to think its never okay to get a dog whilst working full time?

[RentANDBills]

I really want everyone to say I'm BU on this one, but I suspect not

I have extreme dog broodiness, always have. Have had dogs before and I love them.

Problem is that I now work FT and very soon DP will too.

As much as I desperately need want a dog, I think its so unfair to get one knowing that they'll spend 8 hours or so Mon to Fri on their own.
We can't really afford to pay a dog walker (round here you'd be looking at £12 for an hour so that's at least £60 each week) and the nature of my job (Nanny) means I couldn't commit to coming home at lunchtimes to visit.

My ideal dog would be a medium or large breed too, not a small lap dog.

This is likely to stay our circumstance for at least 10 years.

Is there a loop hole? Or am I right in saying its not fair to get a dog when the house is empty Mon-Fri?

Blurry it's still not ok to leave a "chilled out adult" dog alone most of the day - your furniture might not get destroyed but the dog WILL get depressed (have a quick Google if you don't believe me - tons of evidence and studies proving this).

If you can't afford doggie daycare and are out all day you shouldn't have a dog. Nipping home for half an hour at midday is insufficient to meet a dog's need for socialising.

Becca you are correct - you SHOULD get flamed, have a read of the research on canine depression and then come back and tell me you aren't cruel.

I agree OP, dogs are needy and love conpany so think you are being wise. I don't agree that keeping cats inside is cruel though, I'm constantly hearing about outdoor cats being poisoned, run over, running away etc. My cat is indoors, stimulated and not had any vet attention since he was a kitten (7 year old) so it's something to consider.. they are easy pets!

If I had a nanny, I'd be happy for him or her to bring a well behaved dog along. The children get the benefit of a pet without me having any responsibly for it. Is this an option for you?

Otherwise, don't discount cats. We have a cat who is blind (amongst other issues), and so is only allowed outside occasionally, under supervision.

We have an incredibly strong bond with her, and she sleeps snuggled up under the duvet with us each night. When we go upstairs in the evening she runs up ahead of us and sits on the bed waiting for us. She can't be left overnight, but working full time is ok. Not all cats are the independent aloof sort. If you get one that's got to stay inside for health reasons access to the outdoors doesn't matter.

I mean I guess it depends where someone lives and how much they can pop home during the day but it's really not ideal, and def not on to leave a dog for a whole working day. When we got our dog, my dad was still alive and did shift work and worked literally five minutes from our house so popped back a lot, that combined with the time I left for work, my sister coming home at lunch time and my mum getting home by half four meant my dog never spent long on his own, it was perfect. When my dad died, it was a struggle to make it all work so he wasn't on his own too long - he was older by this point and slept a lot so we managed to make it work but if he had been a more active dog, we probably would have had to rehome him. When he died earlier this summer, we realised just how much he had been ruling what we could and couldn't do - and we would do it all again, obviously, but it really was a lot of work to make sure he was cared for.

We have a dog, and both have full time jobs. However... DH leaves for work before me so I give DDog a good walk in the mornings, we have a dog walker (who is a friend, but she is a dog walker so of course we pay her) who comes in to him around lunchtimes, and then DH gets home before me so is home for him.

He is happy and content, does have chance to go out in the middle of the day, and is very good when left on his own for a few hours. This routine works for us and our dog. I think it totally depends on a number of different factors to whether you can make something like this work.

If however, you're talking about leaving a dog all day every day with no contact/access to outside/stimulation... that is different.

OP, what is it your DP doesn't like about cats?

Just that you may find there's some crossover with dogs (vet costs, need for interaction, fur everywhere, toileting accidents, needing to arrange care when you're away) and he just doesn't want the commitment of a pet.

In which case, decision made.

We have just taken on two spaniels as a rehome because the owner had gone through divorce and she had to return to work fulltime. The dogs were loved and looked after and it was a hard decision for her and she did waver. We left it to her to contact us again so she was not pressurised and the she left it until an hour or two before we were expecting them.

