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Original poster

To wonder how many people not sending Christmas Cards actually donate?

66 replies

PrettySophisticated · 03/12/2016 19:26

I've seen loads of messages already, in the vein of "I'm not sending Christmas Cards and will donate to charity instead."

If you want to donate to Charity, that's lovely. If you don't want to send me a card, that's fine. But, I'm not sure yo need to tell me you're giving "my" card money to charity and I'm not entirely sure I believe that you will.

OP posts:
FizzBombBathTime · 03/12/2016 19:28

I wonder too

If I did this the charity wouldn't get much, I got my cards at the pound shop this year... And they were having a 90p sale!!! 😂

user1471461436 · 03/12/2016 19:31

I dont, but I dont pretend

Original poster
PrettySophisticated · 03/12/2016 19:32

It's the stamps FizzBomb, but I wonder, even when the donation is actually made, how often the postage costs are included in the calculation Grin

OP posts:
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot · 03/12/2016 19:37

I think making an announcement is virtue signalling.

Better to just make your donation, rather than announce it.

Not sending cards just takes something from the recipients. Perhaps it's better to take something from yourself, and have drink a bit less or scoff fewer chicks and donate that instead.

And prune your Xmas card list according to who you want to send greetings to. that's a separate thing.

CakeNinja · 03/12/2016 19:40

I don't bother with cards, but I don't donate. Well, I do donate to charity as and when but I don't actively send a charity £20 in lieu of cards.
And I don't ever need to explain this either!
People that send us cards, I just say thankyou! If they were bothered about not getting one in return, they'd have got the hint by now as I never send the bloody things, I hate them! Such a waste, I read them and put them in the bin.

cardibach · 03/12/2016 19:41

I wonder why anyone cares. Or why anyone sends cards.

FizzBombBathTime · 03/12/2016 19:43

Ah good shout with the stamps!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 03/12/2016 19:43

I don't do cards at all, I donate to a charity close to my heart instead. I don't go announcing it to everyone, but I do it every year.

Titsywoo · 03/12/2016 20:01

I don't do cards and see that as saving the environment just a teeny little bit so that's enough for me! Plus I'm lazy and don't care enough.

enchantmentandlove · 03/12/2016 20:04

I'm not really a huge fan of people publicly announcing their charitable donations anyway. It's a great thing to do, but I don't think you need to make a big deal about it.

mygorgeousmilo · 03/12/2016 20:29

I have wondered this too! I'm not rich, and yet somehow manage to give cards with nice words to friends and loved ones in, AND donate to charity - without going on about it. In fact, as I can't decide between various causes, I've decided to cut out my take away coffees and pastries (my only regular extravagance) for December to save myself more in order to give away more. Again, it's a deeply felt need to counterbalance my good fortune out a bit. Crisis, Foodbank, Amnesty Int, Sea Shepherd and helping a local family with the Christmas essentials. Feel less guilty for a good life when I I help out others either physically or financially. I don't tell anyone other than my husband and children, it's not something I'm putting on fb or shouting about. Do it, don't do it.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 03/12/2016 20:33

DS's teacher has requested a donation in lieu of a card for the team, and they will use the donated money towards an Oxfam project.

Seems a good way to do it to me. They're aiming to demonstrate how to help other people.

NotStoppedAllDay · 03/12/2016 20:36

I also wonder why anyone cares

VikingVolva · 03/12/2016 20:41

I damned well hope they are making a donation.

Even though announcing it like that is frightfully wanky.

GravyAndShite · 03/12/2016 22:14

Wow. This post makes me think of the law of mirrors. Hmm

crayfish · 03/12/2016 22:45

I did donate and told people about it, but the reason I told people is that the fantastic charity I donated to is one that DH volunteers for, and they receive no charitable or public funding and need all the help they can get. If my telling people that I have donated raises awareness of the charity and publicises them even a little bit then I will be delighted and I don't care if people think I'm 'virtue signalling'.

mnpeasantry · 03/12/2016 23:10

Another wonderer. Especially as you can buys charity Christmas cards, thereby killing two birds with one stone and if you really feel like hammering home the charity angle you could get busy on the back of the card with a highlighter.

