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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish school wasn't so relentless for young children.

109 replies

waterrat · 30/11/2016 22:00

My son is 4 and likes school. It's a good creative primary and I feel lucky to have got a place there. But god the school system is so relentless. Every day handing over my young child and getting him back exhausted to the point of tears. And he is one of the kids who has found it generally easy socially etc.

I work part time so I cant ve there every day to collect him. I feel very sad about losing the days off I had with him. I now get to be with him twice in the week between 330 and bedtime. How have we built a system that means parents see so little of their children ? I already work a 3 day week so I know I'm lucky.

Today I was in the park with my younger child. It was such a beautiful day and my heart ached wishing he cpuld be with me just having a random jump about and playing with friends rather than having to be in the system every day learning.

I think pre school was great but the hours we put our kids through at such a young age is just reallt making me sad.

Do any of you feel like this ?

OP posts:
monkeysox · 30/11/2016 22:03

Yanbu school is relentless full stop.Sad

edwinbear · 30/11/2016 22:11

It sounds as if this is you missing him, rather than him finding school too much? My dc love school, lunchtime football matches with friends, (ds Y3), or tearing round on tricycles at lunchtime (dd YR). I'm looking forward to them breaking up for Christmas but that's really for my benefit rather than theirs.

Blossomdeary · 30/11/2016 22:13

4 is really too young - they are barely out of toddlerhood. I sympathise with your concern.

baconandeggies · 30/11/2016 22:13

It is relentless, but compulsory age for education is the term after they turn 5... A friend of mine took her child back to the child minder for her free 15hrs instead of full time school! Another's did PT until older

burgundyandgoldleaves · 30/11/2016 22:15

There's loads of play based learning in reception. Flowers

baconandeggies · 30/11/2016 22:15

And more parents are choosing home ed until yr 2 - in line with other European countries

LouBlue1507 · 30/11/2016 22:16

You do know school isn't cumpulsory until their 5 years 3 months right?

Mrscog · 30/11/2016 22:17

To be honest I've been really impressed by how lovely and play based reception is. My 4 year old has never been so happy since he started school! I don't know what that says about how enjoyable his time with me was! Grin

PickAChew · 30/11/2016 22:17

DS1 spent most of reception icing cakes and getting sand in every conceivable nook and cranny. Has it really changed that much in 8 years?

Mrscog · 30/11/2016 22:18

Not really bacon, in those European countries where they don't start formal school until 6/7 most children are still in some form of full time childcare from 3ish - it's just play based.

baconandeggies · 30/11/2016 22:20

Reception is still mainly play, but I think OP's point was how tired her son is doing 5 x 6ish hours a week?

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 30/11/2016 22:20

I now get to be with him twice in the week between 330 and bedtime. How have we built a system that means parents see so little of their children ?

You have quite unusual working hours though, most people work whilst their children are at school rather than in the evening.

thedogsvagina · 30/11/2016 22:22

I think I must be really cold. School always seemed too short to me and DD just loves being with her friends and always has done since nursery. She gets bored at home with me now and is always looking to have a friend over rather than being with just me.

Original poster
waterrat · 30/11/2016 22:23

Yes its play based and he enjoys it..but he is only 4 and I wish I got to spend a little more time with him. I think the day is u necessarily long and the system too rigid in terms of never being allowed to miss a day.

I literally feel in the week I barely see him and he shattered when I do.

I could have held him back a year but he is very sociable and all his friends were going....I just wish the day was shorter.

I preferred him dping just mornings at pre school and when I worked the childminder collected him.

OP posts:
Original poster
waterrat · 30/11/2016 22:24

I don't know what you mean about unusual working hours ? I work 9 yo 5 3 days a week. I just meant that on my days off I don't get much time with him now.

OP posts:
AmyInTheBoonies · 30/11/2016 22:24

This is why I home educate and plan to until year 3 at least.

It's a shame there aren't more part time options for school. I think that would be ideal for quite a few parents.

corythatwas · 30/11/2016 22:27

Mrscog, the main difference ime is that Scandinavian nurseries are very much into out of doors play and exercise, whereas even the loveliest most play-based UK reception class will be spending most of the day in a relatively small classroom and a lot of it sitting still. Scandi nursery classes seem to be out and about an awful lot: you see them walking along the streets or travelling on public transport.

EnglishGirlApproximately · 30/11/2016 22:27

I get you op. Ds is in reception, he's sociable, bright and has settled easily. He went to the school nursery so wasn't a massive transition, the school is lovely and relaxed, they have a huge amount of outdoor space and are really creative with the learning.

He started crying the minute he saw me today because he's so tired. I know I could keep him away for another year but I didn't want him to miss out on a place at this lovely over subscribed school and end up with him not being schooled with his nursery friends, and I also wouldn't worry that he'd be behind in year 1.

It's hard to know what's for the best really.

baconandeggies · 30/11/2016 22:30

Yes - I agree there should be more leniency for allowing flexi schooling until, say, 5 or 6yrs. I think it's down to the individual ht before compulsory school age.

80schild · 30/11/2016 22:34

I agree with you OP. For me it is not just the hours they are at school that is the problem, it is the expectation of homework and teaching them to read. At that age they should just enjoy having stories read to them and homework is just whatever free play they choose to do at home. I really struggle with my boys - one is the youngest and one is the eldest and I don't think either of them were really ready for it.

JenLindleyShitMom · 30/11/2016 22:34

I have two DC with very different reactions to school. One loves it, he is thriving, he always enjoyed it, he has friends and find the work manageable. He would hate being at home all the time.
The other really struggles, find school stressful, friendships are difficult and the work is beyond him. It breaks my heart knowing how he feels. If I could arrange how to work from home I would Home school him.

Babieseverywhere · 30/11/2016 22:34

Gosh I agree with you OP.

My youngest likes school but at 4yo is so tired all the time.

Roll on the Christmas holidays.

watchingitallagain · 30/11/2016 22:35

My eldest is in reception. She is so tired it breaks my heart. 15 hours would definitely be enough for her, especially after a 25 minute walk up and down hills either way. I have to enforce quiet time where we just sit and do something quiet or she can be asleep by 6:00. Sad

BikeRunSki · 30/11/2016 22:36

I think the OP means the hours from the end of school to bed time, on the days she doesn't work pizzas.

I have one in Y3 and one in Reception and work 4 days a week. This term isrelentless, it starts with shorts and sunshine, and ends with freezing cold dark nights and mornings. It lurches from Harvest Festival, to Halloween, to Guy Fawkes to Comic Relief to Christmas - concerts, Nativity, whatever fundraisers, class parties, panto trip.... and it is often the longest term in numbers of days.

The next couple of terms are much easier, and I really enjoy the summer term as a parent.

borntohula · 30/11/2016 22:41

i hear you, i love school holidays because it's great to spend some actual time with them on days off.

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