To think that the PTA is voluntary?

[malificent7]

I used to help the pta as and when i could with the Christmas fare etc.

Then i got more work so i had to stop. I will nog forget one of the PTA have a moan at me in the playground that some mhms were not pulling their wieght as they were not in the PTA. When i said id love to help but couldnt she said "we are all in the same boat" She didnt work.

Aibu to think that if you volunteer you shouldnt moan about people not volunteering for whatever reason!?

Voluntary means just that!

DS goes to a private school and there is still a flipping PTA.

I help out at the summer fayre as DS really likes it, but I have no desire to get any further involved as to my mind because we're already paying fairly high fees I would expect everything essential to be provided by the school and the PTA should form more of a social role than anything else.

As someone up-thread wisely said these things always become bigger than you want them to be when you first volunteer and if you go to the meetings you become the obvious target when looking for folk to do things.

This has happened to me as I volunteered to be the scout secretary - little did I realise how much additional admin is required over and above the meetings, then I was voluntold I was helping out at a fair, without really being asked.

Events require a huge amount of organisation and unfortunately it's hard to make clear profit driven decisions at a committee where people probably only work together once every couple of months. PTAs should cut down to the essentials and work with what they've got , rather than having expectations that everyone will donate time or money. If there is something specific that's being fund-raised for, then that should be made really clear and then people can donate or get involved accordingly.

Helped for two years at the school fete. Completely blanked by 'the gang' and left to get rid of the unsold ratty school uniform from the stall myself. Which was fine but would've been nice to be asked.

New school - asked to join PTA, tried helping once selling raffle tickets and was told three times 'blah is doing over there' which left nowhere to sell tickets. I work full time and and have a shift working DH, no nearby family. I cannot put the hours or effort in to try to join the clique.

Nope.

mum2two- not basking, grafting.

My husband works very long hours, and volunteered to look after the finances for the large scout/cub group. They were in a terrible mess - really, really bad, and he spent weeks doing the accounts in his limited spare time, ringing the bank, sorting out invoices etc. etc and got everything straight. Some weeks later I was asked where had he been on Saturday morning when 'all the Dads' were shifting stuff in the hut. I pointed out that they had all probably been watching TV or doing something nice over the past six weeks while he had sorted out the shambolic finances - that was met with a cold stare. At the next meeting someone else said that there were parents who 'needed to do more' - that was directed at a couple with a lot of problems at home . I had to get up and say they would probably do better to thank people for what they had done rather than criticise but that too went down like a lead balloon. Can't wait for my DSs to leave when they outgrow this organisation!

See..there we go again...'we all worked outside the home..and had preschoolers too'...side speak for 'aren't we blooming marvellous'

But they are 'blooming marvellous' Most members of a PTA put many hours of work, even though they are busy people with families, jobs etc. For the benefit of all the children, not just theirs. If that's not blooming marvelous, I don't know what is.

While I don't think it's ok for PTA members to make other parents feel bad for not helping out, I do think it comes from a place of frustration that many parents do want the extras that come from PTA funding, but are not prepared to put in even an hour or two to help. And then many have the nerve to complain about how things are run, or the events that are offered.

Most PTA work is a bit of thankless task, many think they can do better, but aren't prepared to actually do it.

Some PTAs don't make it easy for themselves. Some members of our committee complain that the Xmas gift stall is really time consuming and doesn't make that much money considering the hours spent doing it. I suggested we don't do it. "ah, we didn't do it last year and people complained - the kids love it". I say people complained not because the kids love it but it's an easy way for the dad to get a present for mum from the kids (or to get dad's present). So, we are doing it for the parents really. Fuck that - I'm not trawling around shops to buy gifts for families I don't know. Just stick to the easy money making stuff. I'm on the committee and it does my head in.

Also, PTA people are human too with our own strengths and weaknesses. I'm absolutely rubbish at remembering names and recognising faces. No doubt over the years I have 'blanked' many people, but it would never have been intentional. I'm an organiser, I organise. But I'm pretty rubbish at the touchy feely stuff. I do my best, but it doesn't come at all easily.

I think some expectations of volunteers are too high. Obviously PTA groups should be friendly and welcoming but they are just other random parents too is it for them to ensure you as a volunteer have a great time and are carefully managed? The first time I turned up I too stood around like a lemon feeling slightly awkward and resentful before realising you just get over yourself grab a bin bag and muck in.

Oh and turning up to a small hardworking group with your "fundraising ideas" for them to actually carry out whilst you swam back off again is a sure fire way to piss people off.

Have any of you heard of easyfundraising.org.uk? You can set your PTA up as a cause and then every time you shop online, money gets donated to the PTA. It's not a bad way to raise money.

It isn't when everyone uses quidco and topcashback and would rather keep the cash for themselves. . We have it, publicise it etc. Made 62p from it last year.

Or we could all be taxed a bit more progressively and schools could be far better funded?

Why should the single parent mum with the children with SN who runs the PTA be paying more (in kind) for her kids' quality of education than the rest of us? Why does she near a disproportionate burden to.the city banker with no children?

This all smacks to me of an American culture of philanthropy, there to paper over the cracks of a system that isn't fit for purpose.

