To not want to go along with this? (Re: Santa!)

[MrsJohanHegg]

Myself and DSis (and our respective other halves!) both have 2yo DSs. We're both on the same page re: Santa - that he brings the stockings and one present. It works for us, it's what our mum did, DC learn that they can't just ask Santa for umpty-million expensive things etc. So when I put my tree up, I popped some wrapped presents underneath to hide the cheap wonky base to look pleasant and festive.

Well I've just had an earful from SiL as she popped by with our older nephew (6) who is now asking why we had presents under our tree when Santa brings them etc. Apparently in their house Santa brings all the presents. I told her to tell him they're just for show if it's an issue, and thought all was fine, but she later told DH that they also tell him that Santa brings all the presents from other people too!

So literally they'll visit his various grandparents, aunts etc and they'll pull out a present and say "Oh, Santa left this here for you - he must have gotten confused!" and it's expected that when we see him on Boxing Day and give him his gift we're expected to do the same when we give him his gift.

AIBU to think that this is completely fucking batshit a bit OTT/ridiculous and not want to go along with it? Why can't it just be a nice gift from us, his aunt and uncle?? I don't bloody want to say it's from Santa, I want the credit

They used to do that with me and it simply added to the magic. I used to think it was hilarious that Santa had left presents elsewhere by mistake. Didn't stop me growing up bitter and cynical though. Bah Humbug.

1. Wrap present in plain pale paper.

1. Write

HAPPY CHRISMAS 'NEPHEW'
WITH LOTS OF LOVE FROM
AUNTIE JOHANHEGG & UNCLE JOHANHEGG
xxxx

in large, with a Sharpie.

1. Hand gift directly to nephew so he can see it's from you before SIL has chance to hide and re-wrap 'from Santa'.

1. Retreat to kitchen/bathroom/bedroom and stifle evil cackles.

You could introduce the idea of you deciding to ask Santa for specific gifts for other people.

This way, if the person (actually) giving the gift is written on the gift tag / transporting the gift, it still can make sense in terms of Santa traditions.

Well I'm afraid I'm on your sil side. All presents in this house are brought by father Christmas even though the labels might say "auntie Jemima" and there are lots from him directly and none from us. Not just a stocking here.

I got rather cross when my in-laws wanted to save all their side of the family presents until 27th dec when we visit. No way! Father Christmas needs to deliver them! I don't want the children being given presents in person. It would ruin the magic! I've arranged to collect them on 24th instead.

The magic only lasts a short time so can't you go along with it for now? You've plenty of years for "credit" when he is older.

Santa delivers the presents, then sends mum and dad a bill in January.

He also delivers stocking presents (for everyone) including socks, knickers and a chocolate orange this is the LAW

Mrs Claus, being far more efficient, delivers new jammies for Christmas Eve in good time (usually at some in the ten days before Christmas, she doesn't bother with the whole "doing it all in one night" malarkey, she's got far more important things to do on Christmas Eve like swear at sprouts and wonder how she's going to fit everyone round the table, and is the turkey going to fit in the oven this year )

But surely your in laws would like to see your child(ren) opening up the presents they've bought on the 27th. It seems unfair to refuse them that.

If you must insist that santa delivers everything, why not just tell the kids that santa delivered some presents to grandma's house so they could open them when they see them on the 27th?

I used to babysit for a family who did this. I was 16 and saved my part time waitressing and probably babysitting money to buy the 3 kids dolls they wanted. Loaded mother ripped the tags off and told the kids Santa had accidentally left some presents outside.....I was mortified. The next year she text saying could I make sure I got the presents to her before Christmas Eve to avoid the mess I had caused last year. ridiculous.

living you might have to get more flexible. I was all ready to do the Santa thing when my DC was young but they hated the idea of Santa coming to our house. (Not surprised thinking about it, scary bearded man breaking in and the whole naughty or nice idea too) Tears and everything. We actually had to promise he wouldn't - fake phone call involved here! We said we don't mind because we like swapping presents with each other too.

Later with relatives who love the whole thing, we had to emphasise that they wanted Santa and that is their choice. But we don't see the Xmas Eve and 'he'd' been and gone!

livingthegoodlife

Tbh I'd get cross with you and either

1. Hand over small presents but keep the main one back for the 27th, or

1. Not bother buying a gift 'cause the kid won't know anyway.

Thank goodness, for a moment there I thought I might be unanimously Not Unreasonable and that simply Wouldn't Do

fourpaws that's awful! what a cow!

