To wish school wasn't so relentless for young children.

[waterrat]

My son is 4 and likes school. It's a good creative primary and I feel lucky to have got a place there. But god the school system is so relentless. Every day handing over my young child and getting him back exhausted to the point of tears. And he is one of the kids who has found it generally easy socially etc.

I work part time so I cant ve there every day to collect him. I feel very sad about losing the days off I had with him. I now get to be with him twice in the week between 330 and bedtime. How have we built a system that means parents see so little of their children ? I already work a 3 day week so I know I'm lucky.

Today I was in the park with my younger child. It was such a beautiful day and my heart ached wishing he cpuld be with me just having a random jump about and playing with friends rather than having to be in the system every day learning.

I think pre school was great but the hours we put our kids through at such a young age is just reallt making me sad.

Do any of you feel like this ?

When did the age to start change? Ds1 started nursery (attached to the school) a week after his fourth birthday (September birthday) and did five mornings 9am until 11.30am. He started reception a week before his fifth birthday. He's 28 now. It seems that children now start reception at the age ds was when he started nursery.

I think pre school was great but the hours we put our kids through at such a young age is just reallt making me sad.

Yanbu

So many little ones are dropped off at 8am for breakfast club, then a normal school day of 6+ hours, then after school clubs/child minders.

Many of them are doing a 10 hour day but what can you do if the parents need to work?

They just have to get used to it.

When my dd got offered a place at primary I asked if she could do part time - either mornings or 3 days per week. The headteacher said ''No if I let you do it everyone will want to do it''.

I think their really should be choices in primary. It's far too much of one size fits all.

YANBU I hate how rigid and lengthy the school day is from such a young age.

YANBU

I don't think it's necessary to impose so many long hours so young. French kids used to have Wednesdays off. Having a break in the middle of the week makes such a difference, I wish our system could copy that.

I agree , my ds is 9 and I still love school holidays .

I was actually quite relieved when my DTs started school at 4yrs 5 months For me and for them - we were all getting bored. I feel that way now towards the end of 6 weeks hol (they are 10). But I guess it's different if you have a younger one at home still.

School gave me some freedom on my days off and it gave them the chance to make friends and explore.

I do agree school is relentless, and that won't change over the years, unfortunately and I do wish there was less pressure.

I agree OP. DS1 was only just 4 when he started reception. He was completely worn out every day and had homework every day . I felt so sorry for him.

It was all too much for him I think, and now a short while into yr1, he's just starting to get to grips with reading (he used to cry with frustration in reception, it was heartbreaking). He's still quite far behind most of his class though. In hindsight we should have just delayed school until he was ready.

insanity You had a September birthday child. I was (am!) an end August child. Means I started a week after my 4th birthday. That was in 1983. It hasn't changed.

I'm not sure things inEurope are quite as idealistic as people think. My niece is German and has just turned 3. She's an Autumn birthday so wouldn't be starting school for nearly 2 more years if she was British and would not yet be in pre-school. She does 30ish hours a week at nursery and was showing me correct pencil grip over Skype last week. Ds (6 months older) doesn't have any form of pencil grip - he spends his nursery hours playing trains.

The age is the same insan1ty. It's just your son was lucky to have a Autumn birthday.

You can have a child age 4 and 1 day starting reception if they are late August born.

At the moment despite the summer born campaign few schools are interested in letting you delay them a year. You can let them start reception the term they start 5 and maybe only do the summer term of reception before year one.

Children are offered full time school from as young as just 4 years old i.e.31/08.

I think the legal requirement for starting is the term they turn 5 years of age...

At the end of the day someone has to be the youngest!

'Mrscog, the main difference ime is that Scandinavian nurseries are very much into out of doors play and exercise, whereas even the loveliest most play-based UK reception class will be spending most of the day in a relatively small classroom and a lot of it sitting still.'

My little boy started reception in September and at his school the only time they really have to spend in the classroom is 10 minutes morning circle time, 20 minutes phonics and 5 minutes end of day circle time. The rest of the day they can be outside if they wish and they have lots of different activities/play equipment to have free choice of. He loves it.

Why are schools so reluctant to allow a delayed start? Surely it would make the teachers jobs easier if there weren't as many children all starting at the same time especially when some are so much younger and less ready than the older ones in the class?

Because the alternative is that the older children in the class benefit from additional education.

I'm sure they could work round that by staggering the move up to the next class. It's really not insurmountable. Would take a bit of planning and yes would be different from what has happened since forever but that's how progress works. Things change.

Before compulsory school age you have the option of part time. After that is the Head's discretion.

My dd is 4.5 years and attends Reception two days a week.

And you can choose to delay their start to any point during year R if they are below CSA.

Reception was hard until Christmas. Year 1 was even worse until Christmas. It gets easier quickly for most.

YANBU, I feel very much the same. I have strongly considered HE for the reason's you list. My son is 5. I agree once they are in the system, it takes on a life of its own! Can you consider giving him the odd day off, when you are off?

I don't disagree, but I think you are also at absolutely the worst point in your child's primary education. It's cold and dark, your child is tired, you are tired, you're both still adjusting, it's a hella long term and of course he's still so very little. There's a lot going on. Come March his stamina will have increased, you'll be at the park after school, it will all feel a bit more manageable.

YANBU.

It has changed a bit. When I was in primary (early 80s) we started the term we were 5 or summer term at the latest - which is still compulsory school age, but in those days there was no option to start in the september for the younger ones. The problem with that though was that not only were the younger ones younger so on average less able to start with, they'd also had 2 terms less schooling than the september birthdays. They did keep the summer term starters in reception for the autumn term of their year 1, so they still had 2 terms in reception at least.

I won't win mother of the year award for this but.... I counted down the days till my dd started school, I couldn't wait to have sone time to myself! Dd is late summer born so one of the yongest, reception is 90% play, well at her school it is anyway. Maybe it's because I've got a very demanding dd but school is my saviour

Move to Norway. Kids start school at 7, by which time their parents are probably desperate to be rid of them. They are loveable up to 4/5, and hit that spot again around 8/9, and then 12/13, but inbetween can be unremitting toil, breeding resentment.

Totally agree its relentless! I also wish I got to see more of my children - I work part time but similar to OP there is not much time during the week to actually spend with them.

I wish so much I could flexi school (I cannot manage homeschool due to financial constraints as single parent) but schools in area not supportive of this. Wish more schools would think aside the box and support this - there are a few schools that do ... just not commutable!!!