to ask what's the most selfish thing you've ever heard is?

[RuggerHug]

I know we’ve had the cheekiest request/brass neck, most pretentious and a few others here, and while they’re shocking in how some people can think, let alone say, them out loud they do generally make for giggles after the initial WTF shock wears off. So can anyone think of the most selfish thing they’ve ever heard of that they’d like to share? I only remembered this one recently and I was honestly stunned into silence at the time because I didn’t believe I’d heard it right.

Years ago, friend who was a bit of a princess. No real other friends(became obvious why). Met up and she had known I was worried about something. Told her what and I got this response, all in one stream of talk.

“OMG that’s wonderful news howl laughter you Mum just has cancer!!!I was convinced you were going to say you were pregnant and I was thinking how self-absorbed of you because I wouldn’t have anyone to go out with or drink with, and you’re my best friend and how could you DO that to me? OH THE RELIEF,hahahahaha, promise you won’t ever do that to me!”

Once I got my jaw off the floor I convinced myself it must have been a nervous panic way of saying “we’ll go have a drink whenever you’re stressed about it all”. I wasn’t.I can laugh about it now and DM ended up being fine. Anyone else got anything like this they can laugh at now?

My SDIL. DH's ex-w took 4 days off work and drove down 200 miles to stay and take care of GD (3) while SDIL was admitted to be induced with GS and SS had to split his time between work and hospital. She busted her ass cleaning their pigsty place, cooking and freezing a week's worth of meals and getting everything ready for them to bring the new baby home. On discharge, SDIL told her she'd need to stay in a hotel (but by all means come round in the day to continue cooking, cleaning and minding GD) for the remaining two nights of her stay in town since they needed space and time for the family unit to bond. I was there when she said it. I'd like to say my jaw dropped but to be honest it was so characteristic of SDIL I barely blinked and just offered Ex-w our guest room. I was there 'unofficially' dropping off some nappies and other baby stuff we'd picked up that we were supposed to bring when we were formally invited a couple of days later (after sufficient family unit bonding time presumably) but SDIL had decided she needed them sooner. On that occasion I was granted a peek at the nb but not to actually touch him.

The morning Ex-W was about to leave, she had to get back for work, knowing she wouldn't see them again for at least a couple of months, she asked if she might have a quick cuddle of the baby before she set off, she hadn't had a hold of her grandson the entire two days! But nope, "We're having Mommy and Daddy only holding time for at least the first week."

Yep, you guessed it, DH and I were invited for our first formal audience with nb during the first week. We weren't invited again for another month, it took her that long to forgive us for buying the 'wrong' nursing chair and for refusing to pick it up, return it to the not sufficiently exclusive store we got it at and drive miles out of town to the preferred store to pay 3 times as much for the 'correct' one. The one we got was from a respected baby supply store and was good quality and not bloody cheap. She wasn't even breast-feeding!

DH gave SS the receipt and told him to do whatever they wanted re the return. They got a double-buggy instead with the store credit (which we'd offered in the first place as our 'big baby equipment' gift but no, she wanted to fulfil some ideal home nursery furnishing vision instead of getting something they actually needed) and then insinuated to others that we'd got them nothing. Somehow though we were still out a fair few hundred $. Odd that.

Actually, I could write a novel about my ten years of SDIL experiences but it'd be at least a trilogy and ain't no one got time for that.

I shared an office with a selfish ex colleague/friend. When I had the audacity to speak about my personal life instead of focusing on her she said "hurry up and die" in reference to my partner's terminally ill mother who was in a hospice. She claimed to be joking!

So many appalling people! Lea that comment your colleagues made was simply dreadful. Hope you pulled her up on it! Mind you, I'd have been that shocked I may well have just sat there in disbelief!

When I worked in an admin role at social services (a long time ago now), a couple came into reception to drop off their two primary school aged children.

They were quite apologetic as they explained that a family member had let them down for childcare, so they wanted social care to find a foster carer for them while they went on holiday to Spain for a week- they were dropping the kids off en route to the airport!

