To not want to go along with this? (Re: Santa!)

[MrsJohanHegg]

Myself and DSis (and our respective other halves!) both have 2yo DSs. We're both on the same page re: Santa - that he brings the stockings and one present. It works for us, it's what our mum did, DC learn that they can't just ask Santa for umpty-million expensive things etc. So when I put my tree up, I popped some wrapped presents underneath to hide the cheap wonky base to look pleasant and festive.

Well I've just had an earful from SiL as she popped by with our older nephew (6) who is now asking why we had presents under our tree when Santa brings them etc. Apparently in their house Santa brings all the presents. I told her to tell him they're just for show if it's an issue, and thought all was fine, but she later told DH that they also tell him that Santa brings all the presents from other people too!

So literally they'll visit his various grandparents, aunts etc and they'll pull out a present and say "Oh, Santa left this here for you - he must have gotten confused!" and it's expected that when we see him on Boxing Day and give him his gift we're expected to do the same when we give him his gift.

AIBU to think that this is completely fucking batshit a bit OTT/ridiculous and not want to go along with it? Why can't it just be a nice gift from us, his aunt and uncle?? I don't bloody want to say it's from Santa, I want the credit

YANBU. It doesn't sound right to me for them not to tell him he gets any gifts from family because that's missing out one of the big traditions of Christmas and he won't be grateful to the people who bought him gifts. I remember my parents told me that relatives had specifically asked Santa to bring me certain gifts so I would be grateful to them while still believing. IMHO if he's missing out on exchanging gifts with family and expressing gratitude he's missing out on a pretty big part of the Christmas spirit. Santa is just a nice story that's supposed to illustrate those values of giving and gratitude, not replace them. Also if he thinks all presents are from Santa and not from family then he won't understand why some of his classmates have less presents as their family can't afford them and might think they don't get the same amount from Santa as he does because they've not been good enough. Anyway your SIL shouldn't dictate what you do at your house. Her son is bound to see wrapped presents before Christmas somewhere and needs to understand that people celebrate differently.

I yjjj

We do stockings and main presents from Santa, everything else is from the people who bought them. Santa checks with all the adults who's bought what from the list so you don't get duplicates (so don't cry on Christmas morning that Santa didn't bring you that doll, Nan or grandma might have bought it for you instead). We exchange presents when we see people, so Christmas lasts days for us.

Sil does everything from Santa. We don't really go along with it, we say something like "oh we knew we'd be setting you today so it seemed silly to waste Santa's time delivering our present when we could do it ourselves" and hand it over.

Raising children to think all presents come from a Santa isn't going to damage them long term. It's not as if they are going to believe in Santa long term. They will know soon enough.

Like your SIL, we tell the children that Father Christmas delivers the presents from everyone, although he only actually gives the stocking and one gift.

I think it is absolutely fine that everyone does things a bit differently, but it's a case of respecting other people's narrative and not having a hissy fit about it. DS1s Godparents always gives his present when they see him (usually a joint present for Christmas and his birthday 😡) and we just say that they were probably so busy they didn't have time to post it to FC.

The only issue has really been with MIL who we often don't see over Christmas. For our so 'S first Christmas, she wanted to see him open his presents in November and got really cross when we said that we would rather he didn't. (We also got our engagement present eight months after the event, and our wedding present three months early - just so she could see us opening them).

Once we stopped believing in Santa (still sort of do) our stockings were done by our pets. Always liked the idea of assorted cats, dogs and guineapigs going shopping for us.

I don't get this business about needing children to say thank you to you. Surely you give because want to, not so the child will know what you gave and be eternally grateful to you!

YANBU. That's just daft IMO and far too complicated/ needing far too many lies.

Who tells their kids that gifts from their relatives are from effing Father Christmas?

Question for those who Santa only does stocking and one gift. I assume you put the rest of kids presents under the tree before Christmas Eve how do you stop kids touching, opening, rattling them?

No - Christmas gifts under tree for DC appear overnight on Christmas Eve, but are clearly from Mum and Dad etc

Mine go out on Xmas eve along with Santa's (in different wrapping of course!) Now that my DCs are older I'm considering putting them under the tree as I wrap my 10 yo DD would still be shaking, poking and sniffing them so maybe I have to wait a year or twelve!

My DB did this with his DCs one year, we all arrived and he ushered us quickly into the kitchen with our bags of gifts and took them off us as Santa had to deliver them all. I don't know if we were ever given credit for them or whether they were all from Santa, but the next year I think he realised it was a daft way to do things and we all gave gifts directly after dinner.

