Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids were onstage PLUCKING instruments! Yes, I was judgey. AIBU?

140 replies

TheClaws · 06/12/2016 00:17

..this was an open-air classical concert we were attending. All ages, kind of Christmassy. Kids were dancing away close to the stage while their parents sat back watching - but some got too close. There were infants sitting on the stage, and as this was a full orchestra, there wasn't much room. And yes, some children even had the nerve to attempt to play with the instruments both mid-recital and during short breaks. At no time did a parent intervene or take their child away. WHYY? Confused

OP posts:
worldsworstchildren · 07/12/2016 08:41

YANBU.

I was at a festival in the summer, while we were listening to some authors speak there were four or five terrors climbing up into the stage. They even used the leads from the audio equipment to hoist themselves up Confused

They were running across the stage behind the speaker and generally being a pita. Not one mother did anything to stop them.

It was incredibly distracting for the audience so I think the author must have been quietly seething.

There was an ineffectual security guard at the side of the stage trying to coax them off to no avail. Personally I would have stuck one under each arm and delivered them back to their parents so everyone knew whose special snowflake they were!

Phew! I'd forgotten how annoyed I was at the time.

worldsworstchildren · 07/12/2016 08:54

DD went into someone else's tent when camping too. We were mortified but luckily they saw the funny side
*
Snuggly* I would think they were being polite rather than seeing the funny side.

We camped for four days in the summer. Every day, about four times a day, the two under-5s from next tent came into our tent.

There was lots of "oh do come away and leave the poor ladies alone" but no actual physical removing them from the tent or stopping them in the first place. We weren't seeing funny side of it at all it was just bloody annoying.

We didn't have any children with us left ours at home so had no desire to entertain someone else's children.

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 07/12/2016 08:57

Dammit

Thought it would be the scarves

CheshireChat · 07/12/2016 08:57

SnugglySnerd we avoid anything still and quiet as well as there's no reasoning with DS. That's how it should be, kids will be curious so either manage their expectations or don't go.

elQuintoConyo · 07/12/2016 09:08

I'd have poked them with my trombone Grin

DramaQueenofHighCs · 07/12/2016 09:18

That is just awful! I play in a wind band that does regular concerts for young children and it is always set out right from the start that the children are not allowed past a certain point in the auditorium or up on the stage without permission from the conductor. The children are told to sit down before the start of each piece (although we don't mind them dancing along if they want to, it's just that we've found sitting them down between numbers helps keep that dancing a bit calmer) and also parents are reminded to keep their children away from the instruments in the interval. (Although I always take mine backstage with me just in case as I know from my own DS that it only takes a few seconds for them to knock over a clarinet if they get too close - luckily the clarinet was fine, but I was mortified and offered to pay for any damage if there was any and insisted on at least paying for a new reed as it had broken!)
At our concerts the children get given percussion instruments for one number and also are allowed to sing along to certain songs too. Most of us are also happy to let the children have a go on our instruments after the concert has finished. They really are great fun, but I know that our conductor wouldn't stand for any behaviour like in the OP! Parents really need to control their kids, there is a big difference between a child managing to climb onto a stage during a moment of parental inattention (that happens to us all at times) but being quickly taken back to their seat/off the stage and a child left to their own devices.

NataliaOsipova · 07/12/2016 09:22

Lots of children, Christmassy, starwands handed out? This sounds like a performance aimed at young children? If so, then I would say that sort of behaviour would be expected tbh - probably expected by the performers as well.

I don't agree with this! Even if it had been specifically aimed at young children (rather than a family type thing, which implies all ages welcome), I still don't think trees any excuse for this type of behaviour. Aimed at small children? There'll be sections where children are invited to join in/sing along. If a child waves a wand and has a little dance in the aisle? No problem. A bit of running commentary from the child in the seat behind? Again - no problem - it's not the second act of Das Rheingold at the Royal Opera House. But running onto the stage and grabbing the instruments? Absolutely not. I simply do not understand some people's mentality....

NataliaOsipova · 07/12/2016 09:23

trees any excuse*????

Damned autocorrect! "there's any excuse...." No trees involved!

Floggingmolly · 07/12/2016 10:02

luckily they saw the funny side. This is what's at the heart of this ridiculous behaviour; the notion that other people find your brat's behaviour funny, cute, or endearing. It's not, it's a pain in the arse, and so are the bloody parents who encourage it.