My DF died suddenly when I was at university, conveniently just before all of his life assurance policies lapsed (light-hearted). As a result, DM had a bit of money and decided to take me to Australia to visit her sister for a couple of weeks about three months after DF's death - so all pretty raw still. We stayed with my aunt's friend in Sydney for a few days - an odd woman who left us alone in her living room and asked us to read her therapist's notes about the breakdown of her relationship and her subsequent feelings. (She had 'stolen' her DH from another women decades before, and he had now left her for someone else.) While out that evening, the woman started going on and on about how terrible she felt and how we couldn't possibly imagine how difficult it would be facing Christmas alone. My DM, to her credit, said nothing - I burst into tears in the middle of the street as I couldn't imagine someone being so self-absorbed and hateful. She died a few years later. Meh.

LittleMoonbuggy

What?! tell me they didn't get to go on their holiday and leave them behind

Someone I work with was off work for an operation to remove a malignant tumour. When she returned she told us that her partner had dumped her. As she was coming round from the anaesthetic. With the words "Your so boring these days; all we ever talk about is cancer"

DF died recently. Everyone in their area knew, quite a few people came out to stand and pay their respects when the hearse arrived and we set off for the funeral (which was lovely of them).
The next day, dsis (who lives overseas and had come home) was outside at the end of the close transferring luggage from one car to another. Arse of a neighbour came out to tell them not to be long, as he 'might want to go out'. Yes, he was temporarily blocked in, but he knew DF had died, was at home when the hearse arrived, yet decided it was a good idea to make a fuss about something that would only take a few minutes.

LittleMoonbuggy

What did you say?!

SIL is a piece of work. Prime examples include charging her mother £100 a week to stay with her while recuperating from a knee replacement, and doing nothing to help her during that time.
Always asking to borrow money from her mother, despite earning a good salary (and never paying it back).
Insanely jealous of my OH (her brother), and openly resents the fact that she will have to "share her inheritance" with him.
Never lifted a finger to help when her dad was dying, despite living 5 minutes away, yet gave an oscar winning performance of grief at the funeral (theatrical sobbing, semi collapsing supported on both sides by her teenage children).
Her mother is currently terminally ill, and it's more of the same, but with inappropriate comments about how much she will inherit. I'll be happy never to set eyes on the selfish bitch ever again.

"I just feel a bit 'meh'" - the initial reason that my exH gave for leaving our marriage without any warning (it later emerged that he felt 'meh' and also 'in love' with another woman).

My mother's sister-in-law died from cancer. They were close 20-odd years ago, but drifted apart along with her brother. Hadn't seen or spoken to either of them for over a decade by the time she passed away.

She called me in tears wailing about how unfair it was her brother, in his blind grief, didn't pick up the phone (after finding out her number - that he didn't have) and tell her as soon as she'd died. She was 'furious' that she'd had to find out from someone other than him.

She phoned him. And told him off. Made the whole thing completely about her and her feelings. His wife hadn't even been buried.

Funnily enough she wasn't invited to the funeral. She still doesn't understand why.

Moonbuggy

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

unlimited you've reminded me of my dh's old boss

So this boss, let's call him Paul, had his girlfriend Mary. Mary has children from a previous marriage. Paul has children from his previous marriage. He never seen his kids for reasons we don't know.

Anyway Mary's oldest son Bob had a baby. Bob and Paul do not get on. At all.

So Mary rarely gets to see her grandchild.

Bob's daughter dies from cot death at 7 months old. Mary is understandably devastated.

Paul becomes a total arse. He begins to whinge that Mary is not giving him enough attention.

Bob does not want Paul at the funeral, so Paul creates more fuss about how he's grieving too. He never met the child.

Anyway after the funeral he gets home and tells Mary he's fed up of her crying all the time. That he feels neglected and he's sick of not having any sex. He dumps her there and then and moves out

Mary, the silly woman goes chasing back after him the next day be going for forgiveness.

