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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its never okay to get a dog whilst working full time?

120 replies

RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 10:04

I really want everyone to say I'm BU on this one, but I suspect not Sad

I have extreme dog broodiness, always have. Have had dogs before and I love them.

Problem is that I now work FT and very soon DP will too.

As much as I desperately need want a dog, I think its so unfair to get one knowing that they'll spend 8 hours or so Mon to Fri on their own.
We can't really afford to pay a dog walker (round here you'd be looking at £12 for an hour so that's at least £60 each week) and the nature of my job (Nanny) means I couldn't commit to coming home at lunchtimes to visit.

My ideal dog would be a medium or large breed too, not a small lap dog.

This is likely to stay our circumstance for at least 10 years.

Is there a loop hole? Or am I right in saying its not fair to get a dog when the house is empty Mon-Fri?

OP posts:
Brightredpencil · 04/12/2016 10:05

YANBU - dogs need the stimulation, exercise and company.

Glastonbury · 04/12/2016 10:07

My neighbours are teachers and their dog goes to doggy daycare every day. I don't know how much it costs them.

StickyProblem · 04/12/2016 10:07

Everyone I know who has large dogs and works FT sends them to doggy daycare, so it's considerably more than £12 a day, and if the daycare lets them down they have to work from home. Sorry :(

Have you looked at Borrow My Doggy? Might help with the dog broodiness.

Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2016 10:08

You are right.
Even with a dog walker popping in for an hour or so it's too long really.
You could consider doggy daycare but with your dog there 8 hours a day it would be a bit much 5 days a week.
Some people might say that they do it and it's ok but I personally wouldn't.
We have a dog and I work mostly from home, if I have a client meeting he goes to daycare but that's only once or twice a month.

TiredMumToTwo · 04/12/2016 10:10

Obviously from my user name, I'm a bit of a dog fan! I've had dogs for the last eleven years and have always worked full time apart from two stints of maternity. However since I got my first dog I have mixed coming home at lunchtime, working from home, having a dog walker & now they go to doggy daycare. It is expensive but I just see it as part of the cost of owning a dog. I have friends and family who leave their dogs all day & even MIL was trying to convince me when I moved recently that this is what I should do but I could never ever do that, I would get rid of the dogs if I couldn't afford proper care for them.

dollyollymolly · 04/12/2016 10:10

No, it's not fair to get a dog if you work full time. Unless you can take it to work with you.

Get a cat instead?

Original poster
RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 10:14

We don't have easy access to outdoors for a cat, I don't think its fair to keep them indoors all the time, so a cat is out. Plus DP doesn't like them! Miserable sod.

I haven't looked at doggy daycare but I bet that's out of budget too.

OP posts:
Scooby20 · 04/12/2016 10:15

It's really not fair.

I work full time and dh works for himself. I changed my hours to start later so that ddpg is only alone for 1-2 hours at most. Dh goes out at 7am so he can be back at 1-2pm. He then walks her and takes her on the school run. She is with someone the rest of the day.

I have to work until 8pm to do this and dh could start work later if we didn't have her. But we made a commitment when we got our dog. Our lives have changed since then (I worked from home) but we put ourselves out so that she isn't alone too much.

I think it's really unfair getting a dog when you know you will be leaving them alone all day.

PossumInAPearTree · 04/12/2016 10:15

I think you're right. I've prioritised my dog over my career and when dh got a new non home based job I dropped to 3 days a week so the dog wasn't alone too much. We have a dog walker on the three days I work. I know loads of people at work who work full time and don't have a dog walker, they all think I'm crazy for having a dog walker.

NavyandWhite · 04/12/2016 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

confusedandemployed · 04/12/2016 10:22

Sorry I think you're right. If you could afford a walker or doggy day care then...maybe an adult dog with no separation anxiety issues. But if you can't...it's just too long for them to be alone. Sorry.

FWIW I was left with 2 dogs when my then DP died. I had to make ends meet and make sure the dogs were ok. I managed it, just about, but I went without things so that the dogs would be ok. I was lucky in that a combination of living very close to work, then part time working, meant that I could minimise the expense. But it was still considerable.

specialsubject · 04/12/2016 10:23

Correct. Bark bark bark destroy chew bark bark.

Not fair on the dog or the neighbours.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 04/12/2016 10:24

Borrow My Doggy

You can help out a dog owner by helping to look after their dog. Might help you get a dog fix if someone needs a hand over the weekends.

