To be pissed he's not home yet

[Mehfruittea]

DH went out with work friends for their xmas meal today. His work usually have 4 different get togethers for team, dept, whole company etc. He finished at 2pm and had a meal booked. It's been planned for ages. But...

He went out on Wednesday night so I had to do everything by myself, get tea done, feed child bath and bed etc. Thursday I had to take DS to a birthday party that was 1 hr drive, then 2 hrs and 1 hr back. Today I had to take him to an after school club that involves another 1hour drive each way plus 1 hour while there. Then tomorrow we have a meal with friends that has been planned for a very long time, plus football and school fair. Argh! I'm disabled, suffer from chronic pain and am currently going through withdrawal from fentanyl (that's another thread). I'm so fucking tired. And I'm losing my job right now so been very stressed, not sleeping. Had an interview today which I had to travel for. My plate is fucking full.

So I spoke to DH at 5pm and told him I was feeling really unwell and struggling. Could he come home within next 2 hours? Yes, I'll call you in an hour, he said. So I hoped he'd be home by 7. I could finish bath time and hand over to DH to do the bedtime, which is a total fucking nightmare. It's now 9.15pm DS still awake. "What if my gloves don't fit me when I'm 10?" DH phone is off, no call since 5pm. AIBU? He doesn't actually go out that often, it's just this week has turned in to a shitstorm of clashes.

Am glad the Santa-ing was a success meh

Soooo, why DO Santa & Mr Meh have the same phone then?

Glad to hear op!
I think you've done so well considering you're going through withdraw, i was an angry, blubbering wreck for 2 days
It's hard for people not suffering to understand
Have you tried taking magnesium for spasms? I was told in my support group and didn't think it would work but the reduction i've had is amazing x

max what?

Thanks guys! And max I'm not biting...

I'm taking magnesium but only started last month and just 100% for daily dose. Not sure if it would be more? I also take pregabalin so that helps loads.

I'm on day 16 of withdrawal now so hopefully in the clear. I think the cocktail of meds I have now is the best I can do. I'm tweaking now to find the balance between relieving the pain and reducing my cognitive functions. I get massive brain fog and don't know if it's my symptoms, side effects of meds, or working-mum-with-shit-loads-to-do syndrome.

for everyone and Merry Christmas!!

I got brain fog on pregablin and it's sisters drug too.

I've heard magnesium is well absorbed through the skin and know a few MS ladies who swear by rubbing it into their legs. A lotion I guess?

I take Gabapentin. After some initial teething problems with feeling groggy and spaced out, it's done wonders for my neuropathy.

I'm gutted pregablin and the other didn't work for me.

kali110 - all pregabalin & gabapentin do for me is cause me to gain weight (that then refuses to shift) at a terrifying rate (with no change to diet/exercise) - we're talking 9.5kg (a stone & a half) in a month!!!

It was almost tempting to go back on them when pain consultant suggested them simply to bring my weight back up. But I don't think it would REALLY be very sensible, even if it's how I got all talk of feeding tubes stopped that time around...

Omg i had no idea they caused weight gain

I tried gabapentin first but found pregabalin worked for me. My consultant warned of weight gain - in a very direct way. She said "don't put extra food in your mouth and you won't put weight on." I was really careful from the start and have gained only when I know I've been eating too much.

As someone who has to track exactly what they eat (inc liquid calories) for me I know the pregabalin/gabapentin weightgain = very definitely not about what I eat. On gabapentin I even started gaining weight when post-op (from second major surgery in fortnight) & eating max 1000kcal/day!!!!!!! (Local hospital = abysmal at feeding me...)

Not everyone gains weight though, kali110, so if you've not identified it yourself I wouldn't worry about it.

I have

I definitely gained weight but only 12 months after I started pregabalin so I assume it is all the cake I eat!

How are you both doing today? I've had a good couple of days. I'm enjoying the very cold sunny days.

Whereas my weight piled on immediately & at an insane rate... and there is a sad paucity of cake here due to anaphylactic dairy allergy...

