To think that the PTA is voluntary?

[malificent7]

I used to help the pta as and when i could with the Christmas fare etc.

Then i got more work so i had to stop. I will nog forget one of the PTA have a moan at me in the playground that some mhms were not pulling their wieght as they were not in the PTA. When i said id love to help but couldnt she said "we are all in the same boat" She didnt work.

Aibu to think that if you volunteer you shouldnt moan about people not volunteering for whatever reason!?

Voluntary means just that!

But I along with a few other likeminded helpful mums, were not once thanked in any way

While that's wrong, and I can see why it would put people off, do others remember to thank the PTA, who (in most cases) have put in the donkey work before the event has even happened?

For instance, I am a cub leader. Our team of three leaders spend hours putting together a fun evening each week, organizing (and going on) camps, and trips, going to training, meetings, AGMs etc, doing admin, ordering badges and equipment etc.

We have a rota for parents each week, and I always go out of my way to say thank you to the parent who has given 1.5 hours of their time for one week a year. Because I do genuinely appreciate the help. But rarely do I get a thank you back. Even though I volunteer week in, week out.

You should be thanked for your help. But, to be honest, I wouldn't get upset if the PTA get the majority of the praise. They've probably done the majority of the work, even if it doesn't seem apparent.

Mum2two- I'm sure you mentioned a 'type'. That's labelling.

And yes I stand by that, there is indeed a particular 'type' of PTAers
I'm sure a lot will agree. But I have also clarified quite clearly, that this by no means applies to all PTAs
You sound rather a tad defensive on this..and I'm really not sure why.
I am sure there are wonderful PTAers out there..non bossy non cliquey and happy to give their time & efforts generously and without disgruntled disdain for those they feel give less.

I have only had experience of one PTA, though at a big school with changing cast of faces and have personally never come across this personality type.

I take my hat off to anyone that volunteers, particular the brownies and guide people - they are total saints in my opinion.

Not really defensive, mumof2, just tired of people having a go (just on here, not in real life thankfully) when trying to do the right thing. I can't understand the vitriol.

I don't think people on here are necessarily having a go Maireid, I'm sure most people are appreciative of their school PTAs and the work they do. I certainly wasn't extenuating my more negative encounters to imply that they are all like this. But sadly some do fit that label, and it does put people off.
My previous schools PTA lead, was particularly obnoxious. And yes they did receive a lot of praise and thanks from all concerned. And this lady most certainly thrived on it. While also lamblasting everyone else who seemed to shy away from it, when in fact they were more so shying away from her!
On our last fete, We sourced all the food for the catering...manned the BBQ with hubby and gave up most of our Saturday in the process. Yet the PTA chiefs still stood up at the next assembly and moaned about how they can't do it all themselves blah blah..when in fact most of the class chipped in and helped in different ways. Yet of course, they got the thank you flowers and the praise and the accolade.
When we have donated money to the school, it's been done discreetly and without disgruntlement for what others may or may not be giving. When our DD started Reception we personally funded the entire class stationary requirement and some much needed playground equipment. Not that anyone knew this, but we were simply happy to help. That is all I am saying, there are some good people who do contribute in many different ways with a kind heart..and there are those who do it with a very disgruntled one. And yes, those good hearted people deserve all the praise they can get..whether they sit on some PTA committee or not x

Lol mum2 I think we may be at the same school

The thing is regardless of the lead I will still do something, like you. I don't do it to get into the clique or get accolades from someone I don't particularly like. I do it because it is good for the children and the school. I don't really get why the PTA committee have to be nice, they are doing their bit and if they are arses then they are arses.

People for some reason need to make the PTA personal. I don't get it tbh.

Totally not my experience. Everyone that helped in anyway large or small is name checked and thanked by email the next day and again in the newsletter. All volunteers are invited to a thank you cream tea every summer term. Our chair an ex corporate manager and it shows

I don't really get why the PTA committee have to be nice, they are doing their bit and if they are arses then they are arses

I agree with this. The PTA committee are just people, normal people, who come in all types - nice, rude, kind, grumpy , all sorts!
Of course it would ideal to feel appreciated, of course it would be nice to be thanked. Unfortunately that just doesn't happen - but is that really a reason to stop helping - I'm not sure it is

I have to totally agree as the same thing happened to me a few years ago when my child started a new junior school. I was with another 'new' parent who gave ideas for upcoming events and we were both dismissed and not contacted again. I am a very busy mum of 6 children who also works 25 hours a week and was willing to find time to support the events but the whole atmosphere and the way we were treated put me off completely!!

I am on the PTA - but the ladies seem to have it down to an art. Nice short meetings as everything is arranged via chat and a lot of support as there is a format to the events and it's mostly parcelling out jobs.With two young kids I generally contribute an hour here or there doing admin, wrapping parcels etc. Everyone in the schol supports it - one way or another - contributing sweets, turning up to events or running a stall (max one hour). The lack of guilt tripping helps and its very obvious where the money goes; last year the school got a new library area and this year its an outdoor play area planned. Plus its a damn sight cheaper to take the kids to the school Santa grotto and drop a pound on some chips than going to a shopping arcade.

