Kids were onstage PLUCKING instruments! Yes, I was judgey. AIBU?

[TheClaws]

..this was an open-air classical concert we were attending. All ages, kind of Christmassy. Kids were dancing away close to the stage while their parents sat back watching - but some got too close. There were infants sitting on the stage, and as this was a full orchestra, there wasn't much room. And yes, some children even had the nerve to attempt to play with the instruments both mid-recital and during short breaks. At no time did a parent intervene or take their child away. WHYY?

YANBU. Although 4yo DS and I have been to concerts before where the children have been very strongly encouraged by the conductor to come and sit among the orchestra, within touching distance (though not touching!) for some of the performance, and to come up and see the instruments at the end, and that is a wonderful wonderful experience for children.

Yanbu What is wrong with people?!

My DD was one of the performers. She tells me the double bass was interfered with mid-performance . This, along with with the cello plucking, violin touching and stage sitting/wandering.

The BSO has hands on concerts for small children where participation is encouraged, and 4 year old DD got to dance in front of her seat all the way through and was also invited up to the stage to play the chimes. However, it was tightly organised and led. I think part of the issue is how it is set up and directed and what people expect. This was in a theatre, and children couldn't have got on stage with the performers.

It is great having events for people who don't usually go to concerts - and for children who probably haven't been to concerts. There may be some confusion though about how to behave. Maybe you'd expect parents would stop children getting to close or playing with instruments. However, it sounds as though that group of people would have benefited from advice about how close the children should get, and maybe a steward or 2 to oversee, should a similar concert happen in the future.

God, the whole event sounds ghastly! Steam would have been coming out of my ears. Thank heavens I don't have to go to child focused bobbins like this any more. Whatever happened to sitting in your seat, watching and listening to the performance and clapping at the end?

Those parents are on FB right now asking if anyone knows a good cello teacher because their DC is clearly a prodigy, as "Last night he just got up on stage during a recital and started playing the cello. The cellist looked absolutely astonished!"

tbh the conductor/principal should have halted the performance and ushered the children off the stage.

dancing - fine
distracting the orchestra - not fine and potentially dangerous

Instruments are expensive. What if they'd broken strings or affected the tuning etc

Wtf is wrong with people....

Basically parenting ffs it'd not cute or clever just Rude and entitled

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2860538/World-leading-violinist-loses-temper-stage-tells-parents-child-coughed-performance-Mozart-maybe-bring-s-older.html

Apologies for the DM link.

DH and I went to see violinist Kyung wan Chung in '14. I've never heard so much coughing at a theatre before - honestly. Every break between movements this poor woman had, was filled with hacking coughs.

Icing on the cake was the young child in the balcony. I couldn' t see them from where I was sitting but the coughs just went on and on.

It's very distracting for a performer.

All in all, I think people of all ages have lost the ability to behave appropriately in theatres - getting up and down, rustling packets, phones, chatting, taking pictures etc... so not really surprised about your experience OP.

You needed someone like me there. my neighbours will attest that I can yell "mind the violin" really loudly.

ds is not kind to the thankfully dirt cheap school violin.

I think because it was an open-air performance, perhaps the parents felt it was somehow less formal? Or the rules regarding behaviour were relaxed? But this was a professional orchestra. Unless you are invited to go anywhere near a stage/touch an instrument - you don't.

My kids never did anything like this (they're teenagers now). Is this a new style of parenting I'm not aware of?

Some people do not know how to behave in public. That's becoming more and more clear. And I bet these would have been MC parents who allowed this. IME they're the ones (obviously not all of them - I'm MC myself) who love their little darlings' freedom and creativity.

I'd judge too, OP

The parents were probably cracking open the Doritos and popcorn...

balloon

We had a band at our street party and nothing was done until two little darlings were bashing at the drum kit with used cooking utensils. And even then I don't think it was the parents who stepped in.

I do remember wearing Toddler Goggles throughout my DC's pre-school years: everything they did was cute and the act if a child genius, and every child even a bit bigger was a thug.

Oh, how we learn

Were they your children, Pickachew?! Do you really think any behaviour is acceptable provided the victim recipient doesn't protest?
If you really do, you are not fit to be out in public with your kids.

The rules seem to have changed - and we are the worse for it.

Everyone thinks that they should be allowed to do whatever they like. But that no-one else should.

Recent marching band display - really good - some kid ran backwards and forwards spoiling it. No-one knew whose he was. I would have liked to have picked him up and put him back behind the barriers - but can you imagine the outrage?

Again and again we have it on here - mostly sensible people outnumber the few - "my child/I did this and some other woman elderly man/ was rude and told me to stop"

If we all are more considerate it is better for everybody.

YANBU. What a shame the cello or double bass player didn't accidentally whack one of the children in the eye with their bow (violinists would find it hard to pass of as an accident because of the angles involved).

DD is 11 and sings in quite a good choir. They did a charity concert recently and lots of small children were dancing - fine. One child about 3 came up and start poking the soloist who to her credit carried on singing regardless - but dd said afterwards that soloist was crying inn dressing room, absolutely furious and felt it spoilt her hard work :( Parents seemed to taken no notice at all :(

If someone touched my cello or bashed the piano whilst I was playing in a concert, I would firstly initiate the death stare whilst continue to play and then remove fingers physically. I would then be tempted to let my cello spike slip if that didn't work.... I don't mind distractions, dancing etc. and I think it's lovely that they are enjoying the music when you see little ones dancing or clapping along, but touching my instrument without permission is not on. I'm actually fairly relaxed if someone asks if they can have a go as I can supervise and make sure no harm is done.

listsandbudgets That's awful for your DD. It just seems basic consideration has dissolved a bit. Manners aren't taught. A young child can be taught manners, IMO.

DD is 11 and sings in quite a good choir. They did a charity concert recently and lots of small children were dancing - fine. One child about 3 came up and start poking the soloist who to her credit carried on singing regardless

Ugh kinda feel the performance should have been stopped - and the parents called up on stag to come and remove their little brat. Although suppose can't blame the child with parents who think that is an ok thing to do.

That would give me the rage too. At the risk of sounding like an old gimmer, I think this is a general problem with concert and theatre etiquette slipping recently, people just don't know how to behave. I suppose it comes about (as someone said upthread) from people who haven't been to concerts/the theatre in the past now going. I think that's great and they should be welcomed with open arms, but theatres and concert halls should make their house rules more widely known, and make sure the ushers enforce the rules. Rustling food packets and chatting and letting your children run riot etc. would be annoying enough at the cinema, but when you have live actors and musicians who are concentrating on their work it crosses from irritating to disrespectful.

My sister is an actor and she has told me some absolute horror stories. Apparently it is worse around Christmas, last week at a matinee (!!) performance a woman in the audience was completely pissed and kept shouting at the actors during quiet moments. Apart from showing a complete disregard for the people around her, who had paid good money for their seats, how would she like it if someone shouted at her while she was trying to do her job? Madness.

This sort of behaviour just amazes me. I teach piano and violin at home and even with my pupils who hopefully vaguely know how to handle an instrument I am quite strict - and don't let them use my violin. One family whose children have lessons is a nightmare though - the son (who has piano lessons but has the attention span of a gnat) just messes with stuff, eg my husband's guitar, so I quickly removed it with a 'I think we'd best put that away' as his mum clearly wasn't going to stop him.

Oh my god, this happens????

Parents, do your sodding job!

So it's up to the orchestra to tell the parents to control their kids
Do we really need to be told that kids shouldn't touch instruments when people are performing?
What is wrong with some people?
Kids up dancing yes, that is wonderful! Touching the instruments when someone is playing? No.