To think that the PTA is voluntary?

[malificent7]

I used to help the pta as and when i could with the Christmas fare etc.

Then i got more work so i had to stop. I will nog forget one of the PTA have a moan at me in the playground that some mhms were not pulling their wieght as they were not in the PTA. When i said id love to help but couldnt she said "we are all in the same boat" She didnt work.

Aibu to think that if you volunteer you shouldnt moan about people not volunteering for whatever reason!?

Voluntary means just that!

I refuse to be on our school PTA but I do volunteer to help with events. Parents that do jack shit always annoy the hell out of me tbh. Our PTA is currently lead by an awesome woman - single mother of 2 and the youngest with severe disabilities. Very difficult to look her in the face and claim you are too busy.

The focus on two or three events is sometimes unhelpful - the above mentioned craft fair is and example.

A weekend playground project in our school got the gardens looking great - mums, dads, kids, other helpers all involved for an hour or two at some point. Some people donated an hour and a few plants. Some four hours and the loan of a wheelbarrrow. A request for cash donations raised enough for play equipment. Most people can afford five pounds a year. In a school of 300 that gives £1200. Some people will give less but most could give more if they were asked outright.

I find this rather interesting. In my daughters school the PTA is well organised and theres always events. One time they were asking for helpers so I went along. Thy didn't need help at all and kinda ignored me. I found them very cliquey. I shan't be volunteering again!

Ditsy - that's amazing!

And yes I hate the fact that people don't think twice about the benefit their kids get - and frequently complain about the fact that the event isn't good enough or there are not enough clubs!!

I work 50 hours a week and I try to do my bit but what grates me its that it is never enough. You are always made feel guilty. I baked some cakes for my ds's class then the week after I was asked to bake a cake for children in need, this week they need homemade stuff for the Christmas fair, they also need someone to man up a stand.Every week there is something and I can't keep up !

The attitude is everywhere though.

I used to live in a flat with communal areas. We all took it in turns to keep it clean, do the gardens, sweep the leaves.

I used to work long hours but had days off in the week so I would do a big clean once a month or so. Those who were around during the day did the daily leaf sweep! There were six of us so it was easy to manage - and the place was lovely. As owners and times changed and Buy to Let landlords bought - no-one thought they "should have to" do anything after all they "were busy" , it "was cliquey", they "paid their rent didn't they". So the place ran down. We had to get gardeners and cleaners who didn't do such a good job and we had to pay them. Silly really - but it is the way of the world.

I would like to help but at the moment I'm heavily pregnant and have bad SPD so I worry I'd be unreliable if I committed to help at something. We always attend the events when we can, we bake cakes, we send in small raffle prizes - sometimes attendance is inconvenient (like the events during working hours) but I take the view that my cash is required/appreciated so I stump up. It's not a case of us being 'happy to take advantage of fun events' particularly, but I do my bit by contributing if I can. Not much money would be raised if those who weren't on the PTA didn't turn up.

I did try to help out at school events, e.g I've supervised at the local discos, helped out on school camps etc because otherwise these events cannot happen. However if I was in the PTA I wouldn't have enough time for my own family, some people are too busy and some people do have more time.

I was a treasurer for many years at a local club which a large amount of the children Primary School attended and I gave up many of my Sunday afternoons etc doing the books for that club even though I worked 40 hours during the week and I am a single parent. I felt that I was already doing my 'part' for my community.

I agree that the structure of the PTA with the focus on commitments is unhelpful.

If you are not able to help at an event but turn up and support it with cash - that's great. If you can't easily be present at something do a "Newsheet"
or design tickets.

I think the school needs a person to co-ordinate the help - and show that ALL contributions are appreciated whatever they are and recognised ! We were all thanked by e-mail at the end of the year and invited to a "thank you" event twice a year.

Yanbu volunteering by it's definition is optional. Nobody has the right to have a go at you for not doing something optional, no matter how pee'd off they are. PTAs should be grateful for any and all support they get and not try to alienate potenti volunteers by making them feel guilty.

With small DC, I'm not in the position to help during the day, or after school, or even in the evenings as DH works long hours. I don't think I'm being a freeloader if my children benefit from the funds raised by the PTA....

Yanbu - why is it only the mums she was complaining about anyway? Surely children at the school have dads too?

I work 12 hour days and when I don't I'm at home with a toddler, I have no opportunity to help.

If I'm home from work I've got the toddler. I volunteer elsewhere and that's where I chose to devote my time - I can only stretch so far.

And the cliqueiness is really off putting.

You are right the PTA is voluntary and there will be many many parents who just dont have the time to help out. I can and I do and I dont hassle parents that cant. You can support your PTA by turning up to events and say a couple of nice words - you dont have to set aside huge swathes of time.
However dont be one of those parents that moan about quantity or quality of events if you arent prepared to get properly stuck in.
And yes you may well spend a few events really not knowing what to do but you learn. PTA's get used to having very few people helping and get in to a rhythm of a few people doing a lot.
As for being offended by doing crappy jobs - FFS someone has to do them. I have never been offended by sweeping floors and collecting rubbish for example (or clearing up the loos after a water fight) - I'd rather do something than nothing. I really couldnt care less if someone else has a nicer role. Its not why I am there. Nor am I there to make friends - turns out that i have but I didnt know a soul when I first started.