They are crazy working cockers and one of them howls like wolf when we return from being out. God knows what it must have been like for her neighbours. There are no nearby homes so it is just as well. I am not working and this was really important to her. She told us she house checked carefully because a previous applicant for the dogs was "not what they said they were".

However, I think some people are being a bit harsh. After all, you could be a good dog owners for many years and perhaps for financial reasons have to change your working patterns. Should a dog be cast out from it's home as surely some adaptions could be made. No-one is a perfect dog owner no matter what they may say on the internet.

I have a greyhound and since we adopted him age 2 he has always been left during the day with a visit at lunchtime for a wee and a cuddle. He is fine with this arrangement, a lot of greyhounds sleep all day regardless of what is going on around them - if I work at home he takes himself off to a different room so he can sleep undisturbed. Lots of dogs would not be happy with this but it is dependent on breed and personality.

He's left from 9 until 12.30, then 1 until 5. When I'm not at work I spend as much time with him as possible - I don't often go out during the evening and do most stuff at the weekend so he doesn't have whole days on his own. We had an older second dog for a few years who also got on fine with this arrangement.

It sounds as if it's not just your working hours that are a potential blocker, but the commitments you have in the rest of your time as well. It's good that you're thinking of this now though - lots of dogs are currently in rescue as their owners realise these things a few months down the line.

I don't think it's fair on a dog to be left that long - if you were able to come home in lunch hour then not too bad but still not ideal - as you're not, I personally wouldn't get one just now .... think about the dog and not yourself and you will see it's better to wait for now

I think it's possible to find a dog that would be happy enough with owners that worked full-time, but you'd have to adopt as an adult and know their temperment. Ideally, you would work staggered hours (one person leaves early, the other late etc) too to keep that to only 7 or 8 hours alone, as if you include commute many people are actually out of the house 10 or 11 hours a day.
My dog - a rescue staffy-x we took in as a 3 year old - is alone 2 or 3 full days a week at home, we have a video monitor linked up so I can watch him, and he just naps. Has never chewed or destroyed anything while we have been out. He has just started breaking into our room to sleep on our bed though (he is not allowed in there full stop when we are home), cheeky little sod that he is.

If working patterns change there are dog sitters and daycare. Op cannot afford that and has wisely thought it through.

The person who thinks all dogs can be left clearly doesn't live in earshot of constant barking.

Just make sure you don't leave the dog (if you get 1) in the car for more than 3 minutes because some people on MN have issues with it

www.goodhousekeeping.co.uk/news/dogs-suffer-depression-pdsa-study

I feel your pain op, I was you for 20 years. Then dh semi retired and his working hours on his working days( 3 pw) changed to 5-11am. I work 9-5 with 40 mins dinner. Ddog is left for 2.5 hours 3 days a week and is fine. He is a large lab cross and gets an hours walk in the morning and same in the afternoon / evening, plus playtime and a good off lead run a couple of times a week ( in winter, daily off lead in summer).
What working hours will your dp be doing?

For those of you who say its ok to leave a dog - it is not.

I am a dog walker (one of the reasons I started was because I hate the thought of dogs all alone all day long!) and I can tell you that the dogs which are left all day long are much, much more badly behaved/needy than the ones which are only left for a few hours at a time.

Dogs are pack animals and need regular company. Most dogs which are left are sad and lonely. Owners who leave their dogs for long periods know this really but chose to turn a blind eye and that in my opinion is cruel. I would never leave my dog for more than 4 hours and even then that is rare, he is my mate and loves my company.

So, OP you YANBU - wait until you have more time on your hands. However much you want one, a dog shouldn't be on the top of your wishlist atm!

I think if you can't afford a dog walker or have family to share the dog with it's not fair. £12 seems a lot though, the ones near us are £8.

My sister has a rescue Staffie who is 17 and even he can't be left more than 6 hours and he is very sedate and calm due to his age. She has family who will walk him to break the day up for him until she is home.

