Teaching assistant gave 8-yr-old DD a book full of F-bombs

[MiniPharm]

After school yesterday 8-yr-old DD told me that the teaching assistant had given her her personal copy of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. DD said the TA had given it to her to keep and that "it has lots of rude words in". I've just looked at the copy on our bookshelves at home and indeed on Page 4 there is a "f*king" and a "f*k", plus plenty more throughout the book. TBH I can't remember that much of the story and whether it is generally suitable for an 8-yr-old. Google tells me that it is on the Suggested Reading List for Yr 8 (KS3 / age 12-13). I don't to overreact but it seems pretty inappropriate / idiotic to give an 8-year-old an adult book without checking with the parents. I personally swear like a trooper but never in front of the kids. I certainly would never allow her to write or say the f-word at home and would be very concerned if she was swearing at school. AIBU / WWYD?

It is a problem finding suitable books when children are advanced readers - books appropriate to their reading age ae often unsuitable for a whole raft of reasons.

I do not think this book is suitable for an 8 year old, not necessarily because of the swearing (which can be discussed with her) but because the rather bleak subjects covered cannot be "unread" and are too much for her at that age.

F Bomb????!

Really? How about the real world and all the unfathomable things kids experience daily? How are you planning on preventing all of that? Swear words are heard on the streets, schools, and mostly at home. It's literature, what's the worse that can happen? That she learns to think by herself? I would never deprive my kids from readying any literature, I'm more inclined to think that the TV and internet are the real bad thing, but never a book.

Trifle the only book I have ever confiscated in my secondary career is 50 shades and the like. In secondary you're doing them no favours keeping them on kiddy books.
There is sex and violence aplenty on the GCSE syllabus and earlier, and frankly since Gove's obsession with pre-1900 it's if anything ruder and more brutal.

In this case of course it's an 8 year old so entI rely different.

It's just I was surprised at regular book confiscation post 11.

Wait until she gets to the 'cunt' in one of the later chapters, OP!
I read this with Y9, and I think it's pushing it even then in terms of vocabulary, but more importantly theme. It's a difficult book when you really start to think about it.

squizita: I haven't said anything about keeping them on kiddie books. We can all only use our best judgement. Mine is that younger adolescents (Y7-8) aren't mature enough for graphic sexual or violent description. I don't confiscate every book with any sex in it but I do if it is a particularly explicit piece.

Just to reiterate in case people missed cardibach's post, curious incident does have the word 'cunt' in there, used as a very aggressive insult by a male adult stranger while Christopher is alone, and very vulnerable, on a train. I wouldn't want an 8 year old reading that - I used to teach this book to year 9 and many of those found reading it quite uncomfortable at times. Which is exactly how the reader is meant to feel. Just not suitable for an 8 year old, even a very advanced reader.

Sorry but all alarm bells start ringing in my head. A TA or any other member of school staff should know that they are not alowed to single out a child to give them a gift or personal item of theirs, to borrow or keep!!!!! This should be stated in the schools safe guarding policy, which staff have training on and sign to agree to follow the strict guidelines and requirements.
It is seen as favouritism and can be seen as grooming!
I would see the head and ask for an investigation. At least, this TA needs pulling up about this.
In this particular instant i would also be concerned with the adult content being given to a child! Xx

No not appropriate. 8 year olds don't need books with swearing in. My son had been reading miles above his age for years, and finding content for him that's appropriate is difficult. Obviously I want him to read books that challenge him but not that scare hin; give him inappropriate morals and swear words etc . I now have to scan through the books he chooses from the school library to make sure they're ok, the one he's reading bow has reviews from 14&15 year olds.
If you're not happy with it, call and speak to the teacher. They shouldn't have that available for any child to read not in a primary. And it's quite a complex book so I'm not sure she'd get it the way it should read.
I also swear like a trooper, doesn't mean I want my son to read swear words.

Pretty sure C**T is in that book too x

I don't think the issue here is really whether the book is suitable for an eight-year-old ... I think that's always going to be a subjective thing. Some parents will think it's OK. Others will be horrified by it. Also, all eight-year-olds are different and will react different to it.

