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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is madness at a company Christmas do?

188 replies

designateddriver16 · 30/11/2016 21:16

We have a Christmas do which is pretty much compulsory. You get hounded for explanations if you don't go. They are generally Saturday nights and never in convenient locations. This year's is out in the sticks. Transport is not provided. Nearest town is 10 miles away. Accommodation available for £90 per room. (Not covered)

Senior management have announced us they are only providing free wine with the meal. No soft drinks for drivers or anyone else. I queried this and was told that tap water in a jug was the only non alcoholic option. Drinks are available at the bar at extra cost (last time a coke was £3)

I have to drive. Need to get home for the dcs. I'm not a massive drinker so even if I weren't driving tbh I'd like the option of alternating wine with a soft drink.

AIBU to think this is not only weirdly stingy but irresponsible madness?

OP posts:

user1471950254 · 01/12/2016 23:56

Yay

GeekLove · 02/12/2016 11:18

Report back on how it goes and whether it is as dreadful as it sounds.

The80sweregreat · 02/12/2016 15:23

You may well surprise yourself and enjoy it! Sometimes the thing we dread are the ones that turn out good ( having a drink helps)

Goldilocks3Bears · 02/12/2016 17:33

You have other plans.

That's all. No company can make it compulsory, even as a cultural thing, and they certainly shouldn't book something so expensive and booooooring.

Dont sweat it - by 8pm it will be forgotten as they'll all be pissed.

Shona52 · 02/12/2016 18:09

I would be honest about not wanting to to and why. The whole point of a Christmas party/night out is to say thank you to the staff for their work over the and if your not going to enjoy it then they have missed the mark. We use to put out 3 events/locations and everyone voted and the winner was picked. This way it was what most people wanted.

wasonthelist · 02/12/2016 18:10

If I dropped out, it would be noted and brought up at regular intervals. It is seen as an "indicator" of commitment to the company. It's not an advisable move if you want to progress.

That is a shitty organisation to work for - and I should know, I've worked in a few similar ones. Don't go, and start looking for a new job ASAP.

stumblymonkey · 02/12/2016 18:19

Personally I wouldn't make an excuse as then they don't get the feedback as to why people aren't going.

I wouldn't ever attend a work do on a weekend evening let alone one that won't even provide me with a Diet Coke!

wasonthelist · 02/12/2016 18:21

YY to what a pp said about agreeing so as to avoid hassle then just not turning up on the night.

wasonthelist · 02/12/2016 18:22

Personally I wouldn't make an excuse as then they don't get the feedback as to why people aren't going.

Fair comment but the OP's employer doesn't sound as if they want to hear any feedback.

JellyBelli · 02/12/2016 18:25

Why do staff put up with this kind of crap? Let the employer deal with ACAS.

Sparklyglitter · 02/12/2016 18:36

I'm sorry I'm sick and I can't make it! Springs to mind!

WLF46 · 02/12/2016 18:41

It sounds like you are not strong enough to say you won't go. You need to work on your confidence and be more assertive. By "hounding" do you mean abuse or threats? If so, report it! If you just mean they ask why you're not going, tell them the reasons you've given in your original post!

You sound ungrateful, the company is laying on a Christmas Party for you with free wine, and you're fucked off that they're not also forking out for accommodation for the whole staff or other drinks?

What's wrong with water anyway? If you are that concerned about buying a soft drink, why not just bring a bottle of Coke with you?

WLF46 · 02/12/2016 18:43

...that they're not also forking out for accommodation for the whole staff or other drinks?

For other drinks, obviously. I'm not suggesting that you think they should be paying for accommodation for for soft drinks...

Benedikte2 · 02/12/2016 18:50

Nest year be very enthusiastic about the event and then make an excuse at the last minute or the next work day. Always sounds better if they think you were dead keen to start with.
Anyway, do let us know how ir went

wasonthelist · 02/12/2016 18:52

You sound ungrateful

I'd be ungrateful too, it sounds more like a fucking Nuremberg Rally.

wasonthelist · 02/12/2016 18:53

Although Benedikte2 is right, better to play them at their own wanky game than tell 'em the truth.

SapphireStrange · 02/12/2016 18:55

Nuremberg Rally

PaulDacresConscience · 02/12/2016 19:02

What's wrong with water anyway? If you are that concerned about buying a soft drink, why not just bring a bottle of Coke with you?

Not very inclusive, is it? Doesn't take into account staff who will be driving - like the OP - nor staff who might not be drinking. Teetotallers including those who don't drink for religious reasons, pregnant woman, people on medication. Does't 'play' very well nor do a great deal for morale, bearing in mind it's cheaper to pay for soft drinks than it is to lay on wine.

Yamadori · 02/12/2016 19:10

This sounds so familiar, I used to work for a company cough insurance cough with a very similar idea of what Christmas parties should be like - piss-ups in a hotel miles from anywhere... I always used to drive anyway and go home (not much of a drinker) but it was worth it for the whodidwhatwithwho shenanigans stories that would emerge over the next few months days about all the nocturnal goings-on

PuppyMonkey · 02/12/2016 19:18

OP in your position, here's what I'd do.

Don't say you're not going or you don't fancy it Try not yo get into big discussion with anyone about it.

On the night, just don't go.

If they all get shitfaced, they won't remember if you were there or not anyway.

And if anyone asks, say you were there but you can't remember a thing about it - you spent most of the night unconscious in the loo. Your DH came and picked you up, but nobody noticed as they were all so pissed.

Then you get the kudos of being a party girl without having to actually go.

Lorelei76 · 02/12/2016 19:30

OP "The entertainment is an employee"

.???!!!

eddielizzard · 02/12/2016 19:39

well now you can partake of the wine at least it will be almost vaguely bearable. i prescribe a hip flask though. there won't be enough wine and it will be diabolical.

clareken260 · 02/12/2016 19:40

Previous years dos have been evening, but not compulsory. Attendance was falling quite badly so last year switched to afternoon, near work and soft drinks bought as part of meal. Repeat this year (today) and a great afternoon was had by nearly the whole staff. So much better.

limitedperiodonly · 02/12/2016 19:41

On the night, just don't go. If they all get shitfaced, they won't remember if you were there or not anyway.

puppymonkey's is the best suggestion so far

limitedperiodonly · 02/12/2016 19:43

It sounds like you are not strong enough to say you won't go. You need to work on your confidence and be more assertive.

Yeah. I've worked in places where my assertiveness has gone down really well

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