I agree that it's not an ideal situation. But, my parents have had dogs for over 40 years, and largely have left them for eight hours a day. They have been fairly placid breeds, and there have been times when they have been puppies / needed extra attention and they've arranged to come home at lunch to walk them etc, but not for sustained periods of time.

They have always been happy, well adjusted dogs.

So while I agree it wouldn't be my first choice, I think it can be done without being cruel. I think others may not agree with me...

I strongly disagree with people getting dogs when they work full time, unless they can take the dog to work, use doggy day care or a dog walker. I get my judgy knickers in even more of a twist if they don't pop home at lunch to let the dog out despite living close by, or barely bother to walk the dog when they are at home - looking at you work colleague .

I think working 2 maybe 3 days at a push and having a dog is acceptable, but any more than that and it's completely selfish and cruel.

OP any chance of getting someone around your way who you could trust to visit the dog or walk it during the day at all or perhaps there might be someone who you could share a dog with?.

Perhaps there are some breeds who don't seem to mind being alone perhaps more than others?. If you said your in Chelsea that might not be easy but why not ask the folks at the Battersea dogs home for their pro opinion maybe?.

What about a house rabbit or indoor guinea pigs?

Maybe rescue some.

Thank you for being responsible and not getting a cat/dog until your circumstances are ok for them. (Same as having children!!)
I waited 10years til I got my rescue cat and she was worth the wait!
Good luck!!

The thing is, dogs live what - between ten and twenty years?

We got our dog in early 2010. I cannot begin to tell you how much life has changed since then, I really can't. Babies and job changes and illnesses and marriage breaking down then getting back together and house moves and bereavements.

The dog has stayed with us. To me, you shouldn't leave a dog alone all day but I really don't see why you wouldn't use a dog walker. I think the lonely dogs in rescue centres would be happier with a home!

You definitely do not have time for a dog OP.

After all, you could be a good dog owners for many years and perhaps for financial reasons have to change your working patterns.

But that's not the case here. The OP hasn't got the dog yet.

In an ideal world, dogs would have constant companionship, but sometimes life aint perfect.

I have always had dogs, usually two at a time. We got the first when youngest child was 2 years old and i worked part time 9am until 11am, Monday - Thursday. Sounds okay, doesnt it? But then i had school runs on top. And needed to go to doctors/shopping/school stuff/playdates/cubs/beavers etc., so was probably out of the house a LOT more than 2hours a day.

I am at home all day now. I have two dogs. We walk for a couple of hours very early morning home, breakfasts etc, then are back out by 9 am for a quick 45 minute walk so back by 10am at the latest.

I do not see the dogs until teatime! They take themselves off and sleep the day away, venturing out if someone comes to the door, or for a drink of water, then straight back to their beds.

About 4:30, they rouse themselves for their last walk, followed by their tea. SO, from 10-4 everyday, i could, in theory, but out of the house and never missed!

Having said all of this, i would never choose to have dogs and work full time, but i dont think dogs need constant attention. I also secong rescue greyhounds as great 'home alone' dogs. Mine are labs, but my friend rescues greyhounds and i have never met such chilled out dogs - practically comatose most of the time😊

Hi OP - Unfortunately YANBU and are right, the PDSA say the max you can leave a dog is 4 hours and that's isn't a regular thing.

You've said you don't have easy access to outside so I'm guessing you can't leave a backdoor open even when you are home for the dog to go in the garden? This would mean every time the dog needed to be taken out; for example on the hour to go to the loo you would have to get up and take it.

You've also said you can't volunteer at a dog shelter, which might only include an hour walk a day for a dog - even if you did get a dog and kept it in for 8 hours a day it would mean getting home and taking it out for 2hours+ to be fair to it so wouldn't have time for this.

If you did get it and kept it in for 8 hours you couldn't just take it for a short walk, it would have to be multiple hours.

Sorry but it doesn't seem you have the time for one at the moment but I'm sure you will at some point. Having a dog be looked after someone else can also cause problems - like inconsistency in training that can lead to behaviour problems etc. Maybe get a small animal for now and get your fill down at the local dog park :)