CaraAspen · 07/12/2016 10:05

I really think parents have a responsibility to engage their brains before they blithely allow their children to be this annoying. Grrrr

Original poster
TheClaws · 07/12/2016 10:48

Is that what it is then - kids will be curious - so maybe some parents think that stopping that curiosity at any point is damaging to poor Snowflake? That it is important for their development to explore their environment? Xmas Grin

That said, I did hear one child got a few nudges from an unapologetic cellist's foot.

OP posts:
80schild · 07/12/2016 14:03

My instruments are worth a lot of money - children are not allowed to touch unless they have been given permission and are supervised by me (as in, I can concentrate on them). It seriously is not the job of musicians at a concert to tell children not to touch our instruments but the parents. Musicians need a break during recitals and so might not be constantly supervising their instruments.

To put in in perspective for those that think it is just fine and that it is expected, I have one instrument which I paid nearly £3k for and another £2k. If anything goes wrong then it is money down the drain for me, in all respects.

PinkSwimGoggles · 07/12/2016 14:46

3k is pretty cheap for a professional instrument imo.

Floggingmolly · 07/12/2016 14:54

What's your (rather snide) point, Pink?

gillybeanz · 07/12/2016 14:58

I always used to announce that the insurance wouldn't cover the lack of parental supervision if their dc were hurt, they soon started to parent then.

If it became really dangerous as in wet/ drinks on the stage I'd stop the entertainment and say that a few parents were spoiling it for others.

Some parents are dicks, let their dc run a riot and then complain if they are hurt.

PinkSwimGoggles · 07/12/2016 14:58

my point is, instruments are expensive and often delicate and parents should supervise theiy children better to avoid a big bill.

SnugglySnerd · 07/12/2016 14:58

Just to be clear, we were really embarrassed about DD going into someone's tent and she was removed instantly, I certainly wouldn't encourage it or laugh it off.

gillybeanz · 07/12/2016 15:00

I must say though that some insurance companies don't cover instruments left on the stage unsupervised, some won't insure for instruments left in a car.
All the professional musicians I have seen or know take their instruments off the stage as they finish and the only time they are on stage is if they are being played.

joangray38 · 07/12/2016 15:17

Not just children who are a danger to instruments! Many years ago I was playing in a band performance for the Duke of Westminster. He picked up my corner without asking , fiddled with it then dropped it, dinting the bell . Made a half hearted joke about ice cream cornets and wandered off - never offered to pay to repair the damage . Pratt

JunosRevenge · 07/12/2016 17:40

Pink is right about the cost of professional instruments Gilly. (Particularly stringed instruments). A decent 'cello for a pro orchestral player is 5 figures - and that doesn't even include the bow (which can be the same ££ again).

That's why musicians get very twitchy when small children are milling about onstage, seemingly unsupervised.

Floey · 07/12/2016 17:44

Really pickachew? Are you serious? Of course it was the parents' job to control their children. Jeez, would hate to meet your brats, for they must be pretty bratty with your attitude

exaltedwombat · 07/12/2016 17:44

This may have been a 'relaxed' concert, where children are encouraged to move around and get hands-on. Anyway, the musicians were perfectly capable of dealing with the situation. They aren't under strict military discipline, like a guardsman being taunted by tourists. No need to get all offended on their behalf.

TCsMummy · 07/12/2016 17:53

ROFL - thought this was going to be a super-judgey "why would you put them in the Christmas Concert if they can't even use a bow yet" thread!
But really, what is wrong with people? As I see it, taking your child to different types of cultural events is as much about teaching them how to behave as a spectator as it is them hearing the music / watching the sport / seeing the paintings. And just because it's outside doesn't mean you can behave as you would in a playground. And if your kid has a tantrum or meltdown if they are told not to do something then you remove them to a distance that keeps them safe and avoids pissing off all the other people who paid for tickets. Exceptions being something like a Noisy Kids concert where expectations are set of talking during pieces and going up on stage when invited.

SmilingButClueless · 07/12/2016 17:58

I've played in any number of family-friendly concerts. I have never experienced children being permitted to wander amongst the orchestra / touch the instruments without asking (thankfully).

Yes, of course I'd be capable of telling them to bugger off. But their accompanying adults should not allow them to be there in the first place. I'm sure they'd be the first to blame me if my bow caught a small child in the eye (that's an actual risk, btw, as I'd not be expecting a child to be there so wouldn't be watching for that).

shrunkenhead · 07/12/2016 17:59

Only on Mumsnet...