To think this is madness at a company Christmas do?

[designateddriver16]

We have a Christmas do which is pretty much compulsory. You get hounded for explanations if you don't go. They are generally Saturday nights and never in convenient locations. This year's is out in the sticks. Transport is not provided. Nearest town is 10 miles away. Accommodation available for £90 per room. (Not covered)

Senior management have announced us they are only providing free wine with the meal. No soft drinks for drivers or anyone else. I queried this and was told that tap water in a jug was the only non alcoholic option. Drinks are available at the bar at extra cost (last time a coke was £3)

I have to drive. Need to get home for the dcs. I'm not a massive drinker so even if I weren't driving tbh I'd like the option of alternating wine with a soft drink.

AIBU to think this is not only weirdly stingy but irresponsible madness?

It's definitely not compulsory. You have a perfectly reasonable explanation: it's very costly/poor value. You don't have to give that explanation - just keep saying you can't make it. And only if asked. Otherwise just don't pay and don't go.

I don't think it's irresponsible exactly, you are all adults and are not being forced to drink and drive, but it's fucking stupid and I wouldn't go myself.

Pics?! I meant pass!

Stupid phonephone!

Don't go if you don't want to, no need to explain yourself.
I would love to hear their justification for dismissing you at an employment tribunal

Seriously this is bullying under a guise of "team building"

It sounds awful. Loving designated's idea.

Tell them that you've to stay home that night. It's your "trimming nasal hair/picking at dry skin on your feet/clearing hair collected in plug holes" night. And that sounds like a lot more fun than the company "do" .... they'll understand, no questions asked.

The seating plan compounds the horror. I used to work for a company that did this, and they never put you on a table with anyone you knew because it was supposed to be a bonding exercise. I never did manage to bond with anyone I shared a table with because in the majority of cases I never saw them again. I still shudder with horror at the meal that felt like it was 5 hours long because I was put between the two most boring people in the entire Northern hemisphere.

This is surely discriminatory - other than people who either don't want to drink or have to drive - what about who aren't drinking for religious reasons? Can employers get away with providing drinks for non-Muslims and not for Muslims? There will be other religions too. If there are no employees with minority religious beliefs or the employer doesn't even know, then that tells us everything.

Sounds awful, but familiar! I think these things are only vaguely enjoyable if you drink the free wine. Can you share a taxi home with some colleagues?

Go, stick to water, be the life and soul so everyone thinks you are joining in and slightly tipsy but not excessively.
Top off local police about an hour before the end that you are worried people too drunk to drive are getting ready to drive. And that at 9am the next day there will also be people too drunk to drive.
At least next year it might not happen...

Can I come with you ? I will wear fancy dress and film all innapropriate shennagins for you and then next year when you want a get out of jail free card , I will present you with glossy a5 posters of said shennagin indulging culprits , sure they won't mind you attending ever again

But only if we stay for the 'entertainment' , I luffs a bit of entertainment

Mind you , if you work in the area I think you do , which is renowned for its very dark humour , I worry that the glossy posters will just cement a ' Aww designated is one of us' mentality and you will be expected to provide them for ever more at every Christmas do .

I would just not go. This is completely ridiculous.

If I dropped out, it would be noted and brought up at regular intervals. It is seen as an "indicator" of commitment to the company. It's not an advisable move if you want to progress.

What do HR think of this? (please don't tell us it was their initiative...)

I'd ask to be given a copy of the paperwork detailing what happens if you don't go and how, including how exactly they define and measure 'commitment' and how attendance and non-attendance are brought to bear in terms of appraisals/other measures of progress.

So you're being offered free meal with wine & it's optional to attend. No pleasing some people

Pushing, the OP has said several times that there's a great deal of pressure to attend, or perhaps you've missed those posts.

Pushing, did you actually read the OP?!!

Ignore the pressure - act like a grown up and say 'no'.

I read all the posts, including the original. I'm not going to my work Christmas party because I said I'm busy. Some people are suggesting I'm a party pooper, but who cares?

Pushing, are you Boris 'blurt it out' Johnson?

I just think the OP is an odd mix of grabbiness about the company not offering enough for free & passiveness about not being to stand up for yourself when you don't want to do something. I am much more charming than Boris Johnson ;-)

I had similar with a compulsory works sports day. Unfortunately I had a migraine on the day.

It's not about 'not offering enough for free'; it's the nature of what they offer. Only wine is free; you have to pay through the nose for anything non-alcoholic beyond tap water in a location where you must drive or pay a lot of money to stay over .

I do agree though that the OP should just stand up for herself. Having said that, the culture does sound pretty punitive.