Asking for a donation at the beginning of the year would penalise parents on low incomes and frankly take away the kids events. My son loved the Christmas fair and it raised over a thousand in the space of two hours.

But user can you see it may grate to have parents rock up to a small team of other hard pressed parents with "ideas" for those parents to then have to actually put into practice? It's dead easy to have ideas. What you do is say here is my idea, I've costed it and this is how I plan to make it happen. Would it be possible to find 3 other volunteers to do X y and z to make it work?

We have a small summer fair type thing on a Friday straight after school 3:30 til about 6pm. Parent comes along to PTA meeting to say having it on a Saturday would be more fun and 'fair like'. We agreed but explained why it's on a Fri - teachers help, it's really hard to get helpers on a sat, it ends up taking up the whole day, the event becomes bigger and then more work. Parent looked a bit huffy and we haven't seen her since. Sometimes there are reasons why new ideas aren't considered workable or have been tried in the past and now rejected - it's not personal.

Exactly orange. We had a social event for adults idea suggested. Well great but when those were done in the past hardly anyone came. And the proposer of the idea didn't want to actually organise it or set it up themselves. Existing members reluctant to use their time to do an event they knew would flop. So newcomers idea rejected.

Exactly, Kerala.

"I think it would be great if we could do online payment for the school disco. I'm a computer geek and I'm confident I can set it up in three hours, if the treasurer can give me half an hour to set up the recipient details."

"I think such and such an event would be a great fundraiser, and my company will give you the venue and staff for nothing to run it, if you'll arrange selling the tickets."

I was with another 'new' parent who gave ideas for upcoming events and we were both dismissed and not contacted again

Its a shame you felt dismissed, but it may well be that these new ideas have been tried before and just don't work. Maybe it would be better to help with the PTA for a few months, and become 'one of the team' before throwing in new ideas.

I get this with my cub pack occasionally. Last week I had a parent come to help for 1.5 hours, first time he'd helped in over a year. The next day I received an email outlining all the ideas he felt we should do at meetings, how I should organize it, rules we should implement, activities that the cubs should be doing. I emailed him back to ask if he would like to meet up to discuss his ideas, but he didn't want to, he was too busy. Just wanted to tell me what I should do!

Its a shame you felt dismissed, but it may well be that these new ideas have been tried before and just don't work.

But that's when how you respond - "No, we're not doing that," vs, "thanks for the idea - we tried something like that a couple of years ago, and it just didn't work, which was a real disappointment, but we need to put our efforts into things which will pay and make the effort worthwhile. But we could do with someone else to help clear up after the fete. Can I put your name down?"

But that's when how you respond - "No, we're not doing that," vs, "thanks for the idea - we tried something like that a couple of years ago, and it just didn't work, which was a real disappointment, but we need to put our efforts into things which will pay and make the effort worthwhile. But we could do with someone else to help clear up after the fete. Can I put your name down?

I agree it does depend how the PTA responded, but given that the PP just says 'we were dismissed', we don't really know how the PTA responded. Also, the PTA are just people, they're not perfect, but I'm sure the majority will be doing their best.

People still get pissed off even you are polite ime!

The issue with 'new ideas' is who is going to organise them? I'm sure if you said 'I'd like to organise x on behalf of the PTA' you would get a more positive response than rocking up and saying 'it would be a really good idea if the PTA organised x'.

We have a mum that's recently got more involved in the PTA and had several really good ideas. E.g. Get every child to raise £25 in sponsorship money doing something they want to do (walk/silence/washing cars, whatever). Wider ctte didn't like the target but, but suggested prizes for those that raised the most. Headteacher didn't like that, but suggested each class do something to raise money. We were trying to avoid too much school involvement as the staff are busy enough! And as soon as you make it a team effort you end up with 10% really trying, 50% doing a bit and 40% doing fuck all. And the £6.5k you thought you'd raise becomes £1k which the school secretary then banks because she competes with what the PTA raises.

Also you see all the threads on here frequently moaning about having to do stuff for school. Our PTA are very careful about what it asks parents to do or they get very pissed off. Another reason why "new ideas" may not leapt on gratefully.

I am on a PTA & I love it. We do 4 big events a year & raise about £12-16k a year when we add on the bake sale every half term.

Every mother on our PTA works outside the home (ours is all mothers). I have asked the parents in our class if they could help at an event and the only parents who said yes were those that worked full time, again only women replied (group whatsapp).

Why is this?

Many who don't work don't because other responsibilities or difficulties prevent them.

Some will be just lazy; some will feel unable because of caring resources, disabilities, etc.

And some will do stupid hours volunteering elsewhere. Why does PTA trump other causes?

*caring responsibilities

Ffs phone.