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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that the PTA is voluntary?

277 replies

malificent7 · 30/11/2016 06:43

I used to help the pta as and when i could with the Christmas fare etc.

Then i got more work so i had to stop. I will nog forget one of the PTA have a moan at me in the playground that some mhms were not pulling their wieght as they were not in the PTA. When i said id love to help but couldnt she said "we are all in the same boat" She didnt work.

Aibu to think that if you volunteer you shouldnt moan about people not volunteering for whatever reason!?

Voluntary means just that!

OP posts:

Wookiecookies · 30/11/2016 19:12

And were parents allowed to split payments termly?

Wookiecookies · 30/11/2016 19:13

Also, did the school provide a breakdown of what they intended to use the money for, for that year?

MothersRuinart · 30/11/2016 19:19

I went to school in a different countryand all school functions were organised by the kidsfor the kids, supervised by teachers. Parents could help if they wanted but generally it was teachers and kids.

RaspberryOverloadTheFirst · 30/11/2016 19:28

I'm chair of a PTA. If we get new members, I welcome them with open arms, as do the rest of the group. We do have roles that people are good at, eg me with admin, 1 lady is now a whizz at sorting out alcohol licences, but we all generally muck in and have a natter while we get on and do stuff.

There's no way we would allocate shitty jobs, we look at what needs doing and volunteer for various bits, and all share the cleaning, etc at the end.

I work full time, and most of the others on the committee also work.

KERALA1 · 30/11/2016 19:51

you should set it up wookie! Sell the idea to the entire parent body. Communicate it to them appropriately you will need to maybe do a newsletter or email? Deal with the inevitable queries and complaints. Expect lots of complaints as you are asking for money for nothing - they would go mental at that in our school. Liaise with the school as to what it is they need to fundraise for. Go back to entire parent body. Maybe do a poll as to what to spend it on? Set up a payment system. Gosh sounds really straightforward

HeCantBeSerious · 30/11/2016 20:01

Lots of parents complaining about having to stand in the wind and rain at school pick up last week. "We need a shelter," they moaned. "You can have one," I replied. "Only need £15k. At current fundraising levels it will only take until the children currently in the nursery to leave for high school and we'll be quids in. Long as you don't want books or subsidised school trips for any of the current children."

Mumzypopz · 30/11/2016 20:15

It would help if PTA's actually told parents what they did with the money everyone has been donating for years.... might encourage parents to give more or volunteer....after donating to hundredf PTA events over the years I couldn't actually say how the children have benefitted. At our Junior School there is no outside play equipment and all the after school activities are run by the teachers....

gamerwidow · 30/11/2016 20:19

I'm the new chair of our PTA. I had never been on the committee before just volunteered at events. It has amazed me a) how much work goes into even the smallest of events. (Even a raffle takes weeks of phone calls and emails to source prizes) b) how entitled some parents are. I'm fortunate in that I only work 3 days a week so have time to volunteer and I do understand that some people can't. What I don't understand is when you run an event and parents complain that they are not getting enough for their money or it isn't professional enough. I spent my lunch hour today being shouted at by a parent who phoned me up to tell me the snack pack at our film night was substandard and I should be ashamed of myself. I don't expect a medal for volunteering but I've been surprised at the abuse.

KERALA1 · 30/11/2016 20:25

Mumzy they should. Our PTA very transparent all the spending of fundraised money is publicised monthly. All parents can vote on spends above £50. None do but they can, given plenty of notice.

AnneElliott · 30/11/2016 20:31

It's voluntary but I get annoyed at parents who a) moan that the events aren't good enough b) moan that we haven't bought things they think are priorities but refuse to help out/ come to meetings or get involved in any way. Sometimes I think they just like moaning!

And I know people are busy, but I work full time, have another voluntary role in scouting and do the treasurer job too.

ittooshallpass · 30/11/2016 20:40

Wookiecookies you have made me laugh out loud.

Agree with you 100%.

PTA - I always read it as PITA.

I found the PTA at DDs school cliquey and uninterested in any ideas that weren't yet another disco, film evening or opportunity to cram out kids full of sugar, E numbers and fizzy drinks.

NoSquirrels · 30/11/2016 21:08

Oh, it's all just damned if you do, damned if you don't, isn't it?

Some people LOVE the discos with added E-numbers ("the kids LOVE it, it'd be a shame not to")

Some people want to just give some cash and have everyone shut up and go home (Wookie )

And because it's voluntary most people won't get involved (too cliquey/too busy/not for me, I'm not a joiner/happy to help but can't commit/just tell me what to do when you know what you need).

