm in London.

Although I'm not working today (poorly doggy, sore paw).

I can answer questions if anyone needs tips??

So if I asked a cleaner to clean my kitchen, would that include the floor or would I need to specify that? and would it include the cooker?

Just so I know what to ask for / expect so we don't get crossed wires?

I have questions, what is the best product for getting rid of limescale?
Best thing to clean hob after pasta boil over? I ended up scraping what looked like pure gluten off with a paint scraper.
Does anything really clean grout? Especially once mould has started (despite ventilating and doing all the stuff you're supposed to do)?
Could go on for ever!

I would assume floor and a good wipe over of cooker but if you want oven done, ask the cleaner. Sone do, some don't!

I always do a walk through with client on interview. Talk about what needs doing weekly: bathrooms, kitchen, hoovering, etc. Fortnightly: fridge, cupboards, bedding etc Monthly: oven, under stairs, wardrobes etc.

Then there should be no confusion

YANBU OP.

May I ask, how would you clean dried gloss paint from a stainless steel sink?

I've tried white spirit, bicarb of soda, Flash with Bleach, to no avail. Thanks

Wow, wish I could hire you. And that's disgusting that people leave their vibrators out etc. Your rules sound completely reasonable to me.

Bluesrunthegame:

Limescale, vinegar. I put some in sandwich bags and tie over taps, leave it for as long as I can and scrub! In kettles pour neat and let almost boil, pour away you'll be amazed.

Job messes: product called Astonish cream cleaner, think I bought it in Pound shop!

Mould and grout: I treat them the same. Thick bleach. Toothbrush onto grout and leave for as long as possible and rinse. It will never go pure white again though. Paintbrush for wall/ceiling mould. Gloves, mask and glasses (I don't but I'm hardcore) and get your inner Michaelangelo on. I never rinse. Open the windows though

Hob messes obviously!!

Please move up to. Nottingham immediately. I need you cleaning my house. My cleaner is lovely but rubbish!

Ahickie

Have you tried washing up liquid or sugar soap? I think gloss paint is oil based, so you may need something to de oil it!

Are you really supposed to clean the fridge and cupboards once a fortnight? I'm letting the side down. I make up for it with my towels, face cloths and insistence that clothes can only be worn once