Paul now goes round saying you need to treat them mean to keep them keen

Dh told Paul he is a disgusting excuse for a man and walked out of his job that day

Sou it's not often I'm lost for words but that's done it!

Yes, they really did leave the kids at reception and dashed off to the airport! We were all stunned, but the parents seemed to have been under the impression that foster care was a last resort childcare service.

I'm not sure what the outcome was, but the poor kids eh.

My mother when her sister died of cancer at 52- 'she'd do anything for attention'. At her funeral 'she was akways a bitch'

My father went to my Mum's Dad's funeral. My exDH was driving as DF never got his driving licence. He insisted on sitting in the front to tell my exDH how to change gears and how to drive safely and when I got behind the steering wheel, he kept on going. By the time we came to my Nan's house, me and my ex were raging and my Mum, who was numb with grief was even worse. He didn't support her at all, instead he was going around telling everybody what shitty drivers we were and how we could have arrived much earlier if he had had a driving licence.
Then he tried to start organising the funeral, even though everything was already organised because he knew it better. Once again, no support from him for his wife, just playing the big boss.
When I split from my ex, my aunt, his sister went to see him. She had been meddling in our lives ever since I was born as I was her "chosen one" - she had never married as she had never met a tall dark-haired man called Oliver (her idea of a suitable partner) so she decided I was the child she had never had. She told my ex that I left him because I was like my mother. Apparently she had tried to bring me up so I didn't inherit my Mum's unsuitable character features but she failed and so I left him. The fact that it was my father who left my Mum, having almost destroyed her health and stealing her savings and that my DH was very similar to him was not discussed.

Friend's ex dh who sent her a text to say her wouldn't be home tonight. Or ever. After 30 years of marriage.

Some stories on here are just painful to read.

My mother when I was diagnosed with cancer:

"Oh no. How am I going to cope with this?"

My sister is one of the most selfish people on the planet. She used to play emotional games with me. For example she'd invite me to go and stay with her. I'd be looking forward to it for weeks,, then just before I was due to leave she'd phone and say "Sorry, you can't come now. My friends wouldn't like you".

My Dm the one time I tried to talk to her as an adult about the sexual abuse I suffered at 4 years old by my grandfather ( her step dad) who lived with us. I told her about it at the time and it was swept under the carpet. Apparently it was MUCH harder for her and I should be grateful that it was kept secret as at least I had a roof over my head.
A roof that I escaped from the minute I turned 16

In late pregnancy my sister developed serious pre eclampsia . She was in hospital when she fitted on the ward and was rushed to theatre for an emergency c section to try to save her and the baby.

While BIL and I were sitting in the corridor waiting outside the operating theatre, my mother arrived and started screaming abuse at my BIL, saying how could he do that to her ( my mother ) because he had got my sister pregnant ( they had been married for five years ) and now my sister was going to die and SHE would be left to bring up the baby .

Fortunately my sister survived but she had a lot of health problems and they decided not to risk any another pregnancy. They thought about adopting but my mother told her she couldn't because " it wouldn't be fair because you would never love an adopted child as much as your real child".

Did I mention that she was our adoptive mother ?

We had a bit of a family/close friends gathering a few months ago. One of the family friends has two kids with autism, one of my relatives has a child being tested for autism and one of my relatives works in a school for children with special needs.

Anyway we were chatting about all of this, the difficulties these kids face, the conditions in general and the help available for them.

When one of my aunties came out with something along the lines of all disabilities/difficulties are just an excuse for bad behaviour and a result of poor parenting-that there should be no need for specialist schools/extra help/carers etc for these children

As someone with a learning difficulty and with other people in the room going through the same thing, I was livid. No one pulled her up on it but everyone agreed afterward it was bang out of order.

MIL bemoaning her various (and occasionally imagined) aches and pains "oh, I just wish I was dead" to my DH who'd had a heart attack 5 days earlier!