AIBU to not buy adults drinks at softplay party?

[GraceNotes]

I just gave my DD a softplay party for her 5th birthday. I asked my sister about what's expected in terms of providing food and drink for the adults, as she has been to loads of SP parties and I haven't.
She told me that the drinks and food are never provided - there is always a cafe where the parents can go and purchase one. Obvs the children had party food, etc. However, she lives in a different part of the country.

So, I did not provide adult refreshments. Most of the adults just went up to get their own. However, I felt a few were a bit off about having to purchase them . One Mum announced loudly to her child that she couldn't come and play because she was waiting for coffee, then finally went up to buy one, but stared at me glumly the whole time she was in the queue. I also got a dirty look off another parent, who had been sat waiting for a while, as he went over to the counter.

When I arrived at the venue, they asked me if I would like to set up a tab for the parents drinks and I said no. The hot drinks are £2.20 each and as some children came with both parents it would have cost me £30-£40 just to buy them drinks. The party has cost us around £200 all-in and I really did not want to add on that amount of extra cost. There was food leftover from the kids' buffet which was put aside for the adults. (Party was 3pm to 5pm so not over tea-time).

I'm new to this area and I'm now worried that the expectations here are different and not providing drinks may be frowned upon. This is a very affluent area (we are the exception - we live on a normal estate with smaller houses, but surrounded by bigger ones). When my DD unwrapped the presents afterwards I'm surprised at how generous they were. What do you think the expectations are in this situation?

South East.

I've never ever expected drinks at parties I've taken DC's to I'm just grateful if there's a cafe with decent coffee tbh.

Last party we held we offered parents drinks but was a pretty small group and I felt it was reasonable to do so.

Not read all the replies, but YADNBU. With two school age kids, I've been to tons of soft play centre parties over the years.
Not once have I ever been to one where drinks were bought for the parents, and I'd never expect them to be bought either.
As you say, it costs enough for the party as it is without drinks for each and every parent as well!
Obviously it'd be lovely if they were added in, but in no way whatsoever are they expected.

I would have bought coffees for the parents (and always have in these circumstances before), but I don't think it should be expected! I would quite happily get my own coffee if I was at a party where coffee wasn't provided (in fact, the last soft play party we were at had flasks of tea and coffee for the parents - I would have far rather paid for a latte from the cafe, but felt I had to have the shitty coffee provided!).

North east here. I'd be interested to know if other north east parents have done as we've done. Might this be the reason I've never gelled with other school yard parents? Who knows.

In the meantime, buy your own coffee, I'll look after your children at my child's party. Sit back, relax, take your feet off etc. Actually, THIS might be the reason I haven't gelled with other parents; because I'm looking after your children on the infrequent gatherings we have. Even when it's not my child's party I can still see Oscar scaling the external wall of the soft play and I'm still ready to catch him - Superman-like - if he falls, whilst mum, Vicky, enthralls the crowd with how brilliant her son is. Grrr.

How do any parents actually sit at ease when their bairns are in soft play? Actually, Vicky does, the freeloader, the "can my other son come in too?" and "can I add a cappuccino to that" to me in the queue.

DD is going to a party next week. Do I heck expect to be bought coffee! This one is £17 per child just for the party alone, not sure if it's a party provided by the venue or if it's being done by the place. All I know is DD is going to have an hour of bouncing on trampolines with food after. I expect nothing to be provided to accompanying adults, nor do I think badly of the host for not laying on a 3 course buffet with prosecco.

FFS, it's a child's party, not a free-for-all.

User##### ah fair enough sorry, I read it that it was the adults who were expecting to be served the main cake. We've had it that the kids eat the fondant-covered shaped cake and the adults got a lovely bought choc fudge cake. I rather liked those parties!!

My ds is having a Pizza party which is pay per head, after reading this, I telephoned to see how much it would be to provide soft drinks for parents, was it was £2.50 per refillable drink, for 15-20 parents, that will be about £50 extra, which is a lot extra to pay on top of the £150 party, and the £35 cake I am having made.

So unfortunately I will not be providing drinks, round here, it is not expected, unless your in a hall or a home. For a pay per head venue, like soft play, or Pizza, bounce or whatever, no!

Isn't that the beauty of refillable drinks Aero just buy one and get them to pass it on
Are you sure parents can stay? The restaurant parties we have/hosted been to won't accommodate more than a few parents staying and not eating.

Its a kids party, ive thrown 4 so far and have never provided for the adults, never had a complaint either . Strange people

😁 notso good plan. Yes I think they are, ds is going to be 5 and in foundation most parents stay here.

Maybe this is a new thing

But when my children were smaller we were never offered drinks and food and we didnt offer

Just checking Aero hope you don't mind me mentioning. I am still haunted by an awkward experience in Frankie and Bennys when I was new to hosting children's parties and we have been told the same for DS's upcoming pizza party.

I think it depends on whether or not you requested that they stay to help supervise (in which case you should pay--at least the 1st drink); or if they just decided to stay of their own accord (in which case it's not essential but it's a nice gesture).

I've been to both, with the host buying at least the first drink being the most common. We've also paid for drinks when we've hosted.
If you're new to the area I also think it's a nice, friendly gesture to make to get to know the other parents.

Just called Pizza place and their fine with parents coming, they said its not really the norm for host to buy parents drinks. I simply cannot afford an extra £50 on top of the party, that is why I have only invited 15 in ds class. I would rather have 5 extra kids, then pay for adults drinks. Really round my way, if you are having a party in a hall or home, then you provide drinks, but in a pay per head venune, no. The price of drinks are extortionate, £2:50 per drink, times that by 15 plus adults, as well as both parents who decide to stay, your looking at well over £50, for most people, especially after Christmas, that is a lot.