Otherwise YANBU,

icy121 · 04/12/2016 10:25

OP I'm dog broody and have been for years. Got 2 young rescue cats (1 year old, previous owner couldn't cope with them given her asthma and living in a 2nd floor flat - why get them Hmm?!) who are a fab dog substitute - one is v cuddly all the time, the other comes for bedtime cuddles, and they're very entertaining. Don't get quite the same bond as you would with a dog but they're very self sufficient and have definitely enhanced our lives.

I've just been posting on a thread about public and private sectors not being a competition, it's not one of the other - - the same with cats and dogs! You can love both!! More love is better Grin

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2016 10:25

I agree it's not fair on the dog. They don't like being alone on the whole.

GinIsIn · 04/12/2016 10:26

You can't have a dog - you are correct on that front. Sorry! When we worked in London and I couldn't take my dog to work, doggy daycare cost us nearly £500 a month but it's worth it for her to be happy, and looked after. If you can't care for one, or payoff someone else to, you really can't have a dog.

Try Borrow my Doggy?

Icequeen01 · 04/12/2016 10:27

We also would love a dog but both work full time. We won't even consider it until one of us reduces our hours or gives up work altogether (we are mid 50's so the reducing of hours is something we would like to do in the next few years).

I always think about how I would feel day in day out stuck looking at the same four walls with no company. Just awful. I am sure people will say they work full time and their dogs are fine and may be the dogs do cope but IMO it's a pretty miserable way to have to live. Luckily we are able to have cats and have a cat flap so they can come and go as they please.

PacificDogwod · 04/12/2016 10:28

Another vote for Borrow my Doggy.

Or volunteer for the Dog's Trust or similar rescue? They are often looking for dog walkers.

YANBU, sorry.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 04/12/2016 10:28

You're right. The previous occupants of this house had a dog which they left at home all day while they both worked. The poor thing was frantic, according to next door neighbour. The patio doors, walls, door frames, everything were scratched to bits. Apparently he'd chewed the new 3 piece suite and custom designed kitchen to bits too. What's more, they didn't learn as they then went and bought another dog when he died... Sad

BlurryFace · 04/12/2016 10:31

Depends on the dog and if one of you could get home for a loo break and a cuddle at lunch time. It would have to be a chilled out adult rather than a puppy though. It would also help if you worked slightly different hours.

margaritasbythesea · 04/12/2016 10:32

Gosh. I'm so glad people are saying it's not okay. I live between two dog owning families who are out all day. I come and go alit during the day. The poor dogs bark and bark and I have to see their little tfaces at the window hoping I'm their owner and going nuts when I'm not.

I've never owned a dog but it seems to me cruel.

On another note, £12 an hour for dog walking. Wow! What a great job.

Reluctant2ndtimer · 04/12/2016 10:33

www.borrowmydoggy.com/bmd
Really you can't get your own dog and leave it alone all day but borrow my doggy could really work for you as a fix until you can. Or get an indoor cat, rescues often have indoor cats. They maybe don't need as much space as you think.

Original poster
RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 10:34

I'd love to volunteer at a dog rescue but I work 50 hours a week at my normal job and then about another 30 on my businesses plus 20 on a degree (I think I just listed three other reasons I shouldn't get a dog!) so I simply don't have the time.

I dream of a simple life where I can stay at home surrounded by dogs and cakes and play with them all day.

OP posts:
becca1611 · 04/12/2016 10:35

I'm sure this will be frowned upon and I will get some horrible come back but I am a teacher and I am out of the house 8 hours a day. I have a 3 yr old sprocker spaniel that we have had from pup. I get up and walk her with a ball in the morning so she has a good run, pee & poop but she is then left 7:30-3:30 mon-fri. Soon as I am home we go straight out for another good walk (to the beach or better park than in morning) but my dog is used to this routine as we have done this from her being 4 months old. We started out with the puppy crèche and walkers but she is extremely lively and we were asked not to bring her back until she had calmed down :( I never bothered returning as she is in the routine of morning walk, then back in her bed whilst we go to work. We have a fairly large kitchen that she is shut in and has never caused any damage or chaos whilst we are out and doesn't appear distressed whilst we are out. In fact I have crept up early on her and she's just been curled up in her bed asleep. If I have to work late I send in a friend or parent but dogs adapt and learn especially if taught from pup. You just have to expect to come home to little wees on the floor until they are fully trained if being left all day but that's understandable and I never got cross with her as it's not her fault we were out all day.

user1477282676 · 04/12/2016 10:35

YANBU. I was recently quite shocked when I realised a friend of mine had got a puppy. She lives alone and works full time. She keeps posting images on FB of the damage the dog has done to her house... poor little thing.

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