My sil did everything from Santa and we did stocking only from Santa. We handed over presents saying this one is for Edward and didn't mention who it was from, my sil did the same and so did all my other inlaws. I don't think the kids really cared who they were from and before you know it they stop believing in Santa anyway. I'm a reasonable person and so is my sil and we managed our differentire methods with no drama.

I think we should have a referendum to decide how Santa is done in the UK.

We have the exact same problem. Dil and Mil both do that "Santa left this for you at my house because he knew we were coming here". I've asked them to stop as we do the santa fills the stocking thing and it would confuse my DDs. They also do lists which i hate as it makes the receiving the focus whereas I like to put thought into what I get for people and think the emphasis should be on the giving. The Pils have always said that when we had kids they'd respect our traditions so I couldn't stand the fact they continued with the Santa thing last year even though I already explained our thing. Wonder what they'll do this year 🙄

I don't put Christmas presents under the tree before Christmas Eve precisely because the younger one would be at them.
But also because it's my tradition, as it was my parents', to stay up until ridiculous o'clock on Christmas Eve, wrapping the presents, drinking the port that Santa's rather keen on, eating the mince pie, nibbling the carrot and splashing the water about a bit. I do it by myself because DH wouldn't dream of helping - he's in bed by 9 anyway - but I quite enjoy it!

Kids put any gifts they are giving under the tree during the day on Christmas Eve.
We put all the presents to the children under the tree once they are in bed on Christmas Eve. They wake up to stockings and Santa presents by their beds, then creep down stairs to all the presents under the tree and the tree lights sparkling (use a timer)

I also wait until they have gone to bed on Christmas Eve and then put the presents out - they can't go out before then or the bloody dogs would open them never mind the hell cats or children

hideous greed fest

OH insisted that all gifts from us were in fact from FC. As they got older he had to come up with ever more convoluted explanations as to all the ins and outs. So now they thank OH for having the money to buy the presents and working things out with FC, I get no thanks, funny that. Then we accidently left a pile of early bought bargains main gifts on the sofa and the DC saw them, they didn't touch them and came and told us. OH has tried to cover this up with more lies when the youngest, 5 yrs old, asked if FC is real. I have since accidently shown them other presents, DS2 asked what it was, I said nothing and hid it, 'Is it for xmas Mummy, why did you sigh?'. It makes everything so complicated, if they see the gifts I've bought their relatives and them they will wonder why the same presents come from FC and their parents. I also order a lot from China, you have to order 2 months in advance to be sure of arrival, dc haven't done their lists yet. I can't follow all the lies OH has told. I hate lying to the DC. Could have all been avoided if we had done stockings from FC and other presents from us. Bah humbug. Kids don't even want much they've seen we've bought the one thing they really want . FC is over, they are 5 & 7

changeymcchangeface I'm 25 and still shake, sniff and squeeze presents to try and guess what's in them

All presents go out on Christmas Eve here. They can't go out before thanks to the toddlers (2 and 1)

That's madness. I total agree with you op. Santa only brought 1 or 2 if small thing and the family gave the rest when I was a child and we do the same for our DS and I like it that way. And we only give 1-2 presents ourselves as he gets so much from the family

"All our presents were labelled from the people they were from, including the ones my parents brought. We were told that family and friends buy the presents, send them to Santa and he will deliver them if we've been good."

HelenaWay this is what we told our children too. It meant that they would write alst, we would see what we could afford, what we were willing to actually buy (some of it was complete rubbish) and let other family members know what the kids really wanted. Our girls never grew up thinking that they could ask for ridiculously expensive things because Father Christmas would just magic them up. WE now have two very well-adjusted, not spoilt teenagers who understand the value of money and that people have spent their hard-earned money and time on their gifts.

I totally get that people shouldn't be denied the pleasure of seeing their presents opened but I'm amazed how many of you want the 'credit' The kids will figure it out soon enough, they only believe for a few years! I'm happy to let Santa take the credit for now

So glad my kids are older and all this bullshit is over, I used to hide presents and paper, had to make sure Santa didnt have the same paper as us! People bought over presents plus Santa bought some and some were from us. I visited Santas offices and told them what they wanted, it was up to him whether they got them or not. My mums presents and ours appeared on Xmas morning, while my inlaws brought theirs over, we had ours delivered by Santa but others didnt. What a effing Palaver!! 😱