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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its never okay to get a dog whilst working full time?

120 replies

RentANDBills · 04/12/2016 10:04

I really want everyone to say I'm BU on this one, but I suspect not Sad

I have extreme dog broodiness, always have. Have had dogs before and I love them.

Problem is that I now work FT and very soon DP will too.

As much as I desperately need want a dog, I think its so unfair to get one knowing that they'll spend 8 hours or so Mon to Fri on their own.
We can't really afford to pay a dog walker (round here you'd be looking at £12 for an hour so that's at least £60 each week) and the nature of my job (Nanny) means I couldn't commit to coming home at lunchtimes to visit.

My ideal dog would be a medium or large breed too, not a small lap dog.

This is likely to stay our circumstance for at least 10 years.

Is there a loop hole? Or am I right in saying its not fair to get a dog when the house is empty Mon-Fri?

OP posts:
FireSquirrel · 04/12/2016 12:05

'Such short little lives our dogs have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day." :( ― John Grogan, author of Marley and Me.

Don't do it OP, it really isn't fair on the dog. Maybe look at Borrow My Doggy or volunteering at a kennels or with the Cinnamon Trust, sonewhere you could get your regular dog fix without actually owning one.

PacificDogwod · 04/12/2016 12:08

Wrt to greyhounds, yes, they make good pets, and yes, they spend a LOT of time sleeping/lying around and require little in the way of walks.
BUT - they are total people dogs, they crave the companionship, maybe more so because the virtually all grew up with knowing nothing but kennels.

Mine is attached to me with superglue and is never left alone for more than, say, 4 hours or so which he copes with just fine.
But there is no doubt what he craves is company.

PacificDogwod · 04/12/2016 12:09

Elderly greyhounds can make great pets for people with mobility problems btw.

Cherrysoup · 04/12/2016 12:17

Op, you're right, the extra hours on your business and degree really cap it for me.

I'm f/t, so is my dh, but he works shifts, so the dogs are never left for more than four hours. If they are, the neighbour comes and stays with them several times a day, plus they are their own company.

Mitfordhons · 04/12/2016 12:18

DH and I work ft and have two greyhound type lurchers. They're walked in the morning, Dh leaves at 9, I come home for lunch and then teen dcs turn up from 3.30 onwards. It works well, with school holidays etc it's not every week either. I don't think it'd work with livelier dogs or with none popping in.

FairyDogMother11 · 04/12/2016 12:39

We both work full time but basically work opposite shifts so it works for us. If we worked the same shift we wouldn't have got a dog as it wouldn't be fair on him.

AwkwardSquad · 04/12/2016 12:47

One of the neighbours I referred to in my previous post had a greyhound. It most definitely did mind being left alone for long periods. And it didn't make much difference when they got a second dog (well, except that we got treated to a chorus not just a soloist). But it's not the dog-owner that has to listen to the howling, is it?

AwkwardSquad · 04/12/2016 12:49

I wish that the current neighbours had read something like this thread before they got their dog. The poor wee scrap is only a puppy.

estateagentfromhell · 04/12/2016 12:58

Dogs like to be part of your family though, even if you did send them to doggie daycare, they would still miss you and your family. Random people, while better than nothing for company aren't the same thing at all...

Also, I hate to say this, but if £12 a day for walking is completely out of the question in your household budget, can you really afford a dog? It sounds like things are very tight for you financially and in your situation, I would think very carefully before taking on another mouth to feed...

The fact that you are giving this such careful thought says lots of good things about you as a person, but I'm sure you can see for yourself that it would be quite a selfish decision for you to take on a dog.

littlesallyracket · 04/12/2016 13:02

I'm in the same situation as you, OP.

YANBU to think it wouldn't be fair on the dog. You're being kind and responsible by not getting one.

I speak as someone who has been known to have a little secret cry when someone I know gets a dog, because I love dogs so much and can't have one.

Wolfiefan · 04/12/2016 13:05

Can I ask that if people are missing wing around a dog they consider The Cinnamon Trust? Volunteer and you can walk as little or as often as you want. That way you get the fun of walking and an elderly or unwell person gets to keep their much loved pet. Really worthwhile charity. They are national. Worth noting that not all their cases will be on their website.

MiaowTheCat · 04/12/2016 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sleepwhenidie · 04/12/2016 13:16

Slight thread derail, sorry but estateagent re dogs wanting to be with their family, not just anyone, that's something I've been wondering about (possibly over thinking Grin), but we have a regular borrowmydoggy dog, she spends a day or two a week with us and I think will be with us for two weeks over Christmas. She seems very happy and we love her but do you think it's potentially confusing for her having two 'packs' (or would she never think of us the same way as her proper family?!)

user1471545174 · 04/12/2016 13:23

People live in a fantasy world when it comes to dogs, and treat them like teddy bears.

