Teacher making comments relating to pupils periods?

[Meadows76]

Fuck. DD came home today and casually (whilst ranting about her English lesson) mentioned that her teacher had said something about her mood and what week it was. I can't remember the exact wording of it, but it was a direct dig at the fact that she may be on her period, which as it happens, she is.

Totally out of order?

Meadows

Good luck with this but please re-read what has been said with an objective head.

She says the comment was made. Again, you don't even know what the comment was. You are asserting that a number of other students remember what was said but I can't see how you can possibly have ascertained that. You yourself don't remember what your daughter says was said, so I can't say I can imagine the comment is as memorable as you are relying on it being (otherwise you would remember it yourself).

But anyway, enough from me.

She says the comment was made. Again, you don't even know what the comment was. something along the lines of ignore X she has been moody all week must be on her period. But perhaps worded like ignore X she must be on her period she has been moody all week.

I know that. Which order the words were in precisely DD will be able to clarify.

You are asserting that a number of other students remember what was said but I can't see how you can possibly have ascertained that. because my daughter told me who was at her table and that they talked about it after as in 'omg I can't believe he said that'

As a Chair of Governors, please ignore those minimising this and those recommending DD should stand up for herself with a 'smart' answer. I'm all for young people defending themselves but it's not appropriate in this case and will result in the teacher having ammunition for his defence.

You should absolutely go straight to the Head and the Chair of Governors - if this was in my school I would take immediate action - and also take action if I discovered this had happened and the Head had not informed me. What you have posted here is more than ample grounds to complain.

Heads have a duty to report all complaints to the Governors - some Heads interpret this as only complaints addressed to them personally. This is why I always recommend going to straight to the Head as any parental complaint should be properly investigated

Thank you. Thank you very much :)

Meadows I'd really like to commend you on all the things you're doing right here. You listened to your daughter. You believed her, and got outraged on her behalf. You showed her that you'll back her, that you won't minimize things for a quiet life.

I love that you're taking this to the head, too. I love the way you're channeling your outrage through appropriate channels - which as a PP said is good because smart backtalk gives him ammunition for his defense, and also good because you're modeling for DD how to deal with situations like this in the most constructive way available to her.

I hope you don't find patronizing. I'm very much applauding the way you're handling this.

Thank you, it is actually nice to see that some people are understanding. At points in this thread I have really felt like banging my head against the proverbial wall. I really appreciate your post :)

Ignore the nitpickers, Meadows - you know that the teacher made a comment about your dd's period, and that is unacceptable. The fact that you can't bring the exact phrase to mind right now, does not make it any less unacceptable.

Just want to echo what Jessica said. You have been standing up for your daughter the whole way through this thread, despite some of the (frankly ridiculous) excuses that people have been offering for the teacher. There is absolutely no way your daughter or any of her classmates should be expected to listen to nonsense like that from a teacher, or any adult. We should be expecting and demanding better for the next generation, instead of expecting them to put up with stuff just because we did.

Smart backchat could have got her in a whole world of trouble, so good to see you're ignoring that suggestion.

I hope you get a proper hearing from the headteacher

Hurray for you, OP.

That is absolutely unacceptable. Well done for standing up for your DD. (Find it really weird that a few on here are saying that she might be lying- why would you think that?!)

A comment like that is completely unacceptable, and I think you are doing completely the right thing by going to the head.

I agree wholeheartedly with your actions and am a teacher in charge of pshe. This is the sort of sexist bollocks we need to stamp out.

So what happened, Meadows?

Did you get that teacher sacked?

Facts, please.

I was talking to my son's friend's Mum the other day and she was laughing that her son had started to ask things like was she on her period if she was cross with him. He is 10 and apparently copies his Dad. I was horrified, and probably didn't really hide it.

It is such a sexist thing to do, with the net effect of undermining and belittling the target. My son's friend is actually quite a nice boy, but I have heard him say a lot of very dismissive things towards women and girls and it makes me and .

OP, I hope you got things sorted and the school took it seriously.

That looks like a bit of a nasty dig, Nature. I don't see anywhere where the OP has referred to wanting the teacher sacked!

The OP has made it very clear that the teacher made a reference to her dd being on her period, in response to the girl being grumpy with her friend. The OP could not remember the exact words her dd reported the teacher had said, but did know he had made direct mention of her being on her period.

I cannot see how anyone would think that it is OK for a teacher to make a comment like this to a teenage pupil. I think that the OP is doing exactly the right thing by making an appointment for her and her dd to talk to the head teacher about this.

As far as I can see, the OP has made no reference on here to the outcome she wants/wanted from this meeting, although she did say that a public apology would embarrass her dd, so I assume she won't want that.

I really do not know why the OP has been on the receiving end of such unpleasantness on this thread, for being appalled that such a comment was made to her dd, and for wanting to tackle it with the school in an appropriate and proportional fashion.

Why do people feel the need to make up things that are simply not in any of an OP's posts?

SDTG I made a comment about a teacher's specific behaviour on a thread about 5 years ago, and the OP hounded me across the boards for about 6 months, popping up on every thread I was on and having a go.

I think she name changed, and sometimes I see someone's writing style (relentless, dog with a bone) and wonder if it is the same poster.

She was a very staunch defender of teachers and seemed to think that absolutely no teacher could ever be wrong, and to comment on one teacher's behaviour was a diatribe against the entire profession. Seemingly hunted the Boards vigilante style for crimes against teachers!

That sounds horrible, Beryl. I'm sure most teachers are decent, hard working people, and I have the greatest respect for them - but there are bad apples in every barrel, and it does the profession as a whole, and the decent teachers NO favours to deny that bad teachers exist.