to ask what's the most selfish thing you've ever heard is?

[RuggerHug]

I know we’ve had the cheekiest request/brass neck, most pretentious and a few others here, and while they’re shocking in how some people can think, let alone say, them out loud they do generally make for giggles after the initial WTF shock wears off. So can anyone think of the most selfish thing they’ve ever heard of that they’d like to share? I only remembered this one recently and I was honestly stunned into silence at the time because I didn’t believe I’d heard it right.

Years ago, friend who was a bit of a princess. No real other friends(became obvious why). Met up and she had known I was worried about something. Told her what and I got this response, all in one stream of talk.

“OMG that’s wonderful news howl laughter you Mum just has cancer!!!I was convinced you were going to say you were pregnant and I was thinking how self-absorbed of you because I wouldn’t have anyone to go out with or drink with, and you’re my best friend and how could you DO that to me? OH THE RELIEF,hahahahaha, promise you won’t ever do that to me!”

Once I got my jaw off the floor I convinced myself it must have been a nervous panic way of saying “we’ll go have a drink whenever you’re stressed about it all”. I wasn’t.I can laugh about it now and DM ended up being fine. Anyone else got anything like this they can laugh at now?

MIL taking 12 days to drive 5 miles to visit her first GC and her first words were 'Well of course it's better to have a son first. I hate the name so you won't mind if I call her something else will you?' I thought my DM was going to hit her 😡
Two years later she arrived at the hospital 55 miles from her house 10 minutes after visiting hours started. She told me that it was a tremendous pity that DS hadn't been born first 'Girls don't count for anything in my eyes'.
God, how I hated that woman.

possible miscarriage trigger

When I miscarried this year around 12 weeks, after being to a&e and told the usual (nothing they can do go home and wait) I phoned mum in a panic asking what I should do if the baby came out (That point where you realise that is the likely end point). I said should I find a tupperware box or something to put it in? She said in an appalled voice that I sounded sick in the head. Consequently I flushed the foetus/baby down the toilet and regretted it instantly. Still pains me horribly. Wish I had taken time to think of how to dispose of it maybe buried under a nice rosebush or something.

Also after my son was born a few years back and I phoned her from the ward and she said "I am quite excited actually. I didn't think I would be". Gee thanks. Not as bad as some on here but she really does fail at basic empathy sometimes.

Also if you are miscarrying and you feel you want to hang onto the foetus somehow if it passes naturally (Maybe to bury under a rosebush or whatever else seems fitting. Even just because you aren't sure what to do) - go for it. Take your time.

OOh, I love threads like this.

My sister and her friends were planning a trip to Alton Towers, and my sister said she would buy the tickets in one go online and then everyone else would pay her back for their tickets.

One of her friends said she would only be paying her back for the ticket if the weather was nice. She said otherwise it would be a crap day and she's not willing to pay for a crap day. When sis told me this I was utterly

Talith I'm so sorry for your loss. I hadn't read your message before I posted mine and I'm sorry that the first line of my post sounds very insensitive.

DH's aunty told me another one about her brother (my FIL). When FIL's dad passed away, FIL hadn't spoken to him in years. DH's aunty was weas devastated about their dad dying as she was very close to him. The day after, FIL met her at their dad's old house, went round the house looking for any expensive items that he could take and sell, and then told my aunty that he wanted the house selling straight away so he could have his half of the money. This was literally the day after their dad had died. DH's aunty was in tears and FIL said nothing to comfort his sister. She has never really forgiven him for being so insensitive and selfish.

I started reading these thinking, stupidly, that they'd be some form of light relief! Sadly selfishness is a common trait in my family so I've had a lot of time to work on it. My father's side (and me hopefully!) are generous and patient and have to work to not be too self effacing. My mother's side including my brother are selfish and a little thoughtless. I've had time to work on this and I can now see it as a trait and also see the love they have for me. This allows me to anticipate their behaviour and not be continuously appalled and disappointed by it, and I guard my boundaries so that anything from me to them is a choice and a gift rather than taken from me. Terrible trait.

