Is there reason for SS involvement?

[PussInCoutts]

Genuinely interested in whether I'm BU here.

There's a cow of a former friend who reported me to the police last year out of reasons I considered to be spiteful. The investigation came to nothing but caused me and my family a lot of stress at the time.

I'm genuinely wondering whether I should pay her the favour back and report to SS. She is PG with DC5, her and DH live in a one-bed flat and co-sleep with the other 4DC in the bedroom. She regularly shouts at the older DC and in my opinion treats them in a mean way. She is known to have thrown things at one of the DC when getting angry (she bragged about this). She swears in front of DCs all the time (but gets away with it all as she is related to some prominent people, so she's the Queen Bee of the school mums).

She lives off of her family's money as neither her or her DH have a job. She is always late to school pick ups and parents' evenings. The flat isn't particularly tidy either. I used to cut her some slack as she has many DCs but after her betrayal I've stopped looking at her life through rose tinted glasses.

Am I being just a vengeful cow here? I admit I fantasise about turning the tables a bit after all the misery she caused me. I do worry about the way she treats the older DC, and I also wonder how the new babies are made when they all co-sleep - it just seems a bit fishy to me.

OP, I think you're getting an unnecessarily hard time here. You fantasised about it, thought you were probably being wrong and vindictive and as soon as you were told you were you agreed and said you wouldn't do it. So I don't know why you're getting such an unnecessary kicking.

One of the first rules of Mumsnet seems to be that even if someone admits to embezzling benefits, sends their children to school in rags, feeds infants cola for breakfast and leaves them in dirty clothes and nappies all day long and regularly water boards all their children in the back garden anybody who even thinks of reporting them is apparently a complete bastard. (And apart from the last one I have genuinely seen people defend all these things on here).

Your spite wasn't nice, no, but FWIW I would probably also report someone living in a one bed flat expecting their fifth child too. Families might sleep all to one room in other countries but they also have poor access to contraception and high rates of infant mortality. And things like child labour and marriage and stuff. So it's not a good reason to do it.

As for why wouldn't the rich relative pay for her to live elsewhere. I imagine because said relative knows if they get her a 3 bed then kids 6,7,8 and 9 will appear pretty quickly. It could well also be a property held in some kind of trust (ditto money she lives on) so it cannot be sold/rented out etc. And I seriously doubt any trustees would be looking to give someone with a lifestyle like that much leeway with terms.

Spoon re shouting up...

A Freudian slip if there ever was one!

Some of you seem to have problems in reading comprehension btw. Maybe work on that. Except bullying strangers online is clearly more entertaining for you.

Thank you BillSykes! Excellent reading comprehension too.

Hmmm... I'm with VBRF on this, in regarding it seeming a little far fetched. I married into a very "influential" family, but it's never yielded preferential treatment, from anywhere. Maybe I should start storming about a bit, demanding, "Do you know who I am?!"

I am lucky enough to live in a nice little 2 bed Victorian terrace, No DCs. Bought with the sale of my house and DH (now deceased ) put in the other half. If her family are influential/rich and she lives off family money, (Trust Fund?) why can they only afford a 1 bed flat for a large family? Doesn't quite add up...

Oh, and I think it's properly shit to use SS to wreak your revenge.

I reckon "friend's" related to a one hit wonder 80's pop star, or soap actor..

No Puss not a Freudian slip, just boring old autocorrect I'm afraid.

I was originally going to say, very politely, that I think you were doing it out of spite and while I understood that, it would be unreasonable to call ss. Then I read your replies.
Your attitude is appalling. If you spoke to her in the letters like you did to people on here, I am not surprised she called the police. Do you really think her verbally abusing you is an ultimate betrayal and worth all this drama? Was there really the need to write the letters to her in the first place? I think you are being a bit dramatic here. Grow up.

I won't report although I'm a bit surprised that some people think it's okay to be emotionally abusive to kids and throw things at them

Well you clearly did considering you only want to report her to pay her back for your perceived 'betrayal' But, yeah, noone actually said that emotional abuse is ok. Considering the arse you've made of yourself in this thread, I'm a bit inclined to think you're making some of it up to bolster support for your revenge fantasy.

Was it really only a 'couple of emails' OP? And were they really not abusive? After reading all of your posts, I'd wage a bet that you haven't been entirely honest about that

just boring old autocorrect I'm afraid.

It's the bane of my life Spoon

Me too Flappy it drives me absolutely potty.

Especially when you have that slow motion realisation that you just saw the auto-corrected word mangling your perfectly good sentence just at the same split second you clicked 'post message' and it's too late to stop it.

I was having a bag humbug moment there, wrestling with the tree & lights, & reading this fromVeryBitchyRestingFace, "she needs to sponge harder" onwards was hilarious.