Do you judge? Toddler tantrums

[Zaratall]

Oh my goodness I was that mum yesterday.

I've got two dc. My first was pretty much an angel, the second, not so much.

I can remember taking ds1 to swimming lessons and there was a woman with a baby that would high pitched scream the whole time and end up being fed crisps. I felt for the mum but secretly thought there must be something she could do. Having had a clam quiet child myself.

Now karma has come back to bite and I'm that mum.

My 17 month old spent yesterday's swimming lesson high pitched screaming. I took him out of the pushchair but he wanted to go in the water. Sat on the floor screaming when I wouldn't let him drown.

Screamed when I tried to put him back in. Wouldn't sit still on my lap. Books and toys are a waste of time, he chucks them on the floor. A lifeguard came over and gave me some water toys for him, but he decided he wanted to play the 'throw it across the floor and scream for mummy to pick it up' game. I wasn't playing so he screamed. Held him and walked around but he wants to pull my glasses off.

In the end I left and pushed him around the foyer and he didn't calm down.

I was so embarrassed I must have looked like such a crap parent.

No I wouldn't blink an eyelid. I'd just be glad it wasn't my dc!

You were obviously trying to calm the situation so I think most parents would think "been there done that"

No, I very rarely do. The only time I have was when I witnessed a mum screaming at her toddler really aggressively with loads of swear words. Toddler jumped in a puddle and got her trousers wet. I realise that she may have had a long day of toddler behaviour, but the finger in the face, fucking little bitch language had me judging my arse off.

Most of us have been there and don't judge! Anyone who does either had an easy kid or only has a baby. You will grow a thicker skin and not care soon!!

No never! I normally feel a kinship and it reminds me mine is normal! Ds is 3 now and has got worse! Don't usually feel judged either. People are either sympathetic or laugh!

Nope I don't judge as I'm just happy it isn't my child.

That should have said he did eventually calm down in the end when I pushed him into the foyer.

I'm usually quite thick skinned but he was a right handful. He's so unbelievably loud too.

No I wouldnt because you held him, walked him around and then left for the foyer when he didn't calm down. You were clearly a parent trying!

I do sometimes judge parents that do nothing. The ones that don't even bother trying

I would only judge a parent not trying to engage with the DC.

I wouldn't of judged you based on that because you done everything you could to try and calm your child.

I only have issue with parents that can't be fucked to parent

Dear god no, no judging from me. I just thank fuck that the tantrum days are behind us.

Watching a toddler tantrum relentlessly in public is also good for any lurking broodiness that I may have so it's a public service in that regard

I used to judge so much before I had kids. My god..what a shock to the system it was when I got the first public tantrum and all of my 'oh she just can't be arsed, something must calm them down, why not just talk to them and find out the problem' etc disappeared and I felt empathy for the many parents I had judged before.

Nope, nothing but sympathy from me. My two were angelic toddlers and never did tantrumming in public (at home quite another matter...) but toddlers are just hard work. If you're trying to restore calm, that's plenty.

No, of course not! The only time I can think of that I have judged a screamy toddler tantrum was when it was taking place in a very naice Michelin star restaurant where we had all paid £££ to enjoy a quiet adult lunch!

I try not to judge but I must admit I judged hard when on holiday

Mum, dad and twin girls around 3 years old.

One of the twins was having a tantrum, so mum picked her up chair and all and placed her in the corner facing the wall and went back to eating her dinner.

The poor girl screamed her head off, crying for her mum.

We had to sit there and listen to her scream whilst her mum just sat there and ate. Dad did nothing.

Eventually mum got up and moved to table out of eyesight and dad moved twin back to the table. But the girl only wanted her mum so kept on crying

Was glad to finish eating and get out of that restaurant

No I don't I seem to be always that mum. I have 2 dcs with autism and one that literally screams and shouts when ever we go out.

No, I'd only judge if your buried your face in your phone and let everyone else suffer the noise.

You sound as though you handled it quite well really, considering that sometimes nothing works at all.

No. no way would I - mine still go for high pitched screaming at 12, 11 and 8 (ASD) so I have every sympathy!

Thanks

Very rarely did ds1 tantrum. I was so lucky. I can actually remember the times he did which I could count on one hand. But then I only had him to focus on.

It's a shame really because I wouldn't mind taking the toddler in the water, but it's all closed for lessons.

No. I've often looked at them, but more out of misty eyed nostalgia and pity than anything! Ime most other people feel the same. The only ones to judge are those with no prior experience!

Nope, I never judge.
I look on with my sympathetic 'been there, got the t-shirt' look.
If in a supermarket queue I will do my best to pull faces and chat to the child.
They are usually so shocked they shut up pretty quick and start smiling at me.
Not sure if it's helpful for the parent or not, but they usually smile at me too so I carry on!

I'd never ever judge a parent over a tantrumming child.

I only have a baby but would never judge

Also I may be utterly wrong but isn't ignoring a tantrum a legit way to deal with one? No experience of my own but one of my sisters was the worlds stroppiest child. I remember my mum trying everything - nothing worked. When she gave up and left her to it - bingo, tantrum stopped.