Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this stingy?

139 replies

baconandeggies · 02/12/2016 14:53

Grandma receives a free Confused.com robot in the post as she used the website for taking out home insurance.

A week or so later she wraps it up and gives it to her 7 yo granddaughter for her birthday.

Granddaughter is easily pleased - it says things when you press a button and it goes forwards after you pull it backwards.

Parents are bemused but decide to say nothing as daughter is happy. GM enquires as to whether she liked it and what it does.

GM has often been described as tight - has no money worries.

AIBU for thinking the gift was a bit stingy? Or are we ungrateful?

OP posts:
Wingdingingit · 04/12/2016 17:55

It's mean spirited given that she has no money issues, she didnt even open it herself to check it worked or was suitable.
Find a free gift, wrap it and give it to her for Christmas. No card. Make sure she knows its a freebie. At 57 she's hardly at dotty old grandma age.

junebirthdaygirl · 04/12/2016 18:23

I don't think it's good for a child to always only get things on their list as it limits their experiences. Love mad random gifts that might turn out to be a child's favourite. How are they going to know if they like something if they are not exposed to it. I'm on the grandmas side. At least you're dd got to try out a robot and she will get her wish list from you.
I have seen my own dcs have great fun with a toy that they would never have asked for and l would never have bought. Usually bought by a careless uncle grabbing something at the last minute. Every present doesn't have to be thoughtfully dwelt on. Cheap, free whatever it could be fun.

blinkineckmum · 04/12/2016 18:27

Why oh why oh why do we have to spend money for the sake of it? Consumerism gone mad! Why is an expensive present better than an inexpensive one? It sounds like a great present, and she sounds like a great grandma.

GabsAlot · 04/12/2016 18:38

everyone knows theyre free i think thats the point theres just no thought or effort gone into it

Marylou2 · 04/12/2016 19:20

YANBU. Why should your daughter be given free marketing tat as a birthday Present? Very stingy indeed.

winterisnigh · 04/12/2016 19:28

Op wealthy aunt gave DD the meerkat for bday, now - if they were normally OK with fairly OK presents this wouldn't bothered me at all.

DD loved the Meerkat, it was sweet. However as I know it pains her to spend money, it pains her to spend it on DC ( she doesn't have any) in this context it didn't make me feel good. It just felt that they were thrilled they were able to give a gift they didn't have to actually pay extra for. Its tight.

Other aunt is the same gave DD free fox that came with something and pencils from a flight? Again, if this was all in the context of generally normal sweet gifts - by that I mean sticker books, hair clips a small in expensive doll, it wouldn't bother me, but again knowing this aunt hates to spend money it makes me feel sad for DD. This same aunt gave DD as a 9 month old baby a compact mirror - clearly re gifted Confused

Both aunts ( different sides of family one dh, one mine) are however the stingiest people I have ever known.

winterisnigh · 04/12/2016 19:29

( meerkat that comes free with compare the market )

busyrascal · 04/12/2016 19:31

Dd2 got the exact same toy in her stocking last year. She still loves it.

One of his lines is "Winner winner, chicken dinner!" What's not to love? Grin

winterisnigh · 04/12/2016 19:31

Why oh why oh why do we have to spend money for the sake of it?

I totally agree and I am a huge freegler, in fact 99% of all dc toys came from F in the early days. I am huge fan of second hand, car boot, ebay etc.

But when people go out of their way to not spend on the DC all the time, every time, it starts to get a bit tedious.

AllPartOfThePlan · 04/12/2016 19:31

Yes it's stingy but the kid is happy & doesn't know it was free so meh.

TheFlyingFauxPas · 04/12/2016 19:36

They're got Brians in Home Bargains fir £1.98.

StrangeChanges · 04/12/2016 20:32

YANBU. It's just plain mean.

Just because DG paid for the insurance she didn't "pay" for the free gift. Hmm

Whatever next? Giving someone free sachets of hand cream or perfume samples that come with a magazine? Xmas Shock

Where's the thought and the care that should go into selecting a gift - that's what makes a gift special and personal irrelevant of cost.

