How much of a prat am I going to look if I ask them to replace this tree?

[MrsKoala]

We ordered an xmas tree of a certain size to be delivered this morning. Yesterday i went out and when i got home a tree was outside the front door and there was a message saying they were dropping it early. The tree looked bigger than i want so i measured it and it's 2ft bigger than ordered. It wont fit in our living room. We wanted one which was floor to ceiling.

We don't have tools and things, or the time or inclination to be chopping bits off. Where we would need to chop off the top would mean it looks ridiculous and wouldn't have a 'point' anymore.

I want to call and tell them to collect it and deliver one the right size. Will i look like a twat? I understand it must be hard to find exactly the right size tree to order, but they do advertise trees by size and i'd rather a smaller one if necessary.

The 'old men always have saws' has made me roar, I do remember seeing them hanging up in sheds and gardens.

We have lots of saws, but there again we used to have a big garden with a lot of trees. Not necessarily something you'll have if you don't do DIY or gardening. Hopefully the tree can be changed or trimmed by the shop/stall although I would agree with the PP who said it will be very wide at the bottom and trimming the branches can leave an impossible-to-remove brown stain on a cream carpet voice of experience here

Marie but isn't it just a bit twattish to not have a hard surface on which to cut your tree???

Im glad your DH is impressed. I think it would be reasonably easy to prise up the floorboards and kick through the ceiling. You could probably do it with things you already have in the house.

Don't wait to buy a pruning saw in the spring, you need to do your pruning in the winter while the sap is down. [helpful]

Otoh I would bloody love to see you cut the top off, it would make my day. Are you in a bungalow or could you put the two foot excess on the 1st floor directly above the tree?

Or a year or so ago there was all the rage for 'portal' trees... would that be an option?

Bertucco - you'd actually be surprised. Dh has just said 'What about the electric saw of my mums in the garage...'

Portal tree...

Cutting the top off...OMG. It would be a thing of beauty.

dont chop 2 feet off or it will be too wide at the base. You need 1 in proportion.

That portal tree is fabulous.

Mrs Koala

I have at least a dozen saws [I even have some Japanese pull saws] but no real Christmas tree. I feel bereft.

I take it that was at MrK Derma?

What is the portal tree? I can't make it out.

Okay for you condensed i will, complete with action shots of me hacking at it with a bread knife, with my baby in the sling and my 2 and 4 year old clambering all over it, while i cry and shout and get a big red face

Fucks sake, go and buy a saw and do it tonight when they are asleep. It will take 10 minutes, honestly. Or find a man to do it for you...... ( )

MrsK

You're looking at this all wrong.

Don't chop the tree. Cut a hole in the ceiling instead, this way you'll have a mini tree upstairs as well! Aawww, so cute!

Ah, Soupy got there before me....

If you prune off the top, the sap will keep rising & ooze out all over the place - much worse than with trimming smaller branches.

Also it will look a funny shape - there won't be a point for the fairy to put up her flue sit on

Panic over. I have called and they are going to swap it. And they didn't even burst out laughing and call me a twat.

Too slow, Zing by almost exactly an hour.. :o

Or they were professional enough not to do it whillst speaking to you...

my dad did this. bought a tree on xmas eve (as is his last minute style) and got an absolute bargain on a huge tree (cos it's xmas eve!) he was utterly smug.
got the tree home and it was about 18inches too tall. he lopped the top off. it looked ridiculous!! luckily he only had to live with it a day! it looked like it was growing interesting the ceiling!
send it back, you probably have someone else's

Oh, what a shame - a really boring outcome

that's great, OP

Yeah the bastards were selfishly reasonable, apologised and said they's swap it by 6pm.

We are off out tomo for a couple of days so i wanted it sorted today. The dc are really looking forward to going to b&q.

Hope the replacement is prompt and have fun decorating it. This thread has reminded me that my husband has requested a chainsaw as a christmas present and pointed out that if he gets it early he might be able to cut one of the remaining trees out of the garden for us to use (plenty of trees in the garden, but we've had about 8 christmas trees from it in the 11 years we've been here, the last two candidates that i'd like taken out are too tall to deal with by hand ...)

Three pages and no mention of the Margot Leadbetter who is missing her tree?!

Lol at the " older men always have saws" comment.

If you don't fancy making a hole in the ceiling, you could dig a nice hole in the floor. Cut a neat circle out of the carpet, then excavate until the tree fits.