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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what's the most selfish thing you've ever heard is?

143 replies

RuggerHug · 01/12/2016 15:46

I know we’ve had the cheekiest request/brass neck, most pretentious and a few others here, and while they’re shocking in how some people can think, let alone say, them out loud they do generally make for giggles after the initial WTF shock wears off. So can anyone think of the most selfish thing they’ve ever heard of that they’d like to share? I only remembered this one recently and I was honestly stunned into silence at the time because I didn’t believe I’d heard it right.

Years ago, friend who was a bit of a princess. No real other friends(became obvious why). Met up and she had known I was worried about something. Told her what and I got this response, all in one stream of talk.

“OMG that’s wonderful news howl laughter you Mum just has cancer!!!I was convinced you were going to say you were pregnant and I was thinking how self-absorbed of you because I wouldn’t have anyone to go out with or drink with, and you’re my best friend and how could you DO that to me? OH THE RELIEF,hahahahaha, promise you won’t ever do that to me!”

Once I got my jaw off the floor I convinced myself it must have been a nervous panic way of saying “we’ll go have a drink whenever you’re stressed about it all”. I wasn’t.I can laugh about it now and DM ended up being fine. Anyone else got anything like this they can laugh at now?Smile

OP posts:
GettingitwrongHauntingatnight · 01/12/2016 19:08

Mil asked me if I was having a termination when she was told I was having treatment for ab ectopic pregnancy. Hmm that and many many other things have caused me go VLC.

changychangy · 01/12/2016 19:15

Dad was in hospital flooring a heart attack and DBs bitch ex partner rang DM in the middle of the night pretending to be a nurse saying he was dead.
I can never forgive her, ever.

GettingitwrongHauntingatnight · 01/12/2016 19:17

changy Good god Shock wtf did she do that?

RentANDBills · 01/12/2016 19:17

OohhThatsMe no. I finally stood up to him after the wedding thing. He hasn't contacted me since

changychangy · 01/12/2016 19:19

A nutter Getting. I rang tns HR dept of the firm she worked for and told them.

ClockBusCanada · 01/12/2016 19:23

Chipperton My MIL did the exact same to my DD (then 5) last year! Really not on.

MrBloomIsActuallyAttractive · 01/12/2016 19:26

My mum has told her friends/boyfriend/work colleagues about my DD, but has never so much as mentioned my DS to them :( he's 4 months old now and as far as anyone she knows is aware she just has a granddaughter :(
Probably seems silly but it upsets me :(

mya83 · 01/12/2016 19:27

.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 01/12/2016 19:30

When my son died the first thing my mother said was 'You've screwed up the only good thing you ever did' and then told me exactly how I should behave, and had a go every time I got a card because she wasn't mentioned, she said 'It's Ok for you, you get all the attention'.

A couple of weeks after my daughter died my exhs sister found out she was going to be a granny. After not bothering to come to the funeral she arranged with her other sister (where we stored my daughters things until we could deal with them ) to come and collect my daughter pram and cot as we weren't using them.

Selfish arseholes Angry

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 01/12/2016 19:44

My friend's MIL, after friend's mum was given a terminal diagnosis and friend & husband wanted to spend Christmas with her parents. "And I suppose if she dies, she [friend] will want to spend NEXT Christmas at home [with bereaved dad] too". Nasty fucking bitch!

Mrskeats · 01/12/2016 19:51

My ex Mil to my late sister in law
They both had breast cancer but my Ex-mil told her that hers was much worse so she should just get on with it.
Thank God for divorce so I never have to speak to that witch again.

Bunnyfuller · 01/12/2016 19:52

My mu my, when I was 20w pregnant with DC #1 after 4 years ttc, 5 miscarriages and 2 ivfs 'why should I be happy? I won't see the kid? What have I got to be happy about?' (She lives along way away and wasn't happy we weren't moving to near them).

Same mother who didn't come to my wedding because 'the dog was ill' but then late admitted 'we thought he was just after a passport'.

We don't live any nearer them now and actually live close to a place she hates.

velvetspoon · 01/12/2016 20:13

I had a 'friend' who was always a bit hard work...she dated (casually, at least on his part) someone for a few weeks before he returned to his home country, and ended up on ADs because he'd left her, and wrote another guy who ghosted her after 2 dates an 8 page letter...you get the idea. Apart from being such a cling on she had a pretty easy life, lived at home with parents who overindulged her, didn't work as they supported her, etc.

When we were mid 20s, a couple of weeks after my dad died (my mum had died 3 years earlier) I was on a night out with her. This was soon after the 8 page letter was sent. I was a bit upset/ emotional. She said (in my earshot) ' I'm not having Velvet spoiling a night out by making a fuss and whinging, I've been really upset by (ghosting bloke) and I deserve a good night out'

She wasn't annoyed with me because I was upset, just because for once someone other than her had a problem. Fucking bitch.

She also a few years later called me a slag (I'd stopped speaking to her by then) and said my only way to enjoy myself was shagging random men (the irony was at that point I'd not shagged anyone in several years).

