To expect a little more than 10 minutes break from this demon baby?

[hatenamechanges]

It has been a long and hard week and I think I just need to let off a bit of steam. Name changed for this because it's potentially quite identifying.

So, DD (8 months) seems to have begun yet another difficult phase (teething, leap, growth spurt, demon possession...who knows) and OH has had three late nights at work in a row.

While I accept that late nights are part and parcel of his job (department head at local secondary) I think tonight he took the piss. Massively.

DD has been a vile little beast for the majority of the day and was refusing to have her usual cat nap as he came home. Long story short: he held her for 10 minutes, then proceeded to go off and prat around getting ready (it's his works Christmas meal) for 40/50 minutes leaving me to organise bath and bed time. Literally, not one offer of help.

I know that sounds a bit unreasonable and pathetic. However he didn't get home until after bedtime on weds and was only at home for an hour yesterday before going back to school for a few hours so he's barely seen either of us since Tuesday. On top of all this, I'm taking DD away next week with my mum AND we are out all day without DD tomorrow.

He knows how stressed I have been with her this week and I'm just a bit frustrated that he didn't bother to offer me a bit of a break this evening. Fucking Christmas meal isn't even that bloody important. Not when he's been going on about how much he'll miss us both next week.

Anyway, congratulations if you made it to the end. Sorry to be a moany bitch. AIBU to expect him to put me/DD before a stupid Christmas meal?

What queen says. He's had his fun. Time for family fun today. If I were you I'd pop out for an hour and lounge in the bath for an hour too.

That is foul. What is most irritating is he must clear it up, in which time you'll be doing the childcare.

The reason he behaves like this (spending 50 mins getting ready) is that he either has no idea how hard it is being at home with baby so he needs to do it to start learning
or/ he does know but avoids it by pulling stunts like that, in which case he's a knob.

I too have my own demon baby and boisterous toddler, it can be hard and i sympathise. I've been up all week at 3/4/5 am juggling myself between the two

As a department head should he really be getting that drunk

Omg, I feel your peeing-in-wardrobe pain!! My usually wonderful DH has done this several times when absolutely hammered - once at uni (his room, his problem), once at a hotel (luckily?!) and once at my BROTHER'S (I went spare !!!). We do laugh about it now but I am pregnant and if he does that while I have a baby playing havoc, he will be on his knees scrubbing out that wardrobe with a toothbrush. Have no mercy!!!

And YANBU

I don't think he was unreasonable to go to his Christmas do on time. It sounds like you both have a lot of stress and hard work on your plates. I do think he was unreasonable to come in so drunk he pissed in the wardrobe

Quick update as I am now demon free (at her grandparents for the day) and we are en route to what was supposed to be a relaxing lunch and show up in London.

After a very uncomfortable night on the spare bed, cuddled up with rolls of wrapping paper and DDs toys, I'm still feeling quite frosty towards him.

He's had a mega ear bashing this morning and is quite remorseful. I was more annoyed about him going out (after telling him it was so bad yesterday that I had a cry) without offering me a little break and the subsequent lack of apology.

He seemed to think that giving the wardrobe a quick wipe with a towel was sufficient enough and his excuse for it was that he was asleep and hadn't had that much to drink. The fact that I can smell the alcohol still says different.
He did eventually give it a more thorough clean but will probably be doing it again tomorrow when I've time to have a look at it.

Oh and he's lost his wallet so I'm paying for lunch and drinks today.

Werkz

Seriously though getting that drunk on a work do and losing your wallet?? Isn't he worried about Monday morning!

Ooooh bad idea to get that drunk at work Christmas party

I don't have a demon baby (for now) but my DH works stupid hours which means in the week I'm on my own with DD all day from getting up to bedtime. It does drive you a bit nuts after a while, having to do everything.

As a teacher I guess he can take on the lions share once he's on Christmas hols?

Glad you have a day off today anyway!