Personally, if I had my way, every parent/carer would be required to give a minimum of 3 hours per child per year to the school voluntarily. This could be satisfied in a number of ways:

30 minute slots on a stall at a fete
school trip helper
reading with youngest
helping at an after-school club
tidying up the flowerpots
applying for fundraising
asking companies for raffle prizes
baking cakes
doing the books for the PTA
publicising events in school
publicising events outside of school
being a class rep
etc etc

You could "pay off" your 3-hourly contribution with a hefty donation to school funds if you so pleased . . . at a vastly inflated rate.

I think that would be awesome, personally, and best of both worlds.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/11/2016 21:08

We're transparent about spending too, and try to ensure that money is spent to benefit every child. Few years back the PTA bought 35 iPads. The kids were thrilled but as none of the parents saw them they hadn't a clue it had happened. We have a termly newsletter where we tell everyone what has been raised and what's been spent. They still moan and whine.

HeCantBeSerious · 30/11/2016 21:10

I love that idea Squirrel. Can't see our head going for it though.

NoSquirrels · 30/11/2016 21:16

The admin would be awful, and people still wouldn't do it (but would have something else to moan about!), and you wouldn't be able to chase people because it's "voluntary", and the same X people would still do over and above. So it's a non-starter.

But personally, I would love for it to be a stated expectation to new parents - "at this school, we expect everyone to give generously of their time, X hours per year per child, so it can continue to be awesome."

You get out what you put in, and so on. From each according to their ability ... principle of a fair society, innit. But hey, people who hate "PTA stuff" will never be converted I know.

Basicbrown · 30/11/2016 21:23

like front row seats at the school play

Well anyone can turn up and make tea at the school play. Tbh the committee rarely get a look in on this one

I think op that yabu because working has nothing to do with it. My children like the stuff the PTA organises and to do nothing is rude imo. That isn't to say that we should all live and breathe it, but do something. If people ask for more then they are unreasonable.

alltouchedout · 30/11/2016 21:32

I don't have time. I leave the house before 8am and get home after 7am. My weekends are spent doing all the things I don't have enough time for in the week- laundry, shopping, cleaning, taking the dc to the park etc. I imagine many many parents genuinely don't have the time either.

Wookiecookies · 30/11/2016 21:33

Yep squirrel, take my 💰 shut up and go home, preferably lolloping like a newborn unicorn foal, with the wind in your main and a bottle of wine strapped to your back with the joy of your new found freedom twinkling in your eyes.

You can thank me later

Wookiecookies · 30/11/2016 21:33

Mane.

NoSquirrels · 30/11/2016 21:42

lolloping like a newborn unicorn foal, with the wind in your main and a bottle of wine strapped to your back with the joy of your new found freedom twinkling in your eyes.

I think you may know me

[Random aside: DC1 described a cat earlier (in context of a made-up game) as a "vibrating Wookie", which I thought was awesome]

Wookiecookies · 30/11/2016 21:50

Omg... I may have to steal that If I ever NC!

"Vibrating wookie"

Basicbrown · 30/11/2016 22:01

You don't have enough time to help at one disco or man a stall for one hour at a fete all year...? Don't buy it. I get you can't give it much time or headspace but not being able to do anything is . Most people work, sahps with nothing to do other than bake and go to lunch are very few and far between. And they often don't help with PTA stuff anyway.....

budgiegirl · 30/11/2016 22:09

I imagine many many parents genuinely don't have the time either

It's true that there will be a few that don't have time. But if you have time to go to the summer fair, for example, then you have time to man a stall for 1 hour while you're there anyway.

Our PTA had to threaten to cancel the summer fair due to a lack of volunteers to help on stalls. Eventually they managed to nag/cajole/guilt trip enough people to help, but many parents said that they didn't have time. Funny how those same parents had time to attend the fair though.

bostonkremekrazy · 30/11/2016 22:43

I'm in two minds about the PTA.....

My dd started nursery before the summer, and I just expressed an interest for september. In september I went along to my first PTA meeting - didn't sign up for a role and thought i would just help where i could...

have been to 3 meetings now - which involve the same few women and a lot of waffle - what could be decided in half hour seems to take 3, then the next day an email arrives undoing all the decisions.

the chair seems to do her own thing anyways....

I signed up to do tea and coffee for one thing - turned up and was not needed so stood like a lemon in the corner instead :(

I signed up for the fayre and said i'd have my 4 dc so could sit on a stall to sell - the day before i was told i'd need to rock up at 9am to set up - totally impossible and took the shine off for me - 2 hours with the 4 dc is hard enough!

so i think i'm done :( I did try - the £40 spent keeping the kids quiet/amused at the fayre should count as my bit for the year i think!

ittooshallpass · 30/11/2016 22:54

Squirrel... your plan was good until you said the cash donation has to be inflated! Why?!
I'd be happy to donate a cash equivalent of the 3 hours you think we should do. (Which I'm never going to do).

Our PTA hold fairs at 3.30 on a Friday and then whinges when no one helps or (surprise) turns up at the event!

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