To expect a little more than 10 minutes break from this demon baby?

[hatenamechanges]

It has been a long and hard week and I think I just need to let off a bit of steam. Name changed for this because it's potentially quite identifying.

So, DD (8 months) seems to have begun yet another difficult phase (teething, leap, growth spurt, demon possession...who knows) and OH has had three late nights at work in a row.

While I accept that late nights are part and parcel of his job (department head at local secondary) I think tonight he took the piss. Massively.

DD has been a vile little beast for the majority of the day and was refusing to have her usual cat nap as he came home. Long story short: he held her for 10 minutes, then proceeded to go off and prat around getting ready (it's his works Christmas meal) for 40/50 minutes leaving me to organise bath and bed time. Literally, not one offer of help.

I know that sounds a bit unreasonable and pathetic. However he didn't get home until after bedtime on weds and was only at home for an hour yesterday before going back to school for a few hours so he's barely seen either of us since Tuesday. On top of all this, I'm taking DD away next week with my mum AND we are out all day without DD tomorrow.

He knows how stressed I have been with her this week and I'm just a bit frustrated that he didn't bother to offer me a bit of a break this evening. Fucking Christmas meal isn't even that bloody important. Not when he's been going on about how much he'll miss us both next week.

Anyway, congratulations if you made it to the end. Sorry to be a moany bitch. AIBU to expect him to put me/DD before a stupid Christmas meal?

The Christmas meal might be a bit of an exception as it's once a year. But you sound utterly fed up and tired and understandably so. Does he normally pull his weight fairly with DD?

I think YANBU OP but only because I know exactly how you feel - I have my own 10 month demon and DH works 6 out of 7 days and I just need a break from it!

Welcome to motherhood! I was on own with twins from when they were 4 days old to about a year before bloke realised he was a father which meant helping out. Do what works got up but he started pulling his weight when I told him I had learned to cope in my own!
But 4 days if he is usually good is harsh

I think the work meals are important..

I am sorry you have had a rubbish week.. but yes I think it is unreasonable to expect him not to go..

The first year of a babies life is exhausting and relentless. It really does get better though

50 minutes to get ready? Yanbu.
Takes 10 mins to change then 40 mins to hold baby while you relax.

Some days you are allowed to be unreasonable and this qualifies. No one who hasn't spent hours alone with a teething baby can understand the craving for solitude and peace you feel by the time you'd IP walks through the door.

Temporary he is usually very good. I think that's why I'm so irritated, just too used to having at least an hour to myself before she goes to bed!!

fabulous so much respect there! I think I'd crack just having twins, never mind alone!

starlight not expecting him to not go, just stay at home a little longer before going back out again.

YANBU, I need my husband to come to the rescue when he comes home pretty much every day (two clingy non sleeping DC) and bedtime is often a time when it's useful to have another pair of hands.

I had a demon baby. She had colic and screamed for most of the day. Even after colief helped with that she was high needs and demanding. She ended up being an easy toddler though. When other people were tearing their hair out with the terrible twos, I had this happy, serene, gorgeous little girl. Now she is 5 she is absolutely adorable. She sleeps in on a weekend until 8.30am. I promise you, it will get batter. I can't help with the husband thing - it's so hard when you are at home and the baby is difficult. I lost the plot on many an occasion and dh being home ten minutes after he said he would be made me want to kill him. (Anyone who has spent an entire day attempting to feed a colicky baby, trying to get her to sleep but mostly just bouncing her in your arms whilst you walk backwards and forwards because putting her down results in chaos, can tell me IABU buy they won't because they know the hell I've lived through). It's hard to be rational when you are at your wits end. It won't last forever though. I promise.

I sympathise. My baby is a demon too, and some days I feel like I just watch the clock all day waiting for dh to get home so I can have half an hour before the nightmare of the bedtime 'routine' begins. When he's late it's very depressing. And I feel guilty for wishing these baby days away.

Thanks everyone. You actually will not believe this just happened:

Woke up.
Me: what the fuck are you doing?
Him: having a wee.
Me: in the WARDROBE??????
Him: okay.

WTAF? He doesn't even seem bothered? He just brushed a towel over the floor and got back into bed. Currently in the only other spare bed in baby's room while he makes some attempt at cleaning it properly.

I know tomorrow I will find this funny. Well, maybe by Monday I will. Is this far too embarrassing to share with people we know?

Use it as blackmail material- if he has dd for a whole day and gives you peace the you won't breathe a word

Repeat as necessary

Just yuck. I'd haul him out of bed and have him clean it properly.

Oh dear. Imwouldnt findnit funny at all. My daughter weed in her wardrobe when a toddler. The smell lingers...

I have an 8 month old too. Yanbu. I want to kill my husband sometimes when works late butstillhastimetosend--wittysnapchats

Well that was a fail. You get the picture though

He must be hammered. He'll be mortified tomorrow. I hope your planned day out tomorrow (today!) isn't too strenuous or involves an early start or loud noises

He will be needing a nice early shower and some quality time with dd tomorrow.

After he has scrubbed out the wardrobe. Filthy fucker.

I have to state here that no baby is a demon baby unless the following has been observed ...

1. a priest has been defenestrated in the near vicinity.
2. a pair of black dogs have ravaged a nun.

Until that point, please fill in the "suspicious occurrences" form at your local church, which will require the following ...

1. proof of identity. This maybe a driving license or passport.
2. proof of address. This may be a gas or council tax bill.
3. proof of commitment to the church. You will need a certificate of attendance for this requirement. Alternatively, you may give a sizeable donation to the repair of the church roof.

If you are unable to fulfill these requirements, then you need form EX/DEM/666, whereby you agree to bequeath all your rose bushes to the Holy See, including any tortoises therein, for the labour of exorcising your innocent, which may also include the following: nine portions of fish and chips, one measure of holy water from Lourdes, two copies of the King James Bible (specifically bound in onion skin), a length of fine russet velvet, a pinch of snuff, a fine iron pan, a sizeable moon of mozzarella, three ounces of greek tarama, a clipped gold dinar and a reservation at La Tante Claire.

If you cannot supply such quantifications, the following will act as substitutes: a piece of carved Whitby jet, a jeelied eel from a pie mash shop in Deptford, a single brown English shrimp, or a copy of The Spectator from 1978.

Until such a point as we have the full documentation to assess such a case, we have to inform you that your child can not be considered "demon".

Oh dear OP. He really needs to pull his socks up.

In your shoes I'd give him a cup of tea in the morning and wait til the hangover subsides before reviewing his behaviour this week and putting him in special measures.

Actually that's not true. In your shoes I'd lose the plot, but I suspect the above course of action would be more fruitful.

My husband would be sleeping on the lawn if he came home and did that. I think it was fine to go out, but he could have had one drink and not stayed too late.

Yanbu. That's hideous. When is your zero parenting week?

Unfortunately the job demands are part of that role- DH did exactly the same job when DS was a baby. The rest of it though- YANBU!

Meal-fine, but 15 mins is enough time to get ready.
Getting that drunk- not fine. I'd be planning a full day of activity today- shopping, queue for Santa, soft play for him to enjoy with you both. After all he'll miss you next week so will want to make the most of he weekend....
Oh and those clothes he pissed on will need washing and the wardrobe scrubbing before you all go out at 9am. (What is it with all these blokes who piss in wardrobes- I've obviously been lucky with the blokes I've chosen to get drunk with!)