My neighbour is a SAHM and probably has no idea her dog barks and howls NON-STOP until she comes in from the school run, shopping etc -nicely advertising an empty house.

Dogs need company all the time (main reason I'm not a dog person).

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/12/2016 13:25

"We don't have easy access to outdoors for a cat, I don't think its fair to keep them indoors all the time, so a cat is out. "
So you won't have a cat because it's living conditions would not be 'fair' - you know that leaving a dog for 8 hours a day would not be 'fair' either, so I think you've answered your own question.

SoupDragon · 04/12/2016 13:29

Dogs need company all the time

They really don't.

sterlingcooper · 04/12/2016 13:32

I am in the same boat as you OP. Really really want a dog, but can't see how it would be fair when DP and I both work full time with commutes to boot.

Where we live (France) it is actually socially acceptable to leave a dog alone out in the garden all day (all houses here tend to be fully enclosed and gated). But I just don't think I could do it. We have had a dog in the past who was left alone a lot, but that was a bit of a long complicated story.

TalkinPeace · 04/12/2016 13:33

Get two retired greyhounds

They will happily sleep all day and then you run them for 20 mins after work and they will laze around with you all evening.
Genuinely the laziest dogs in the world
And lovely company

SusanneLinder · 04/12/2016 13:44

I have two lurchers and work full time, so does DH. Although DD's are home part of the time as they do shifts.
My dogs genuinely sleep all day. Laziest dogs on the planet. They get a run at 7am for half an hour, and as they are 40 mile an hour couch potatoes, it tires them out. I work flexi so can be home early. They get a run again when we get home, and another at bed time , knackers them out.
I would get doggy day care if DD's werent at home though, just to check on them.
I would never get a pup and leave it all day though.

SusanneLinder · 04/12/2016 13:45

See Talking Peace beat me to it...Grin

dingdongdigeridoo · 04/12/2016 13:55

Given your screename I'm guessing you're also a tenant? I'd think long and hard about getting any pet if you rent. While your current LL might be ok with it, if they sell up or you have to move for any by reason, it's near impossible to find a LL who'll be OK with a dog. Last time I was looking for a place I reckon about 99% of the listings stated no pets, or when we called up they'd said no to our cat.

PacificDogwod · 04/12/2016 14:04

Yes, apparently the only thing easier than having ONE greyhound, is having two Grin

TalkinPeace · 04/12/2016 14:06

pacific
A friend has 6
They are so quiet after a run you forget they are there - apart from having to step over them

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/12/2016 14:07

You are not being unreasonable, because it pretty much is unreasonable to get a dog when you are both working full time..

HOWEVER..

If you can afford dog daycare or dog walker daily.

If you are willing to make compromises in whatdog/how many dog/how old dog..

A pair of greyhounds who have been kennelled together years (not just slung together by a rescue!), direct from the trainer off the track...

Who arrive with you when you have a fortnight off work followed by your OH having a fortnight off HIS work... followed by doggy daycare/petsitter/dog walker as dogs needs dictate...

Could work out well for you - but not cheap, and maybe you don't want a pair of greyhounds, who will be (and this is the reason it would work) institutionalised and mentally deprived (sorry greyhound fans but thats the truth, they are!) and possibly thus always remain a bit 'thick'...

They will almost always come needing to be taken to the vets requiring a dental and any lumps/bumps removed/spayed so you'd have to factor that in.

People can do it and can make it work IF they are willing to make the sacrifices and compromises needed.

A pair of greyhounds who have only ever known van - track - kennel - dog box and paddock will be in the lap of luxury with a whole house, people to cuddle at least 12 hours of the day, each other and regular walks/toilet trips.

But they will also need educating as to waht a washing machine is and what a non-greyhound shaped dog is and what a ROAD is and.. basically everything that is not van - track - kennel - dog box.

As pp's have mentioned it is also hard to find rental properties that accept dogs and ones that accept two large dogs, even harder.

The reality is, you'd be spending a LOT of money as well as time, to make this work - you would have to want it really, VERY badly indeed.

YelloDraw · 04/12/2016 14:08

You can't have a dog, no. Because you don't have the appropriate level of care for a dog whilst you're at work.

Many people do have dogs and work full time - most that I know pay for doggy day care or 2x walks.