To not want to go along with this? (Re: Santa!)

[MrsJohanHegg]

Myself and DSis (and our respective other halves!) both have 2yo DSs. We're both on the same page re: Santa - that he brings the stockings and one present. It works for us, it's what our mum did, DC learn that they can't just ask Santa for umpty-million expensive things etc. So when I put my tree up, I popped some wrapped presents underneath to hide the cheap wonky base to look pleasant and festive.

Well I've just had an earful from SiL as she popped by with our older nephew (6) who is now asking why we had presents under our tree when Santa brings them etc. Apparently in their house Santa brings all the presents. I told her to tell him they're just for show if it's an issue, and thought all was fine, but she later told DH that they also tell him that Santa brings all the presents from other people too!

So literally they'll visit his various grandparents, aunts etc and they'll pull out a present and say "Oh, Santa left this here for you - he must have gotten confused!" and it's expected that when we see him on Boxing Day and give him his gift we're expected to do the same when we give him his gift.

AIBU to think that this is completely fucking batshit a bit OTT/ridiculous and not want to go along with it? Why can't it just be a nice gift from us, his aunt and uncle?? I don't bloody want to say it's from Santa, I want the credit

Wow. Santa brings gs 3 presents each here. The rest are from me, their dad and other family. Giving them all from santa is asking for trouble.

I think it's a selfish thing to not let the people who have chosen and bought gifts for your DC to see them open them and to thank them and appreciate that they have been given a gift by them.

Father Christmas can have the credit for however many gifts you choose in your own home to accredit to him. But you don't get to take that away from other people. I'd be really cross if my DSis wanted to come and pick up the gifts I'd thoughtfully bought so that they could pretend that FC had given them.

If nothing else, why can't your DC know that on the 27th, only 2 days later, that they will be getting more gifts. As a child I got FC and parent presents on Christmas morning. Presents from my Dad's side of the family on Christmas afternoon then presents from my Mum's side of the family on Boxing Day.

My own DC have gifts from us/FC Christmas morning, my family on Christmas afternoon and then from DH's family on the 27th or 28th as his Mum goes away for Christmas. I'd never dream of being rude enough to demand that she handed over the gifts early and then pretend that they weren't from her.

Your SIL idea is barmy, for all kinds of reasons

Santa brings ours little presents for stocking and one thing they have asked for . Anything else comes from us /the gift giver.

However I think it is courteous to respect their way of doing Christmas too, so it would be nice if you could find a compromise like avoid them all winter

Santa brings the main presents here chosen from the list the DCs write. The elves fill the stockings with surprises and DGPs send their presents...all of which prompted DD to ask what we, her parents, were going to get her for Christmas!

YABU for having wrapped presents under your tree on the bloody second of December

Surely by Christmas your DC will have shaken and squeezed them all, ripped a hole and taped them back up?

But no, Santa does stockings and the rest come from whoever bought them. How else do you thank people?

in our house main gift from us and everything else from Santa. Gifts bought by other people are from that person.

However my DM always liked to have a small thing from Santa at her house as well as her proper gift to them. She said that Santa has left a little extra thing here as he knows how much Grannys like to see their grandchildren smile. It was harmless and the kids loved it.

To do absolutely everything from Santa including gifts from other people is way over the top though. Her DS will see through that very soon and the magic will be gone.

all of which prompted DD to ask what we, her parents, were going to get her for Christmas! which is exactly why the main present came from us after the age of 4/5.

DSs are 16 and 15 now - we've come full circle and now everything comes in a big sack from Santa again :o

Oh do I sympathise with you OP. I'm with you but my DSis is like your DSil. She even takes the gift tags off my presents to her DSs!

Your DSis is BATSHIT 😂 and even if she wasn't, she doesn't get to tell you how Santa works.

Firstly, I'd be telling her not to have a go at my DH & to stop 'sending messages' via him.

Then tell her how YOU are doing Santa...tell her she's welcome to do it the same or her own way, but THIS is how YOU are doing it.

