burgled- I blame DH

[miniplaty]

We were burgled 2 weeks ago. Theives broke into our house and stole money, laptop, phones etc. Horrible to think that we were all sleeping metres away. I blame dh. I have been telling him for the last couple of years that our house is too dark. We have 2 outdoor lights but they weren't working. I've tried a couple of times to change them but it's difficult as they're high up. I've repeatedly told him but he has done nothing about it. I am always the one checking that the front door and back door are locked. He never checks. AIBU for being so angry with him?

Of course your DH is not to blame!

Security lights would probably not have made a difference.
You don't need a penis to change a light bulb either. A stepladder, maybe.

You're being quite mean, I think.

What was stopping you arranging someone to fit new lights? Playing devils advocate, I could say it was more your fault as you were the one deemed it a risk and didn't fix it.

YABU, poor guy!

Could you have not made sure the house was well lit?

Don't think it would really have made much difference though.

Ok ok I get it! I an BU. They broke in through the back door, actually broke the lock which is why I think they wouldn't have done it if they were in full view as we live in a terrace. Why haven't I changed the bulbs? I've tried, I simply could reach even with a ladder, I'm very short I suppose I should have bought a longer ladder

I know someone who used to be an ex-burglar, he would carry around a slingshot for lights. He says the only thing that would put him off an house was an alarm system but if he was really desperate he would give it a try anyway, then run if he set it off.

The only people to blame are the burglars. Your husband is probably feeling shitty as it is without being blamed for a criminal's actions.

We were burgled at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, light doesn't stop them

Most burglaries happen in the day time.
Nothing to do with light.

YABU the ones to blame are the burglars.

You could have just said "right DH, let's change them now". Got the ladder and bulbs, job done.

My mother has some very effective alarms if you would like some ideas, lights only help you see what's going on, it won't stop them from breaking in. A medium to big sized dog does though, a couple even better ☺ My mother was one of the few not burgled when the was a wave of such going on a couple years ago, she has 3 Boxers!

Mini definitely blame the burglars. We were burgled in broad daylight at about 2pm - they jemmied open a window at the back of the property, which was a terraced house overlooked at the back by another terrace.

You can't blame Dh for the lights when you knew also. A 2 min call to an electrician and they could have come and fixed for you.

The lock was broken so not an issue of forgetting to lock door either

For your replacement locks, I recommend getting banham if possible as harder to break and get non glass doors

Now you know YABU, have you apologised to your dh for being angry with him for the last 2 weeks?

Yes, I am BU. Thank you all for making it clear in my head.I'm just so angry, how dare they come into my house and take my stuff. A few friends have mentioned dogs, maybe that's even better than an alarm

Vampire burglars?

Still get an alarm. Also door and window alarms are piss easy to fit.

They take the kitchen window out around here. The thought terrifies me.

Give your bloke a hug, its not his fault even though all those irritating things he does have come up to the surface. He probably feels bad enough about being asleep when intruders were in the house around his family.

Oh Miniplaty, I'm so sorry you were burgled.

We were burgled this time last year, the police said it's very common this time of year and he's had calls to houses where burglars have stolen Xmas gifts, unwrapping gifts and leaving behind stuff that doesn't interest them.

I figured thank god it was our house that year (we don't celebrate Xmas I'm Muslim) & not some poor family with a house full of gifts. Would have been heartbreaking.
Altho they stole DP's new PS4, a birthday gift.

Burglary at ours happened during broad daylight, they broke in the back door, must have spent a good long while breaking thro our double glazed back door. They left a huge mess and the feeling of being violated was awful. DC we're scared for ages and wanted to move (& I think they hurt the cats as well).

I know a little of what you must be feeling. I hope your stuff can be replaced thro insurance. Try not to be angry at your DH, it was bad luck they hit your home. Thankfully you're all safe and unhurt, that's the important thing.

I'm glad you've got the message that he's no more to blame than you 😬

Hopefully you can see that having lights doesn't make any difference at all, otherwise day light burglary wouldn't happen.

There are things you can do to deter them (noisy gravel under windows & in front of doors, prickly plants under windows, security lights (rather than constant lights, dogs etc) because they'll pick the easiest target, but at the end of the day, if they want to get in, they will.

I'm sorry it happened to you, it must be very scary to know they were in the house when you were sleeping xx

Burglars are fucking bastards. That's really all there is to it.

we also got done in broad daylight and it is HORRIBLE. I entirely understand your anger but it is directed in the wrong place.

you need to upgrade your security before you replace anything because I'm afraid they will probably be back. Once they've tried again and can't get in they will go elsewhere.

that breakable lock was your weak point. If there are still crime prevention officers, get one round to check the place over.

a dog is a very high maintenance and expensive crime prevention measure.

So sorry this happened to you. It's awful.

Glad you have seen that balding dh isn't fair and yiu can get through this together.

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable.
You asked him to change the lights repeatedly (because you couldn't, and I don't blame you - I hate heights too), and he can't be bothered to lock the front/back door. That's just slack and irresponsible - almost childlike.
There's no doubt that lights act as a deterrent, but obviously it's too late to know if they would have been effective in your case.

I'm sure I read somewhere, lights just make it easier to break in because burglars can see better. The problem with alarms/lights is that those hearing the alarm/seeing the lights just think it's you going into your own house or accidentally going off. Definitely blame the burglars. (Have been broken into in broad daylight)