As a non religious observer of Christmas (whatever it means to many these days) I love sending and receiving cards. As we move increasingly digital with our media and communications, greetings cards are a beautiful and temporary reminder of just how analog we were not so long ago. Veering off topic misty eyed. As you were.

Marmalady75 · 03/12/2016 23:17

At my work we made an agreement years ago that we wouldn't send each other cards and put £5 in a kitty which was donated to a different charity each year. I quite liked it tbh. The last couple of years we've had new people start who didn't like this and still sent cards. It got a little awkward when one made a fuss about not getting many in return. Not sure what we'll do this year Hmm

Davros · 03/12/2016 23:57

Can I just put a word in for cards?

  • by sending charity cards you are helping to spread awareness
  • making cards is an activity often undertaken by disabled people who are involved in charities (my child included). Making cards can give them a lot of pleasure, and connects them to the season. If no one bought cards any more there would be no point in them doing this fun, creative and community-orientated activity Sad
LAlady · 04/12/2016 01:24

Either send cards. Or don't. Or make a charitable donation. Or don't. But whatever you do, don't bother broadcasting it over Facebook.

GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 08:45

crayfish I really agree with this. I believe that the people who are talking so loudly about virtue signalling probably aren't that generous financially if they can't even be generous of spirit.

We are on our third year of a financial donation to the local food bank. Came to the head whenever my bill for Christmas postage was over £50. We had learnt that food banks can receive financial donations and issue vouchers for meat and fresh vegetables in conjunction with some of the local stores. (Not hugely important but I believe that the local stores sell these vouchers to the food bank for cheaper than retail). The next year that £50 went to the food bank.

I just couldn't stomach it anymore. As the years have gone on and our family's financial situation has improved we have gradually been able to increase that yearly donation, and I actually have £75 budgeted for this year.

Each year I email out a digital family picture I would have used on our holiday card, with the Christmas greetings and a few lines about the charity we support. Honestly it didn't even register that some people are going to be wondering whether I've made this donation. It must be really exhausting to be that suspicious all the time.

Conversely I also still receive quite a few Christmas cards and I smile as I read them and put them up on my walls. I made a choice for our family without judging everyone else's choice.

Original poster
PrettySophisticated · 04/12/2016 08:49

I think it's because I give quietly that I'm suspicious Gravy. I give a lot of time to charities, which of course people know about but no-one, not a soul knows when I give cash. I give more to our foodbank than I spend on my own family's shopping, but even the organisers don't know that.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrettySophisticated · 04/12/2016 08:54

Why does there need to be a link between the cards and the donation though Gravy? You've decided to do a nice thing and give to charity. You've decided not to send cards. Bur why do they need to be linked and why do you need to tell people you're doing it.

Fwiw, I still send a few cards to people I won't see but genuinely care about, but I don't do the mass mailout that used to be so common. Mostly because it seemed pointless, to save me time and avoid waste - nothing to do with charity.

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GravyAndShite · 04/12/2016 09:02

PrettySophisticated it's a pity that you feel so self-conscious about doing such a positive thing. If you shared that information with the people around you you could be setting such an amazing example and inspiring people all round you to help others too.

If we all keep with the mindset that giving should be done privately then it can lead to creating the illusion that, 'nobody else gives so why should I?'

I agree that the amount should be private because no one should feel obliged to give a certain amount (or keep up with the Joneses) but within our means, giving is a really important and enriching part of identity.

Ultimately I believe that we give for ourselves. It is good for us to take care of others in whatever way we can. Therefore if someone is saying they are giving and they aren't it does not affect me at all.

I just don't understand why it would be something you would consider at all. I just don't know why it would matter.

moomoogalicious · 04/12/2016 09:06

I do this and send a private message to friends and family wishing them happy Christmas and explaining why I haven't sent a card. Otherwise they'd wonder why I hadn't sent anything.