Kids were onstage PLUCKING instruments! Yes, I was judgey. AIBU?

[TheClaws]

..this was an open-air classical concert we were attending. All ages, kind of Christmassy. Kids were dancing away close to the stage while their parents sat back watching - but some got too close. There were infants sitting on the stage, and as this was a full orchestra, there wasn't much room. And yes, some children even had the nerve to attempt to play with the instruments both mid-recital and during short breaks. At no time did a parent intervene or take their child away. WHYY?

ROFL so did I TC!

In fact that would e a more amusing thread.

Or could it be "FUCKING instruments" getting the way?

Or at least could we hear from the interfered-with double bass?

Blimey. I would have had something to say if they had been plucking my instrument. No management would stop musicians from telling the kids to stop in that circumstance.

Holy Cow!
I knew she was good, but I didn't know she was that good.
At 18 months you say?
Truly a prodigy.

We took the DC to a concert which DB was playing in - they did Young Persons Guide to the Orchestra, and at one point invited children to come and sit in amongst the orchestra - which they did, but they sat, where they were told to, and didn't move. The orchestra also stayed in their places during the interval and invited children to come and look at/ touch the instruments. DD was entirely fascinated with the harp God help me if she decides to take that up

All fine, and of course the orchestra knew what they were letting themselves in for. The situation that the OP describes would drive me nuts. DM and I recently spent half the time at an open air choir performance at school shushing the little horrors who were being allowed to riot to the extent that you couldn't hear the choir .

Many parents are fucking useless and think we should find their kids disruptive behaviour adorable. I definitely do not.

hahaha, I too opened the thread fully expecting the op to be complaining that a kids concert/nativity was crap because the kids couldnt play THEIR instruments properly and were plucking instead thought we'd be into piano grade level oneupmanship by now!

There is no second act of Das Rheingold.

My children touch my cello on pain of death. And it isn't that valuable, relatively speaking.

Did you not feel the need to stage an intervention about this extraordinary behaviour OP, what with your daughter being one of the performers?

Op this would have been straight to classics if you had only intervened.

I don't allow my adult, sensible friends to touch my violin without my supervision. It's a cheap learner one, I am a student player.

You just don't touch other people's instruments without asking. It's not about the cost, or how delicate the instrument is. It's just what you do.

YANBU at all - so many parents do not seem to bother to discipline their children and teach them manners and common courtesy

Oh dear this thread is quite amusing but also informative. DD2 has her first ever concert with a very well known seaside town band next Tuesday evening. I'm thinking I should err on the side of caution and advise them to place all of the trombone section at the front so that on every downward slide they can violently, but legitimately, eject and deter any pfb toddlers from 'interfering' with any of the vulnerable stringed instruments?

I'm slightly torn re ida s post however, and the link to the South Korean lady. This could bring back the very straight laced and stoic British response to this kind of problem. I could well imagine myself (asthmatic but vair vair respectful) dying in the aisles of asphyxiation rather than spoil anyone's enjoyment of a Christmas concert with a random misplaced cough.

Was it a child-friendly concert? We did one recently (amateur) and the kids could dance, walk around, get right under the conductor. One did slip into the strings but didn't fiddle (ha).

If it was a normal concert then children should not be on the stage. Affects concentration, as a player you are concerned someone could get hurt, and instruments can be broken so easily. Even dodging a child and chipping your reed with a tooth, or losing a string will be a pain - requiring you to stop and change, or play badly/not at all. Even amateur instruments cost thousands each, once you get to professional quality you are talking big big money.

Isitjust if you do that the strings will be in uproar - no one would hear them with a line of incredibly noisy brass in front.

Oh, and at special child-friendly concerts (which are great btw), when children get to play the instruments after, people with top quality instruments usually bring along cheaper student versions for the kids to mess with, because instruments are so valuable - and precious. It's not just money, it's a soul too.

Well said Pollaidh
Instruments are more than just instruments to a musician. They are valuable, precious and the musician's livelihood, at the very least.
Can you imagine any other profession who'd be expected to grit their teeth and let random small children touch and try to play with the equipment they use for their work without permission and completely inappropriately? Let's be honest, the children and hopefully their parents would get their arse handed to them on a plate in any other work situation

They must be from a he other side of the tracks

Obviously this shouldn't have happened, but I'm far more outraged by the Duke of Westminster! I hope you sent him a bill JoanGrey!

I'm sure the instrumentalists would have been capable of saying "please don't" if there had been an issue.

No, the instrumentalists are there to play, not to childmind for someone who thinks it's cute to encourage her child run around a place they shouldn't be in the first place.

Performers are concentrating on the music. It is an intense, high pressure job - even in a children's concert. It is not our place to say "please don't". Punkerockgirl's comment about touching tools of the trade in any other profession had it spot on. My instrument - the tool of my trade - is worth as much as a deposit on a decent flat; it's worth a lot more than my (new) car. Would you think it was ok for a child to grab your car keys and have a child-friendly go at driving?

Why is it the performers job to tell kids not to touch?
How about the parents do it?

@eatingmywords no he didn't pay. His aide said they would be in touch - they weren't and my insurance wouldn't pay as I hadn't dropped it! I had to do a lot of paper rounds to pay for the repair!

limitedperiodonly If I had staged an intervention by running up to the stage through a crowd of hundreds, that would have certainly been funny, and my DD would now not be talking to me regardless of wayward toddlers!

And to repeat - this wasn't specifically a child-friendly event. It just happened to be staged outside, near Christmas, with carols. The orchestra was a professional one with professional guest artists.