Last time I saw her she was several stones heavier than me and looked much older, which cheered me up no end.

Fidelia · 01/12/2016 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Timeforteaplease · 01/12/2016 20:14

I was single, in my 20s when my dad left my mum for the OW. A couple of years later I met my now DH. When DH and I realised it was a serious relationship, I wanted to include DH in family events. DM asked me not to invite him because she did not want to be the 'only one on her own'. Not happy I'd met someone, just concerned about herself.
Although she was happy to have DF round to do odd jobs on her house regularly after he had left for the OW, declaring she could not have him at our wedding and demanding we not invite him.
When DMs best friend's husband died of a heart attack in his late 40s, DM announced her friend's grief was nothing compared to what she went through when dad left.
Lecturing me on how much harder it is to be a grandparent than a parent.

OhTheRoses · 01/12/2016 20:28

SIL1. FIL died unexpectedly. SIL1 declined to attend the funeral (lives on a different continent with a dp and 3 children), because it was too stressful for a short trip of that nature. DH had offers to pay her fare. She ventured it would be better if he paid for her and the dc to visit for longer the following summer. He did (and would have paid for both trips). I refused to see her, I'm sorry I just couldn't. I've had her parents and now MIL every Christmas for 26 years. Never once has she picked up the phone.

TickleMcTickleFace · 01/12/2016 20:42

My uncle, when his dad was dying in hospital said he wouldn't bother coming over (he lives abroad) to say his last goodbyes, he'd just come to the funeral instead.

MerylPeril · 01/12/2016 20:52

People are twats indeed

One of BIL was a total cunt to his mother in the period she was sick, helping herself to cash, never going to see her, moaning when he had to do anything - telling everyone around how she was ruining his life as he had to look after her 24/7 (this included SIL who saw her once in the three months before she died), then said appalling things to her as she laid dying, gave her the shittest funeral he could.
Day after she died started chucking out stuff from her house, threw out loads DH and BIL2 wanted because it was 'all shit'. Tried to force sale of house through as he wanted cash to go on holiday

DH helped her as much as humanly possible and was very upset by her death.
(BIL lived very near, DH a distance, BIL2 abroad btw)

We went LC after as DH has been deeply effected by his behaviour

Recently we are getting grief as DH isn't concerned with how BIL is grieving and we don't care how upset he is!

Twat.

cleanasawhistle · 01/12/2016 21:02

A close relative of mine had a baby,when the baby was 3 month old he was admitted to hospital very poorly.
My relatives boyfriend phoned work and was given time off to spend at the hospital,he spent the whole 2 weeks sat in the pub.
When they split up he never bothered to keep up with the visits and eventually they stopped.
A couple of years later she was told by a friend that he was saying there was a DNA test and he wasn't the father.....too cowardly to admit that he just couldn't be bothered.

My husband and I sold our house and just happened that a flat we let out sold at the same time.So we had two homes to empty over the same few days.
My SIL phoned and asked to speak to my husband....I thought she was maybe phoning to offer some help....she said I know you are moving house tomorrow but I have decided to go away for the weekend could you pop round and give the car a service.

I had a friend who had a rough time over 5 years with one thing and another.I helped her out and listened and supported her on a regular basis for all that time.
When I was diagnosed with cancer she showed an interest for the first few months but then I hardly heard from her.
She phoned one day and asked how I was.I told her the chemo had brought on the menapause and the hot flushes were keeping me awake so I was shattered....she said oh you can't moan about that ,that was going to happen at some point anyway....she then turned it all back to her and went on about all the stuff I had been helping her with over the last 5 year,she just wasn't interested in me.
We are still on speaking terms but I don't count her as a friend anymore.

OhHolyFuck · 01/12/2016 21:06

elsa I'm not frequently shocked but that made me speechless
I'm sorry for your losses and that you ever had those nasty people in your life Flowers

UnbornMortificado · 01/12/2016 21:07

I've told this before. Ex-mil sold my dead babies clothes.

At a car boot to raise money for a piss up in Blackpool. Nearly 2 years and I'm still seething about it Angry

frauleinsallybowles · 01/12/2016 21:26

some of these are Shock really sad Flowers for everyone who has posted

Sassypants82 · 01/12/2016 21:52

My sibling (X) died, young & tragically leaving two children behind. Their MIL said to my sister 'Thank God it was X and not my Y' (their child). She also told my mother that she and Y found it so much more difficult to love my nephew while my niece is so much easier to love. My mother was absolutely digusted. This is not long after a very young child lost a parent.. She's a fucking asshole.

MatildaTheCat · 01/12/2016 22:05

My db and SIL plus 3 very lazy boys live somewhere it is normal to have a live in maid. SIL makes the maid do all of the washing up by hand rather than use the dishwasher because, 'it's her job'. [ shock]

Maid also does all the housework, cooking, laundry, washes the car and probably spits in their dinner when she gets the chance.

I was truly sickened by this attitude.

MatildaTheCat · 01/12/2016 22:06

Forgot to say that SIL does not, of course work at all. Db won't get involved because it causes strife if he does. Hmm