Oh Talith

My heart aches for you - poor you, your poor baby - what a dreadful mental state you must have been in.

My Dad has ms and now cancer and has started chemo.

The last 6 times I've seen mil she bangs on about her friend with cancer and how awful it is sob sob cry cry and hasn't once asked after my Father.

The last time I quietly said "yes I know how awful chemo can be, Dad's going through it remember?" to which she said "but you don't have to watch him go through it do you?" (I live in the States now.)

And when talking to dm about it (her and Dad separated years ago) she said "well I wouldn't pay too much attention to his moaning, he's always been a hypochondriac."

.

A friend was raped and murdered when she was 13 (it would have been her 35th birthday yesterday). Another "friend" said well luckily she didn't die a virgin at least that is one blessing. WTAF.

Crazycatlady

There are just no words . . .

When I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks my lovely neighbour informed me that "it really shouldn't matter as I have a child already"

My fil came in to the living room a few months ago and asked " why we could not have normal children"! So sorry we have 2 special needs children!

A colleagues teenage DD died from meningitis. Colleagues 'DH' (the girls DFather) decided the day after their daughter had died, that this was a fantastic time to tell her that he'd been having an affair for several years and that he was leaving her for the OW.
Bastard!

my one is "cant help with childcare/ support, but i'll pray for you". this is in the same breath as "i wish i could spend more time with the kids and have them for holidays and basically be their mum".
Also "ooh that speech therapy is so expensive, i cant afford to help you out" and a minute later "so money is no object for the wedding. we are hiring zoo animals to be there and a celeb chef to do the catering".

Mil turning up after DC 2 was born and brought dc1 a present and oh a box of my dh's favourite chocolates. Nothing for me or dc2. She also frequently offers my dh drinks and food and not me. I was sat on the sofa next to him and she came out the kitchen with at least 6 chocolate bars. Offered my dh and not me.

When we told mil we were pregnant with dc3 she ignored me and hugged dh.

My mother came out with a corker when I was younger and said I wasn't the sort of daughter she wanted and why couldn't I be more like x and y. She also complains I've wasted my degree (I'm a full time carer of my three DC. Two of whom have autism. The youngest has severe autism.) sadly I don't give her enough to brag to her friends about.

I remember I was a bit sharp with my bf now dh years ago. Nothing major. She told me it was no wonder that my ex had left me for someone else.

.

MSQueen I'm not even going to waste typing space on your MIL other than to say not only is she selfish but she's ignorant and bloody rude!

If I had a daughter who had a degree but was a full time carer for her three children, I would be immensely proud of her as a mother. What's more important, a degree being used or three children with a mum who is devoting her life to caring for them and helping them with their needs? You should be proud, don't let anyone take that away from you. I have one child, a 6yr old boy and I find it hard sometimes and he has no SN, so what you are doing is truly amazing. If it's any consolation, my mother told me I had achieved nothing. Although I am now a SAHM, I was a director of a company with a high salary from my mid 20s, I have been married for 10 years and a beautiful child...but because I didn't complete degree, I haven't achieved anything in my life (she's forgetting I dropped out of my degree when she was diagnosed with breast cancer a year after my dad died). Ah well!
Anyway my point was after all the rambling...a degree or similar to boast about is far less important than 3 children growing up in a secure and loving home, it's a shame she can't see it.

Crazycatlady Oh my goodness! That's a sickening thing to say. Did they find who did it? (I certainly hope so.)

Some of these are horrendous. The worst one I have was on a forum. Someone I knew from that forum had committed suicide (he was only seventeen) and the news had just broken. Someone else I knew vaguely (she was my ex-bf's gf at the time) was moaning that her finger hurt! I got my revenge on her though, when she and my ex got engaged I ignored that in favour of talking rubbish about sparkly nail polish and then I twigged that they'd split up a month before she announced it about a year and a bit later. They were a pair and deserved each other.