Kids were onstage PLUCKING instruments! Yes, I was judgey. AIBU?

[TheClaws]

..this was an open-air classical concert we were attending. All ages, kind of Christmassy. Kids were dancing away close to the stage while their parents sat back watching - but some got too close. There were infants sitting on the stage, and as this was a full orchestra, there wasn't much room. And yes, some children even had the nerve to attempt to play with the instruments both mid-recital and during short breaks. At no time did a parent intervene or take their child away. WHYY?

Well, I would imagine most people wouldn't need to be told, but clearly one or two might. It is the one or two that appear to be the problem.

Wow
Just to lower the tone, some families don't even know how to behave at a pantomime. We went with the IL's. Their dc were put right in the middle of a row. First the light sabour/ flashing wand being swung round so violently people sat in the rows in front and behind had to avoid being hit. Then one needs the toilet mid performance, half the row stands up, whole annoyance then the return. 15 min later another child needs a wee, half the row gets up, mother and dc leave, row sits down. Seconds later first child and mother gets up 'I know you don't really need a wee, you're just copying 2ed child', half the row gets up, off they go to the loo. Then the interval, 1st child attacks all 3 dc in the queue for the ice-cream, stranger helps, 1st child's parent blames stranger for hurting other DC and buys ice-cream. So now we don't get invited to the pantomime, MIL just takes the other GC.

Dr. Fucking Mojo...

I read "what is wrong with these parents?" as "what is wrong with these peasants?", which is a bit offensive but actually seems to fit this rather well. People letting their offspring PLUCK an orchestra's instruments is gobsmacking. Will they be letting little Petunia up on stage to wobble about with the Royal ballet as well?

To think there may actually now need to be someone hired to smack grubby little hands away, or turn little sods around and march them back into the audience.

what is wrong with these parents

Yes.

Fuck's sake.

Kids dancing to and engaging with classical music – great. Bring it on. But touching highly tuned and fucking expensive instruments; er, no.

I wouldn't blame any musician who 'accidentally' uncrossed their legs and a foot connected with a small child's arse.

I'm judging those parents right now just reading this. Obviously lacking intelligence and social skills themselves.

My SIL uses an expression that drives me up the wall whenever she uses it, usually about something her kids have done: "She wandered off and went into everyone else's tents! IT WAS HYSTERICAL! Everyone thought she was so cute." Even though she was not even three and they were camping at a tourist park where they didn't know anyone else.

I'm guessing these parents were much on the same page - "Ajax actually hopped up there and had a go himself! IT WAS HYSTERICAL!" Umm, no. It was bloody wrong.

It's not just at concerts. At the church I go to, we have a modern band with electrical instruments. One service, during the sermon (when the band were seated with the congregation, not with their instruments) a toddler crawled up the aisle to the front, picked up a cup of water and poured it on the carpet. You might think that a parent would intervene at that point. But no. When she got to the jug of water by the instruments, one of the band sprinted down the aisle to halt her trail of destruction. At least she got there in time....

It's not just at concerts. At the church I go to, we have a modern band with electrical instruments. One service, during the sermon (when the band were seated with the congregation, not with their instruments) a toddler crawled up the aisle to the front, picked up a cup of water and poured it on the carpet. You might think that a parent would intervene at that point. But no. When she got to the jug of water by the instruments, one of the band sprinted down the aisle to halt her trail of destruction. At least she got there in time....

Ooh, that reminds me of the "wild and crunchy" AIBU about a toddler in church a few months ago.

Nell I've just read the 'wild and crunchy' thread, and I have a fair bit of sympathy for the poster there - during one all age service at my church, DD (3) was have a raspberry blowing contest with the daughter of a trainee vicar (we stopped them when it got a bit loud). But I do draw the line at causing possibly thousands of pounds worth of damage! (I also take her out if there's a tantrum on the horizon).

Lots of children, Christmassy, starwands handed out? This sounds like a performance aimed at young children? If so, then I would say that sort of behaviour would be expected tbh - probably expected by the performers as well.

Just because a performance is aimed at young children doesn't mean they have to go and muck around with instruments.

A good string instrument can be worth thousands of pounds.

Sara it was an open-air, Christmassy kind of performance. A separate charity handed out the wands to children. However, I don't think this means a relaxed free-for-all. As I said, this was a professional orchestra, and the instruments were quite valuable. Not everything is for playing with or on. It wasn't specifically aimed at young children and I certainly don't think the players would have expected children clambering around their feet.

This is making me cringe. If one of the little ones had come anywhere near my violin, with grabby hands, during a performance, I would've been pushing them out the way (with my feet if necessary!). I'm not quite sure why the conductor didn't ask the parents to collect their children from the stage though. A stage isn't a safe play area! It isn't the children's fault because they're curious, and that's great, but the parents shouldn't be letting them up there mid-concert. I'm not adverse to letting anybody have a turn with my instrument, if asked politely, when I can help and avoid expensive damage. Not to mention that concentrating through a difficult piece worried that a small child is going to impale themselves on a music stand doesn't sound easy!

There are special classical concerts organised for child, where they allowed to try instruments. All members of orcestra know this so they don't take their most expensive instruments.

DD is 11 and sings in quite a good choir. They did a charity concert recently and lots of small children were dancing - fine. One child about 3 came up and start poking the soloist who to her credit carried on singing regardless - but dd said afterwards that soloist was crying inn dressing room, absolutely furious and felt it spoilt her hard work. Parents seemed to taken no notice at all

This is disgusting. I wish parents like that were capable of shame.

YANBU
I'd have been hoiking too

That sounds like exactly the sort of thing DD would try to do, she'd definitely be up dancing. She did escape and wander off into someone else's tent when camping too, we were mortified but luckily the other family saw the funny side.
This is why we decline invites to this sort of thing! My dad wanted to take us to a carol service in a cathedral over Xmas, we have already said no way as it would inevitably end in a tantrum when DD isn't allowed in the choir/organ/crib/font etc.

For a long time before I discovered mumsnet I was put off it by a group of mumsnet mums who met up in the library who had atrociously badly behaved children, throwing books around, screaming, messing with things when they'd been told not to, generally being entitled brats with no regard for other people's property. The mothers took umbrage when told the kids had to behave or leave. They gave mumsnet a bad name!

How did you know they were Mumsnetters? : intrigued ;

Scarves sixth scarves

Sixth, because a newcomer asked if they were the mumsnet group. They then proceeded to be really unwelcoming and cliquey towards her. From an outsider's POV there was a very interesting, if very unpleasant, group dynamic. Very Mean Girls.