Alcohol and baby

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I've name changed for this as I don't want anyone in real life knowing. Please tell me if I'm over reacting.

We have a 4 month old baby and last night I went out for a rare night out with friends leaving the baby with my husband. I got a taxi home about 1am and my husbands friend is just leaving our house. I get in and my husband is drunk, drunker than me and I was the one on the night out. I was absolutely fuming. Am I right that it's just not ok to be drunk when you're in sole charge of a small baby??
I'm annoyed on a couple of counts;
One he just shouldn't have been drunk whilst looking after our baby.
Two he goes out nearly every weekend and I couldn't just have one night off and lie in??
I'm up with the baby after a couple of hours sleep and he's in another room sleeping
I just feel like I can't trust him now to even look after his own son. I felt awful last night that our poor baby didn't even have one sober parent to look after him. If id have known he was going to get drunk I never would have gone out.

Honestly I think you might be overreacting. I don't think your baby was really at any risk of harm.

I get why you're cross though.

Kill him

heavily pregnant and unreasonable

I'd feel exactly the same as you. He probably hasn't even considered how you feel, maybe try and calmly explain your side of things when his hangover subsides. You should of course be able to go and let your hair down wlthout worry or concern and it's extremely selfish of him to not face up to his responsibilities. Chances are he doesn't even realise this is a problem as I'm sure my husband wouldn't. Once the rage calms try and explain how you feel. Hope he gives you a nap later! X

I should add that baby still gets up for night feeds so would have a steaming drunk dad feeding him. I genuinely think it's not safe to look after a baby when you're that drunk

I agree with you. I know nothing happened but it could have. When you have a night out you are often thinking and maybe worrying about your baby anyway, if you add worrying about your husband being drunk it will spoil precious time off.

I wouldn't have been okay with this as worst case scenario if an emergency occurred he wouldn't have been able to deal with it. I also think he did it intentionally so now it will put you off going out.

How drunk was He?
What had he had to drink ?

If he goes out drinking every weekend without you it sounds a bit sad , how old are you both?

I'd be worried too op

Was the mate getting into a taxi as drunk though?

Yanbu. At all.

He sounds incredible selfish and possibly has an alcohol problem.

Totally agree with you. Completely unacceptable

Yanbu. Yes one or two drinks but getting drunk whilst in charge of a baby! Not good.

I don't think YABU, if you're in charge of the baby, one or two drinks fine but don't get steaming drunk.
That's completely unacceptable

I agree with you OP, it's not appropriate at all to drink (a lot) when you are supposed to be caring for your child. Completely understand how angry you are YANBU. Hopefully your DH will understand and agree not to do it again so you can still enjoy the odd night out.

YANBU.

He should not be drunk in sole charge of the baby.

Also it's incredibly selfish to not let you have the lie in.

Although - how about you make sure he gets up tomorrow, assuming he's recovered enough to be capable.

How often does he drink? It sounds like he has a drink problem.

We're 29 and 31. We haven't been out together yet as no one else has looked after the baby and I'm really not fussed about going out drinking every weekend anyway. I'd rather go for lunch and walks with the baby. He only drinks at weekends but I'm pretty sure every time he drinks he gets drunk which I suppose could indicate a problem. I asked him not to drink towards the end of my pregnancy and he didn't but complained about it a lot.

He said he'd had 4 beers and I told him he was lying and he then admitted to 10 but I think he might have had more than that still. His friend was drunk too and on his way home.

Of course YANBU. He shouldn't have got drunk and he also shouldn't have invited someone else to come round and get drunk either. His priority was meant to be the baby's welfare. How can he ensure that when he is drunk?

yoho I don't think it would have been intentional. He's clearly a selfish bastard but he's not calculating like that.

I agree with you OP, he can't be left drunk and in charge of a child.

I would have been beyond angry.

With that level of alcohol though it will take a while before he is sober enough that you can talk about it.

Good luck

I'd be fuming.

Did he resent you going out? Might he have fucked up on purpose to show you that he is unreliable, leaving you to draw the conclusion that you won't leave him in charge again, and by extension, not go out?

My first reaction is he sabotaged your night out by getting so drunk he won't have to stay in with the baby on weekends.

Look at it another way. If you'd gone out together and found your babysitter shitfaced (sorry for wording - I have a dislike for drunks) when you got back, how pleased would you be? Ask DP how pleased he would be in this situation.
This happened to us with MIL.
She never babysat again. (And died of alcoholic liver disease years later, surprise, surprise. Not. )

No, YANBU. He got away with it because nothing happened to the baby, but if anything had gone wrong, the baby had thrown a temp or something else, then he couldn't have dealt with it, even supposing he'd noticed it in the first place.

Pretty sure it counts as neglect to be drunk in sole charge of a baby.