How much of a prat am I going to look if I ask them to replace this tree?

[MrsKoala]

We ordered an xmas tree of a certain size to be delivered this morning. Yesterday i went out and when i got home a tree was outside the front door and there was a message saying they were dropping it early. The tree looked bigger than i want so i measured it and it's 2ft bigger than ordered. It wont fit in our living room. We wanted one which was floor to ceiling.

We don't have tools and things, or the time or inclination to be chopping bits off. Where we would need to chop off the top would mean it looks ridiculous and wouldn't have a 'point' anymore.

I want to call and tell them to collect it and deliver one the right size. Will i look like a twat? I understand it must be hard to find exactly the right size tree to order, but they do advertise trees by size and i'd rather a smaller one if necessary.

like this but unhelpfully out of stock

at least its not this tree that fell down and smashed up our neighbours fence :(

Bloody hell preg! That could've been nasty!

Love this thread

This thread is pathetic. You can't cut 2ft off a tree??? Yes, I'd laugh at you if you rang to say your tree was too big.

Fucking hell. Read the fucking thread!

You just need to make sure it's free of squirrels now MrsK

I do love when people don't read the full thread, or at least the OP's updates. Like the poor abandoned DD thread all over again

You could either hang nutty treats on the tree to keep the squirrels in there, or leave a trail of nuts from the tree to the open back door to lure them out & away.

Depends how squirrelly a Christmas you want, really.

Are we allowed to eat the squirrels? And do they go with pigs in blankets? (Trick question of course because EVERYTHING goes with pigs in blankets)

Squirrels in pillows??

MrsK I feel I could tip you over the edge by asking what's going on with your coving in that photo? Perhaps you need a good builder

I'm sorry. For penance I will tell you of the time when the DC were little and I decided we would have a real Christmas tree. I was so excited to get it all secretly set up when the DC were at school so it would be a surprise. I kept telling them about the secret surprise I had planned. On the appointed Secret Suprise^ day I trogged off to Homebase, couldn't find the trees and decided to ask a staff member for help. Not hard to ask where the Christmas tree are, you'd think. "Sorry to bother you, please can you tell me where you keep your secret surprises?"^

Foolishly I made the mistake of sharing this tale of social ineptitude with DH and now our Xmas tree is nicknamed Secret Surprise...

My secret surprise is up and decorated already but I'm not sharing a pic as it's tasteless hideousness will make your eyes bleed. I had to restrain DH from buying a life size nativity scene from Costco for the front garden. We don't do subtle restrained good taste.

Christ I can't even get fucking italics right never mind complicated social interactions.

Oh go on, post a picture of your secret surprise? (which does NOT sound rude at all, oh no)

No I can't, really! It's also lopsided as I dropped it down the stairs (and called it a "twatting knobface" without realising my DC were at the bottom of the stairs Luckily they are teenagers)

It's pink. Let's leave it at that

As for the coving, it's the same in the room above too. We think it was left like that when the windows were all replaced. We only moved in in May so will get someone to make a mould of it and fill in the gaps (the previous people had lilac walls, lime green curtains and tartan carpet, so I'm not sure if it really bothered them!)

It can't be worse than mine prostrate on the living room floor. We are starting to get used to it now and just walking round it as if it's completely normal to have a 9ft tree there.

For those of us with horrendously tasteless artificial trees, may I recommend Scentsicles? They are amazing and come in cinnamon or pine to smell like a proper real tree (although DH helpfully said "hmm...there's a fine line between tree and toilet isn't there"

So I have a lopsided pink tree that smells like a bog, basically.

Picture or it never happened.

It was you with the nightmare builder, wasn't it? I hope I've not committed yet another social faux pas by just randomly slagging off your coving for no apparent reason

Tartan carpet?! Reminds me of when DH was on building sites and they used to send the newbies to the suppliers for "tartan paint"

Oh go on then. If you look closely (if you can bear to) you can see the pine scentsicle! Eau De Toilette - literally.

That's fabulous!! I always thought if i went fake i'd go pink. May as well. When we had our astroturf outside carpet done we chose a grass look before we realised you could have pink. We were gutted. It doesn't smell of pine tho, more like cat shit as the local cats have designated it the street karzy and it doesn't get washed away or disappear into the ground.

Ha - no, it wasn't my nightmare builders which did it. We bought the house like that. i've got used to it now tho.

I am hoping for another year when we stay "at home" soon and we can have another real tree, as we have changed where it goes to a nice high ceilinged spot - it might finally take all our decorations at once (DH gave out he had to move 4 big plastic tubs and 2 big cardboard decoration boxes from the storage unit on Sunday - we left 2 there (Christmas teatowels and crockery type contents) and I already had the duvet set/fleece blanket/advent calendar tub at home!).

I actually HAVE given away a few bags over the past 2-3 years of decorations that we no longer use. But I need to do a proper cull - and that needs quiet time alone at home. So that will happen in about 2025 or later I think.....

Our 5' fake will be going up some time very soon - in all its mish mash of colours and styles. Including the 4 original strands of tinsel from the 1st time it went up, 5 weeks before we got married, 17 years ago!