I would have given DC the robot anyway and bought her a birthday gift.

Thingiebob · 04/12/2016 20:56

What meglet said.

Mummytotwoandchildmindertoo · 04/12/2016 21:01

I do not think YABU. I wonder how she would like to get a freebie for Christmas if the shoe was on the other foot 🎄 I would have given her the robot anyway and bought something special for her birthday

TheClaws · 05/12/2016 00:42

She gave it to her GD as she thought she might like it - it being it child's toy and all. Honestly, would you have preferred she had spent a small amount on a present - just for the fact she had 'spent' something? Why do we have to put a monetary value on gifts to make them worthwhile? What is your yardstick? £50?

I'm really disliking all the threads at the moment too about whether homemade gifts are as appreciated as bought ones. A gift is a gift. Think of those who don't receive any.

MummyMoonshadow · 05/12/2016 10:20

I don't think that there is anything wrong with gifting something that was free to you if it is a thoughtful and appropriate gift (which it may or may not be in Grandma's view in this case).

However given that the robot was still in its original postal packaging inside the giftwrap and that you can't find any associated birthday card I'd be wondering if there is something unusual going on with Grandma that you don't (yet) know about. There could be any number of reasons why she's not on top form - worries about health / money / relationships for example.

I'd ask her about the birthday card (not mentioning anything about a cheque of course) and see how the conversation goes from there...

MummyMoonshadow · 05/12/2016 10:26

Those who are saying the robot is available in the shops very cheaply, when you open your gifts on Xmas day do you consider their worth by how much they will cost in the January sales or how much they would have cost at full price when bought by someone who likes to buy things ahead to be organised? The worth is in the gift itself, no matter what it did or didn't cost.

iMogster · 05/12/2016 10:49

junebirthdaygirl Totally agree with this!

At Christmas, I ask family to get something off DCs list and to pick something randomly. Sometimes the gift we didn't think of is the biggest hit. I too think a gift is a gift. Whether it's full price, or on offer or a freebie.

Original poster
baconandeggies · 05/12/2016 11:03

What is your yardstick? £50?

My yardstick is nothing like £50 - I don't even have that kind of cash myself! It's not about being free per se. It was the fact it seems a little thoughtless, especially as it wasn't even taken out of the original postal packaging.

OP posts:
Original poster
baconandeggies · 05/12/2016 11:05

There could be any number of reasons why she's not on top form

House move - though she managed to get her own gift list to me for xmas Wink

OP posts:
cosytoaster · 05/12/2016 16:55

Whatever next? Giving someone free sachets of hand cream or perfume samples that come with a magazine? - grandma's Xmas present sorted, I'd say!

MsMommie · 05/12/2016 17:35

They're highly collectible, apparently.
But yeah, it is a lot stingy.
Maybe that's why she has no money problems, because she doesn't waste money on crap that the kids will break/ignore/lose and won't even remember half of xx

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 05/12/2016 18:09

Fair enough she's frugal with others but does she expect bought gifts herself? Would she complain or be huffy if you gave her a book that clearly says 'not for resale' on the back? If so then yes she's a tight hypocrite.

ArcheryAnnie · 05/12/2016 18:10

Does it matter if your DD likes the robot? (And it wasn't free, but included in the cost of the insurance.)

As for the DD not previously liking robots - well, you don't know if you would enjoy one until you have one.

I kind of like the idea of people giving presents not because it cost X or Y, but because it's a cool thing they have and they pass this cool thing onto someone else they think might like it.

olympicfan · 05/12/2016 18:11

My son loved the meerkats when he was little - so we kept one to give to him as part of his birthday present. He was thrilled, bless him.

He did ask for 'an email address' for his birthday when he was 8yrs old!

The same year he asked Father Christmas for £1,000,000 and reminds me to this day (he is now 15yrs) that he had to try really hard to hide his disappointment when he got a new school bag and a Bruno Mars CD instead.

Swipe left for the next trending thread