I managed to get out for a couple of hours on Sunday & went a-stomping for sake of bonemass & to try to rebuild some of lost muscle[-tone]. Still feeling rather wiped (& VERY grumpy about this) today.

High end of my functional ability = ballet class up to 5 days a week. I've not been to class for weeks now. Frankly the last two years have been decidedly rubbish, but I'm trying to pretend there has absolutely not been a permanent decline in my health.

Routine ECHO + a 24h ECG for me at end of this week; and annual trip to see the haem team at start of next. Funtimes.

Am almost starting to think I might get through this year without any hospital admissions. Nope. Too much like tempting fate. Especially given I spent most of December in hospital last year and barely managed to get myself discharged for Christmas. The nursing staff were amazed I managed it - they'd been expecting me to be in at New Year, never mind Christmas... I was a VERY poorly Zebra...

Oh dear Zebra I hope you manage to stay out of hospital this year!

I'm currently at home on full pay while my employer works out how to fire me. For real. Waiting for my solicitor to give me feedback on progress for my request to return. I took advantage of the enforced break to go through withdrawal, and I do feel now like I'm over the worst now.

I can't imagine a world without cake - poor you. If dairy is the problem, does that mean *whispers - no chocolate either??

Love and for you xx

Pauvre meh... that must just be... constructive dismissal? I can lend you my Stomping Hippos if you'd like? I've found having a herd of imaginary pygmy hippos live in my garden shed ready to go forth & Stomp is v therapeutic. They enjoy Stomping To Music, particularly in tap shoes or Irish hard shoes. (G'wan now, you know imagining that's made you smile...)

There is some cake - just less of it than the norm. And often when provided by others it is gluten-free & tastes of sadness & disappointment. But chocolate is MUCH harder. Especially as I do not like dark chocolate. Tesco do yummy death-free white chocolate buttons though...

Op your employers sounds as good as my old ones
I'm currently in bed! Bad days

So I'm trying to be positive today. I was up for 2 hrs last night with DS, then up at 6.30 with him. Today is my first day unemployed. DH has another works xmas do that he wants to go to tonight. Feel like I need to start a part 2 of this thread.

I'm shattered, not slept and barely functioning. If he goes out, he will be home for 45 mins before going out again. We need a school shirt and trousers ironed in that time, my condition affects all my joints and so I can't hold the weight of an iron to do it myself.

It's his turn to do bedtime with DS - rest I need as Friday is always really tough for me. He has an after school club 1hr away so I spend 3 hrs driving and sitting. I need to rest up to do this. I will have to step in and do bedtime if he goes out.

Then there is the inevitable lost sleep through him coming home late, drunk, snoring, falling out of bed etc.

And finally, he has just started a new job (with the same company) and today is his first day. So he will potentially go in on his 2nd day with a steaming hangover.

And the cash. I'm unemployed ffs and he can't control his spending when drunk. He can forget to call me but doesn't forget his PIN.

AIBU to just say no?

No your nbu

He's been out enough

After the last time he can fuck right off.

He needs to step up as a parent and miss this night out.

If he absolutely insists on going and gives you no option, he takes £20 and leaves his card at home. But if he has any respect for you at all, he will listen to you and stay home

Selfish arsehole

I really think you need to put your foot down. If he persists then either hide or cut up his cards.

It's pretty cold outside too - would be a shame if the door was locked when he got home...,

Definitely take his card off him if he goes out. But if he has any kind of conscience he'll stay home.

Ok I'm ready to put my fit down!

It's pretty cold outside too - would be a shame if the door was locked when he got home..., don't tempt me!!

You might want to clear your history if you're going to feign innocence though!

Yay! He's not going out! *does the not going out dance.

And my foot has stayed firmly up - no downwards stomping required.

I'm glad he's been reasonable about it. He really is a nice man, with occasional dickish tendencies. Looking forward to an early night now with and .

Thanks everyone! Xx