MilkTwoSugars love your wrapping idea it does have a tag on it. TBH I'll probably go with "we asked Santa to get this for you" to smooth it over as she's normally reasonable, honest!

My kids do know who the gifts are from and they write thank you cards individually to each person (unlike my in-laws... No idea if half the presents I send their kids even arrive )

I acknowledge i might have to get more flexible as the kids get older but they are only little at the moment.

Milk - my in-laws don't really go for small and main presents, just the one gift usually.

This is why we will never achieve PIL's dream of a log cabin Christmas. In our house Father Christmas brings the stocking and all the other presents that DH and I buy, just as it happened when we were kids. However our DN's get a stocking full of pants, socks and cheap tat and all the good presents are from their Mums and Dads.

Presents from friends and family for us are opened on after dinner if the givers are with us or on Boxing Day or when we see them after Christmas. With In laws it's a massive open fest then on Christmas morning.
Nobody is right but we all think our way is best

We do stocking and one present from Father Christmas...so this year, I put presents for other people under the tree after explaining it to 5-yr-old DS. Thought it was all fine until he came down the next morning, saw more presents and squealed "he's been! He came early!" - I felt awful! Luckily he was fine once I reminded him. It does feel crazy how convoluted we have to get about it all!

... come to think of it Santa left a present in my father's wardrobe one year, which wasn't discovered for some weeks. Silly man.

I think people get too wrapped up in the magic. I found out the truth at 4 and Christmas was always still magical for me. I still get too excited to sleep. I think slipping up here and there is kind of essential to help kids realise for themselves rather than it just being a massive reveal.

In our house Santa fills stockings. Everything under the tree is from us/others.

I have a friend who says Santa brings it all and is so scared of her dcs 'finding out' that she'sn been known to run out on xmas eve looking for some toy her dc has suddenly decided Santa must bring.

Nuts. If we must lie to our dcs then at least leave some leeway for deviation!

We do presents from DH and I for DD are from Santa, all other presents, from other relatives/friends for DD, and between DH & I and also from us to/from other family members, are acknowledged as being to and from the actual people. That way people get thanked and can present and see the presents being opened etc. and we can have presents under the tree, and I am allowed to buy and wrap presents for other people without it being a huge secret (DD is nearly 6 so a lot harder to hide stuff), but all her presents from us still appear as if by magic at midnight. She is still hugely excited about Santa and it's still all magical for her. Works for us.

I think every single Christmas present coming from Santa is just bonkers, and also prioritising the needs of the child to have a magical pretend Christmas, over any wishes or the other people in their life.

My mum, dad and uncle get their Santa sacks done by my Nana, mine and my sisters (& partners) get done by our mum, and my cousins get their Santa sacks done by my uncle. These are the only gifts from Santa, the rest we exchange ourselves, and always write thank you letters (which are given to us by Santa!). My mum has gone slightly crazy this year though, and bought Santa sacks for all of the cats. So this is my first year of being 'santa' shes getting so spoilt!

Santa does stockings.
People do presents.

Thats what my ILs did with dh and bil. Totally weird. What about thank you notes and gratitude etc?!

Santa brings bits and pieces and a couple of toys. Big present from us. Everything else is from who it is from.

MIL and I had a bit of a thing dd's first two xmas's because of this. It was my turn to be santa in my mind and she was butting in, to her, everyone was santa. V confusing.

Give SIL the present in advance. End of.

Exactly Yello I had no idea anyone did it any differently bunch of weirdos

When dd1 was 5 we spent our first Xmas in England with the ILs. I told them I couldn't understand the Santa present thing of Santa bringing presents from other people and how could our dd who had been raised to think Santa brought a present on Christmas eve. Thankfully they dropped it. 5 years on and I still don't understand it. To me it is really clear cut. Santa brings a present and stocking. Everything else is from the person who wrote their name on the card.

There is no way on earth my Mum would have given the credit for our gifts to Father Christmas. He bought us one gift and everything else was from whoever actually bought it. This is the approach I take with my children. I do not understand why people make it so complicated! We still have the element of magic but this way can manage expectations and cover any slips that occur if presents get spotted before the big day. I do conceal all the presents until Christmas morning so the fact they have all arrived is also part of the magic xx