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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teaching assistant gave 8-yr-old DD a book full of F-bombs

148 replies

MiniPharm · 02/12/2016 09:02

After school yesterday 8-yr-old DD told me that the teaching assistant had given her her personal copy of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. DD said the TA had given it to her to keep and that "it has lots of rude words in". I've just looked at the copy on our bookshelves at home and indeed on Page 4 there is a "f*king" and a "f*k", plus plenty more throughout the book. TBH I can't remember that much of the story and whether it is generally suitable for an 8-yr-old. Google tells me that it is on the Suggested Reading List for Yr 8 (KS3 / age 12-13). I don't to overreact but it seems pretty inappropriate / idiotic to give an 8-year-old an adult book without checking with the parents. I personally swear like a trooper but never in front of the kids. I certainly would never allow her to write or say the f-word at home and would be very concerned if she was swearing at school. AIBU / WWYD?

OP posts:
notanetter · 02/12/2016 11:10

I take books off kids I teach (secondary) all the time that are full of sex and profanity. Usually these have been given by the parents, who have made the same mistake.

That was your initial post, trifle - my emphasis. And the textual evidence at this point clearly indicates that you consider giving Curious Incident to an 8-year-old to come under the same category as giving older children the kinds of books you claim routinely to confiscate from them, of which all I know is that they are "full of sex and profanity". Which could describe Noughts and Crosses.

But yes, I think we are probably largely on the same page. Smile

user1471545174 · 02/12/2016 11:13

YANBU OP.

It's entirely unsuitable for an 8 year old, a high reading age doesn't connote emotional maturity (mine was similar to your DD's).

I'd take it up politely with the TA first though rather than go to the teacher.

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 11:15

notanetter: You are misreading me. I meant the mistake of believing a book to be suitable without necessarily reading it.

notanetter · 02/12/2016 11:16

Incidentally, surveys repeatedly show that when it comes to reading choices at KS3/4, children are far more likely to select titles that are emotionally and textually below the level that's appropriate for them than the reverse; it's something the NLT, amongst other organisations, is keen to tackle.

notanetter · 02/12/2016 11:17

But that's almost certainly not what happened in the OP's scenario, trifle. My reading may not be what you intended, and I'm happy to adjust it in the light of subsequent information given; but as an expert, you must admit, it's a fair one, given the evidence at that point....

notanetter · 02/12/2016 11:22

(Where's a 'dog with a bone' emoji when you need it?)

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 11:23

notanetter: Okay, but we basically agree.

notanetter · 02/12/2016 11:27
Flowers Wine
CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 02/12/2016 11:36

Oh god. I bought the Miranda Sing book for dd for Christmas. 😲Thanks for the warning tatterd.

JaneAustinAllegro · 02/12/2016 11:38

I'd say the content is too old for your daughter. I have similar issues with a 9 yr old advanced reader with a very "sensitive" disposition - she's reading a lot of classics (Pollyanna, What Katy Did, whole series of Anne of Green Gables, LIttle Women) which are challenging in terms of vocab and language, but non contentious content. She also just finished a lynn Gardner mystery book "Rose Campion" which she said is the best thing she's ever read (the last best thing was Pollyanna which she read immediately beforehand!)

Katy07 · 02/12/2016 11:47

I thought it was an awful book - the father murders the dog ffs! I didn't even notice the swearing...

Original poster
MiniPharm · 02/12/2016 11:53

Thanks for all your comments. In the meantime I have discussed with DH and it turns out that he had already considered reading it with DD but after looking at the book decided to wait another year or so. So I think I will talk to the TA after school today, thank her for sharing the book with DD, but say that we would rather read it with DD, at home, in due course. Having been reminded here of the various issues contained in the book I'd definitely rather read the book with DD at bedtime, with a chance for discussion, than having her sat at her school desk reading it on her own. I do think the TA was fucking stupid ill-advised, albeit well-intentioned, as clearly other parents would be taking a much harder line about this than I intend to!

OP posts:
PerpetualStudent · 02/12/2016 11:55

Trifle I've read this whole thread hoping you would qualify whether you would confiscate Forever by Judy Blume?! It was in my school library, and a bit of a revelation when I stumbled across it at 15...

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 12:00

PerpetualStudent: I didn't even mention that book. Confused I certainly didn't say I had confiscated it. I haven't read it.

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 12:03

Perpetual: I get what you mean, you want me to say whether or not I would confiscate it? Honestly, I don't know as I haven't read it.

RockyTop · 02/12/2016 13:06

There are two versions of The Curious Incident, the regular (adult?) version and an edited one for children, I would assume this one has the swearing removed. Would imagine maybe the person who gave it to her hasn't realised and has given her the full version maybe?

Dawndonnaagain · 02/12/2016 13:54

I find it depressing that so many people loved the curious incident. Christopher Boone is a cardboard cutout with a few Aspie traits pasted upon him. It's playing with the unreliable narrator trope and in my opinion is badly written. It certainly isn't Literature.

BratFarrarsPony · 02/12/2016 13:57

Dont worry Dawn, I for one thought it was rubbish and unreadable. And I have read A LOT (English lit degree).
The unreliable narrator thing has been done to death hasnt it?

insan1tyscartching · 02/12/2016 14:41

Having dc with autism I found the character really flawed too Dawn. Ds's Maths teacher gave my NT ds a copy as she felt the character explained ds's geekiness Hmm She took it back quick smart when I enlightened her to our family's experience of ASD, why the central character wasn't a good representation of Aspergers and why i had no concerns regarding ds possibly being on the spectrum but if I did I'd ask a health professional rather than a Maths teacher.

Haffdonga · 02/12/2016 14:49

As PP pointed out - there is a children's version of this book with F bombs removed. I'd be approaching the school and expressing surprise that they don't have the most appropriate version for their readers.

Dawndonnaagain · 02/12/2016 15:03

Oh thank goodness! Brat and Insan1ty. Flowers

I too have an AS diagnosis and three of my four children have a diagnosis.

fruityb · 02/12/2016 15:53

I'd recommend A Boy Made of Blocks - though more for adults.

haveacupoftea · 02/12/2016 15:57

Yeah its a bit weird.

Footle · 02/12/2016 16:43

Hans Christian Andersen ? Have you read The Red Shoes lately ? The Steadfast Tin Soldier ? The Little Mermaid ? What twisted era and society thought those were suitable for kids ?

Trifleorbust · 02/12/2016 16:47

Footle: They have their darker elements, certainly. No zombie blow jobs though!