I think the issue is actually that the TA did all this without the permission of the parent. If I had an eight-year-old I'd probably let them read it, but if I wanted to give it to someone else's eight-year-old I'd check with the parent first to make sure they were OK with it.

My parents didn't censor my reading at all when I was a kid. I was allowed to pick up pretty much any book I wanted, and I had an adult reading level by the time I was about 10. However, I had a few friends who I used to swap books with all the time, and there were certainly times when I said "Can I lend such-and-such-a-book to so-and-so?" and my mum said "Let's just check with so-and-so's mum first, shall we?"

To be honest I don't think TAs should be singling out their favourite kids for personal gifts at all.

Curious Incident is a work of literature. It is an absolutely brilliant account of how a boy with Asperger's sees the world. If my child wanted to read it, I would let them, no matter what their age. You could perhaps have a talk with him about the swearing in it afterwards, if you really couldn't stand it. Please don't be a Book Nazi. Who cares about the odd swear word if your child is reading great books?

My daughter was a precocious reader and I often wished that books had a guidance code, much like films. As they didn't, I would have to read the books myself first. U & PG etc would have been invaluable in our time poor world but it was nice that we could discuss the books I suppose.

Is "F bomb" really a phrase some of you use? How cutesy.
I suspect the TA had read it a few years ago and forgotten it had swearing in it.
I read it a few years ago and don't recall any swearing.
It's quite complex for an 8 year old though. I'd also be concerned at the TA giving personal presents to the kids, or some kids because they are "special".

ODFO hazell. 'Book Nazi'?

Rita Hayworth and The Shawshank Redemption is a work of literature, I wouldn't let a child read it though.

Book Nazi ?? FFS it astounds me how people can twist complacency into something to be proud of.

Exposing young children to language which is too mature for them normalises it and that is not a good thing. Exposing them to scenes of graphic violence and sex/rape is not a good thing. I am by no means a prude and I frequently swear (although not in front of the DC). That doesn't mean I want my 8/9 year old reading the word cunt and scenes of rape.

So many people nowadays just let their DC read anything and don't check it first. But it's ok of course because it's "literature" and so they can feel like they're doing right rather than failing to protect their child .

I have two voracious readers aged 11 (almost 12) and 9. DS1 has a very high reading age and people often comment on his vocabulary. There is plenty for him to read out there and he gets through at least three books a week. He is not reading A Curious Incident yet, nor is he reading Noughts and Crosses yet or even the Maze Runner books where children are burned to death. Not because he's not able to, but because it is not appropriate yet (and won't get the most out of the book).

I am also an avid reader. I am certainly not a Book Nazi.

Time enough for our children to be exposed to words like "cunt" in later life.

trifle you would've died when I rocked up to school age 8 with nightmare on elmstreet as my reading book then!

YoScienceBitch: Never read it

YoScienceBitch: Love the user name - magnets!

Curious Incident is a work of literature. It is an absolutely brilliant account of how a boy with Asperger's sees the world. If my child wanted to read it, I would let them, no matter what their age.

I would probably let my own child read it too, Hazell42 (if I had a child)... but I also think I would want be the one to make that decision.

If I was buying it for someone else's eight-year-old, I'd check with the parent first. Not because I think there's anything wrong with a child reading the book, but just out of courtesy to the parent.

To be honest I don't think I'd really like a TA giving personal gifts to selected children in a class anyway. It seems a bit odd to be allowed to single out their favourites like that and give them presents.

Oh for goodness sake, what is all his fuss about the bloody f word? Your dd will certainly my have heard it in the playground. Let the girl read the book! It is an amazing, illuminating, funny, moving and very human book. If she is ready to read it, let her. Even if she isn't ready to understand all the nuances, still let her. Don't stifle and limit her because of some ridiculous hang up on a 'rude' word. FFS. I wish there were more TAs like that one.

It isn't just the f word though. It's also "cunt"

It simply isn't appropriate for an 8 year old.

Unlikely an 8 YO will have heard the word cunt