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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Christmas lights and the neighbours

122 replies

rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 19:27

I really need some mumsnet perspective here as to whether I ABU.

We have lived in our current house for 3 years this will be our 4th christmas here. Every year we have put outside lights up on our house and decorated our windows so they look nice to the outside.

The first year 5 days after putting our net lights up the next door neighbors brought some fair enough I thought maybe they liked mine and wanted their house to look nice too. Ever since then they have brought exactly the same as what we have and it has started to really annoy me as I like to be different.

Then comes this year they have decorated their house like it is a landing pad for aeroplanes and they have gone totally over the top. I went out the front as they were out there and was having a friendly chat with them and talking about the lights and the lady who lives there said well we decided to do the lights like this because we didn't want to be in your shadow anymore. I don't really know how to take that?

The lights aren't the only thing they copy us with though we brought a new car they brought a new car not the same make but a 4x4 like ours, she has started dressing her dd the same as I dress mine (they go to the same nursery) we redid our front garden they did, we brought the kids some outdoor play equipment they did, we brought a new bbq they did you get the picture they copy is down to a T.

I am actually really angry about it all but my dh says that I should let it go and be flattered they want to be like us so mumsnet jury what do you think AIBU?

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 01/12/2016 19:29

Personally I think life is too short to stressed out about this. Let them get on with it.

harderandharder2breathe · 01/12/2016 19:31

So you don't like them copying but now they've gone and done their own thing you're cross?

Yabu

I am irrationally irritated by people who care about being "different"

ShatnersBassoon · 01/12/2016 19:31

They're bringing a lot of stuff.

They sound like decent enough neighbours, actually. Better than someone who never speaks to you or disapproves of your choices.

TheWitTank · 01/12/2016 19:32

Who cares?! Seriously, it's just stuff.

user1476961324 · 01/12/2016 19:33

YABU.

If you want to continue this farce, buy a herd of reindeer and let them loose on the lawn.

Onthecouchagain · 01/12/2016 19:34

The sincerest form of flattery and all that. Just let them get on with it, life's far too short to worry.

NapQueen · 01/12/2016 19:35

bought

It's bought.

icy121 · 01/12/2016 19:35

Why do you care?!

Original poster

rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 19:36

harderandharder2breathe it's not the fact that they have done something different that irritates me it's the comment that they only did it because they didn't want to be in our shadow anymore that irritated me.

I am certainly not going to try and out do them I never have I just buy what I want and then they buy the same. I haven't changed my Christmas lights they whole time we have lived here.

OP posts:

PinkiePiesCupcakes · 01/12/2016 19:37

I wish all my neoighboura copied me.
The area would be tidy, clean, quiet and everyone would be in doors minding their own.
Instead its a mess, dirty, noisy, people out till god knows when, screaming and shouting and being fuckwits.

Appreciate it OP, even play woith them, get Safe style to give ypou a quote and tell them your having the high end windows put in.
Get a builder in to quote on an extension or conservatory.
Hire a high end sports car for a couple days.
Etc.

That'll fuck em.

IfartInYourGeneralDirection · 01/12/2016 19:38

In the great grand scheme of things, does it really matter.

DailyMailJournosSmell · 01/12/2016 19:41

I don't think any of the things you mention are signs of weirdo behaviour. Buying a different 4x4 than you means nothing, zillions of people have 4x4.
The same goes for BBQs and garden toys.

With the other things I really don't think it's worth worrying about. Maybe you inspired her or maybe not.

As for the comment about the lights I'd guess she was teasing you.

Original poster

rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 19:42

PinkiePiesCupcakes You sound like my kind of woman. I would live to do all those things and just see what happens.

I don't know why it does bother me so much I don't like the fact that she is copying me I guess but I don't know why. I do know that making comments that they are in our shadow annoys me why would you say that to someone? I didn't really know how to take it.

OP posts:

JurassicFart · 01/12/2016 19:43

I would feel a bit sorry for them that they feel so pressured to "not live in your shadow" that they've had to go out and buy extra lights!

Channel your pity and have a bit a laugh over it. As far as wrathworthy things go, this isn't it.

monkeywithacowface · 01/12/2016 19:44

I would take it as an opportunity to wind them up and put up something like this

Witchend · 01/12/2016 19:44

well we decided to do the lights like this because we didn't want to be in your shadow anymore

I would take that as a joke.
But I have noticed that when you get one house up with lots of lights others round them seem to follow. We have 3 roads on our estate that are better than Blackpool illuminations (at least you don't have to queue to get in) usually. The other roads tend to have nothing more exciting than a flashing light.

SirChenjin · 01/12/2016 19:46

Nap

OP - they bought stuff, you bought stuff, it's really not worth worrying about. Focus on the positive, which is that you have good neighbours

downwardfacingdog · 01/12/2016 19:48

Yabu for saying brought instead of bought - argh!

TheWitTank · 01/12/2016 19:49

I think with trivial stuff like this, you need to give yourself a shake and see it for what it is. Being "really angry" over loads of stuff that millions of other people in the world own (4x4, BBQ, toys etc) is silly. Having a bit of an eye roll and a laugh about it is the way to go. Put it this way -I know a lovely woman in her early thirties who will be very lucky to make Christmas. It will definitely be her last with her two little children. I hate comparisons like this usually, but honestly, a few twinkly lights is nothing in the scheme of things. Enjoy the double festiveness and forget about it.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 01/12/2016 19:49

You only have one option. Massively ramp it up and out do them! Passive aggressive war!

KatharinaRosalie · 01/12/2016 19:50

Your house will look like the odd one out if neighbours have elaborate decorations and you don't do anything. Same with gardens, if neighbours' one is nicely done up, yours will look even shabbier in comparison. ANd as for clothes, maybe she simply likes your taste?

RoseGoldHippie · 01/12/2016 19:52

harderandharder2breathe (Maroon 5?)

I have that same irritation, don't know why it's just a little bug bear of mine!

FlyingElbows · 01/12/2016 19:54

Come on, op, just take it to the next level.

Original poster

rhuhbarb4 · 01/12/2016 19:54

I know the Christmas lights seem a bit trivial bit I think that was the last straw for me. I can see where pp are coming from in the sense that I should 'let it go' and maybe she does like my taste.

I don't know if maybe I have upset her in some way for her to say the 'living in your shadow comment' and maybe all of this is her idea of a passive aggressive war.

OP posts:

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 01/12/2016 19:55

ShatnersBassoon They're bringing a lot of stuff.

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