Sunflower class should have its flower bed as standard, ffs. Up the revolution!

Exactly eggy its self funding by the back door. Our school is approaching corporate sponsors. Our IT upgrade was paid for by a local philanthropist. As I said up thread, PTAs now seem to be asked to fund basic stuff, not just fun extras as school budgets are pared to the bone. That's what you should be all angry about not that some poor woman who is trying to help but doesn't have great people skills or doesn't manage your volunteer experience well enough.

KERALA- Absolutely!

Wow.... thanjs for all the replies! I just think that if you want to be a PTA member then you should expect that not everyone wants to volunteer even if they are unemployed and that there is nothing wrong with that.
People choose what they want to do with their spare time and if helping atthe PTA fete is not on your list of priorities then so ve it
If you are a member you should be prepared for not a lot of help from other mums and get on with it.... or un-volunteer!

Lovely attitude there op. Couldn't agree less.

for all volunteers, PTA, guiding, scouts, kids sports, governors. Anyone that gives up their time for free for the benefit of other people is pretty damn amazing in my view.

If you are a member you should be prepared for not a lot of help from other mums and get on with it

While that's probably true, what a very sad state of affairs it is. It's such a shame that so few people are prepared to give a little of their time to help others, but are so quick to accept the benefits they bring. If more people gave their time, there'd be less for each individual to do.

Our PTA are amazing!

I however, am shit at everything, disorganised, ridiculously busy and forgetful.

I tend to show my appreciation by putting in £20 secretly for a 50p cake at the sale etc.
I also send more money in than requested each term. The DCs don't know this obviously, so they think I'm lazy and tight
Oh and I'll always stay and help clear up after big events as the kids can run amok at those times.
Luckily ours is very enthusiastic and well staffed so they rarely ask for volunteers. Thank fuck....

Personally I think we pay enough tax. The problem is not lack of money available, but that education has not been prioritised by the state. There seems to be plenty of cash for successive governments to blow on crap no one wants.This is resulting in a situation whereby parents are now being expected to finance basic running costs of the school (photocopying, transport, books). This is fundamentally wrong and the more money we directly give, the more 'normal' expenses the govt will pass on to us.
That said, if the school said they would like to buy ipads or outdoor play equipment and in exchange for a £5 direct debit per month they would stop with all the raffle tickets and other bits and bobs where I have to locate the right change at the last minute cos I have forgotten all about it, I really would agree to it. At least for the primary school, who do not expect me to provide all the resources they use. The sec school is frankly getting enough of my money in other ways.

Personally taken aback by viewing the local secondaries. Shiny atriums, brand new theatres, cafes. My dds primary, large not small about 500 kids is a disgrace. Worse than my secondary in the 90s. Roof leaks. Dd took some stuff into school for a project which had to be destroyed due to a sewage leak. PTA has to set up working groups to paint areas. Don't know where our tax pounds going but it ain't primary schools.

Maraidplastic..'not basking - grafting'...from my experiences with PTAs I am sorry but I have to disagree.
Just because we don't join the 'committee'..does not mean we are not doing our share. In my daughter's recent school, we not only donated over 3k of our own money to the school funds, I helped out at every single pta event throughout the three years we were there. I joined the school with the same enthusiastic friendly approach I had always shown before, and I honestly thought the experience would be different this time. But no..it soon became apparent that the 'friendly' we don't bite..their words literally..committee, were so trumped up by their own efforts, they felt it gave them pass to criticise anyone who dared not show up to their oh so inclusive gatherings. They'd spend the first 15 minutes banging on about how hard they all worked, guffawing at their own 'if you want something done ask a busy person' mantra. While not once acknowledging those who were contributing in other ways. People who were happy to help without basking in their own merveldom! I stopped going to their committee gatherings, but carried on helping out wherever I could. Ran stalls, cooked food, helped prepare halls, helped clean them up. You name it..I did it. But I along with a few other likeminded helpful mums, were not once thanked in any way. It was the PTA chiefs who stood up and took the praise...and moaned about how busy they are..
I am certainly not saying that all PTAs are like this, but there is most definitely a very well defined 'type'..and it is one that I have no admiration for whatsoever.

KERALA, my local secondary school is the same - everything shiny and new and looking great but parents are printing out or buying all the resources needed to actually teach!

That sounds rubbish mumof2 very annoying. I do think it's good for Dc to see their parents volunteering occasionally, that their mum is one of the ones at the end of the fair going round with a bin bag and their dad is hefting wine bottles to the recycling rather than just going home. I don't want our family to be insular I'm alright jack types.

mum2two Fair enough, just don't use your experience to label others.

I agree on that Kerala. I just think that there are rather more of us willing to help, and indeed do..than the disgruntled pta glory bask 'chiefs' care to acknowledge sometimes. I knew a lot of mums who simply refused to volunteer because they couldn't stand the attitude. They were happy to support events by turning up and spending money, but didn't want to be dicatated by the time police on anything else. It's a shame, but sadly all too common.

Mairaidplastic..I certainly haven't labelled others. I have clearly said in my post that I am not saying all PTAs were like this..that has simply been MY experience. An experience that has spanned 13 years and 6 PTAs