Here, Santa fills stockings & brings a few presents. At least one of the things they 'really really really wanted on their list'. Parents give them some & other people very much get the credit for theirs.

We have presents from gps, other family members and friends and then presents from Santa but we tell the children that we have to give money to Santa to help pay for the presents....it wasn't a particularly well thought out concept to be honest but they're young and believe any old crap

My parents and family always said every present came from Father Christmas.. I never queried it..
I then did the same for ds1.. however exmil always brought her gifts round Xmas morning and said they were from her.. this used to really irritate me.. (it didn't take much for her to irritate me)
with ds2 (7yr age gap between DC) Santa brought the main present and other gifts were from every one else. I now feel bad that I used to insist exmil leave presents for ds1 to open in the morning when she didn't get to watch.

My parents and their families way was such hard work.. I wish I'd only done 1 present from fc and the rest from every one else.. but now they know (ds1 is 18 and ds2 is 10!) it's so much easier and ds2 knows not to ask for expensive ridiculous things that I cannot afford.

All these different variations are fine but those of you who say Santa sends Mum and Dad an invoice or worse still has some kind of Direct Debit set up, that's bonkers. Where's the magic in that ???

Op I definitely think you should refuse to go along with it because it makes Santa sound incompetent bringing the wrong presents to the wrong houses etc.

Why is it relevant that myself and DSis are on the same page, which happens to be a different one to DSil?
Do you gang up on her together

No crunched, they don't know and never see each other, but what a lovely conclusion to jump to it had come up in hats between me and DSis previously but never come up with DSiL til now!

Come up in chats, not hats, obviously...

YABU, it's their way of doing it and you should respect that.
All presents came from FC here when dc were little.
it was lovely when they got older finding out which relative had bought something special to them.
I don't expect others to do the same, it's each to their own, I wouldn't do it your way as that's not what we wanted to do.

You are not being unreasonable. That is completely fucking batshit. Some of my family used to make the gifts which took weeks and weeks. Why would Santa or the elves get the credit for that?

I haven't read all, but it makes me so sad to think that Santa gets credit for all the gifts. I also think it will make kids believe in Santa for only a few years as why is there all the marketing otherwise? And YY to poster who mentions thank you notes and gratitude. Logistically, what a nightmare having to rush ahead everywhere and warn people. I think if my DSs told me this then I'd say the gifts were going to the local foodbank where theyd be appreciated and I'd be thanked.

Also, the kids will find out that other people's aunties and grandparents give them things and wonder why their aunties and grandparents don't give them stuff and feel unloved. Mindfield!

YANBU.

When I was a teenager, I went to my aunt's house for Christmas and my cousin (who was 5 or 6) looked at the label on a present and said "so, how is it from Auntie WyfsMum and Father Christmas?" before that, I had never realised that people did anything different than stocking from Santa, other presents from real people.

Okay, reading the thread now and CharleyDavidson has said what I was trying to say butwasto-flabergasted much more eloquently.

Bat-fucking-shit. So all presents are from Santa?? If this was a situation I found myself in I would personally hand dear nephew his present from auntie and uncle and batshit SIL would just have to suck it up. In fact if there were to be drama and control-freakery over this I would be disinclined to buy any gift at all seeing that Santa is taking the credit for it anyway.

In our house we do stockings from Santa which follows 4 rules something you want (from the ubiquitous Santa list) something you need something to eat and something to read.

This gets round the paying Santa issue as the elves can pretty much sort all this and also solves the issue of annual charity toy appeals - does no one else's child question why some children don't get presents if Santa brings them all - surely he could share better
Also with the glut of Santa movies none of which show Santa delivering all presents how do you get round those questions?
Or do my children just ask a lot of questions - which is why I keep it simple

My DM does this, really irritates. "Santa left this at my house for you!" No. That present is from you. We do stockings, and one big present that is the request. The elves only make certain types of things, that logically can be elf made (no ipads, for example).

I find bigging up santa can spoil, rather than make, Christmas, which is about sharing, and mutual gift giving, as well as using a myth to tell us about gift giving that isn't mutual.