We have similar attendance ratios to DementedPixie but ours is a junior school. I don't think that non-helpers should be moaned at but yes, it is boring to always be the one helping out or organising things.

It would probably help if they could be specific about what they want and the level of commitment needed. You don't need everyone on the committee, but you do need a support team.

I'm not involved in the PTA, but am a leader in Guiding. Sometimes we need the support of parents and could make a good guess about who is willing to support. If they know what we need, we get a better response, especially if there is a little flexibility there.

Life is busy for families, whether that's working, regular activities or scheduling in down time. Different people have different skills to offer, and different limitations.

As for being offended by doing crappy jobs - FFS someone has to do them. I have never been offended by sweeping floors and collecting rubbish for example (or clearing up the loos after a water fight) - I'd rather do something than nothing. I really couldnt care less if someone else has a nicer role. Its not why I am there. Nor am I there to make friends - turns out that i have but I didnt know a soul when I first started sic

Well done you for being so virtuous! However, I don't think I am being unreasonable, when I have been blatantly saddled with the shittest job, to say "never again". If PTA's so desperately want our help then cut the cliquiness, don't allocate all the 'nice' jobs to your mates and actually speak to the other parents who have volunteered and make them feel (gasp) welcome into the fold. For new parents like me, I can tell you that it's not much fun to be ignored and totally sidelined when you have turned up to an event to offer help.

I would love to help the pta but I have no childcare. The couple of people I know who will babysit I need to save for the rare occasions dh and I are able to spend some time together and I'm not sure I would want to pay £30 odd in babysitting just to attend a pta meeting. I always go to fairs, but raffle tickets, provide prizes etc but can't really man a stall with two small children in tow. I do rub a big community event which is separate from the school but involves a lot of the children and is possible for me to do with dcs coming along too. None of this is enough for the snide pta leaders who have made a number of pa comments about how I'm on maternity leave and they would have thought I'd be pleased to get out the house and join them.

badknee
Yes, they were an amazing bunch of people only about 12 came to PTAS on a good night.
We were one determined bunch. A disco for the parents was one of the biggest fund raisers. One of the dads was in a band so they played for beer, we made a really good buffet and we held it at a big works hall that someone knew the boss of so we got a reduce rate for hiring. We sold tickets to the workers who liked a good night out. Some of the parents came. We raised over £800 which was a lot of money those days - 20 yrs ago.
Serial and Yo perhaps you could provide a raffle prize each term though. There is always a way if there is a will and I agree people should make people feel awful but if parents said look I am really pushed for time but I will commit to helping at one event a year with actual help and something once a term for the stall/ raffle then at least the PTA would feel supported.
For a buffet once I tried a different tact outside of school. I had a list of food and approached each parent with my list. I said" We are having a buffet at the next event what from this list can you provide?" and handed them the list and a pen. Each bit was section so Sandwiches... Then listed was the types we wanted with 'other'at the end ( in case someone had an idea), likewise cakes, sundries( crisp, nuts) not one person said no. It was easy they were presented with a choice so the busy working mums could say crisps or drink etc. after that I had no problem as those that got to the list first could have more (easier)choice. Take note PTA members.

I would love to help the pta but I have no childcare

If you approached our PTA we would have plenty you could do - putting together a newsletter, emailing companies to request raffle prizes, booking rooms for meetings, speaking to the local supermarket about donating squash and oranges for a sports event, putting together a school recipe book.... all things we've done over the last year and all things which can be done from home.

Musicinthe00ssucks - apologises if that sounded like i was talking from way up on my high horse BUT I did view the PTA as something I had to learn a bit about at the at start. A bit like starting a new job, where you are working things out. I was quite happy - and still am - to fly under the radar doing shitty jobs. Now I have abit more understanding of what help is needed and when. It took time is all I am saying. And I have a lot of respect for the parents that spend hours and hours setting stuff up.

One word: clique.

Our PTA was run by a certain clique of villagers and I honestly couldn't stand the thought of going to meetings to be talked over and for the chair who was so full of their own importance to be poo-pooing everyone's suggestions. They once tried to say no to a suggested bingo because, "Do we really WANT those types?" Inferring that it was a certain type of "rough" person who came to all the bingos in the villages. Perhaps it was? but their money is just as good as everyone else's and they had family members in school just like everyone else. Kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews!

Our PTA is having trouble at the moment because the school is very oversubscribed.

This means that the new intake was 22 siblings. Eight new children ... but two sets of twins, so only six new families. And that means realistically only one or maybe two new volunteers a year, when the attrition rate as youngest/only children leave Y6 is far higher.

I'm doing far less for the PTA than I used to, although still more than average, and I'm sure some people are giving me the side-eye, but the people who actually bloody ask and find out that I'm now working eight times as many hours as I used to and with two new medical conditions are far more forgiving.

Unfortunately, some people do hear "voluntary" and understand "doesn't need doing".

I would love to help the pta but I have no childcare

If you approached our PTA we would have plenty you could do - putting together a newsletter, emailing companies to request raffle prizes, booking rooms for meetings, speaking to the local supermarket about donating squash and oranges for a sports event, putting together a school recipe book.... all things we've done over the last year and all things which can be done from home.

My "done from home" PTA job last year was coordinating the class teatowels. Not only is it "at home" but it can be "at home with a bottle of wine and a box of Maltesers"