Do you judge? Toddler tantrums

[Zaratall]

Oh my goodness I was that mum yesterday.

I've got two dc. My first was pretty much an angel, the second, not so much.

I can remember taking ds1 to swimming lessons and there was a woman with a baby that would high pitched scream the whole time and end up being fed crisps. I felt for the mum but secretly thought there must be something she could do. Having had a clam quiet child myself.

Now karma has come back to bite and I'm that mum.

My 17 month old spent yesterday's swimming lesson high pitched screaming. I took him out of the pushchair but he wanted to go in the water. Sat on the floor screaming when I wouldn't let him drown.

Screamed when I tried to put him back in. Wouldn't sit still on my lap. Books and toys are a waste of time, he chucks them on the floor. A lifeguard came over and gave me some water toys for him, but he decided he wanted to play the 'throw it across the floor and scream for mummy to pick it up' game. I wasn't playing so he screamed. Held him and walked around but he wants to pull my glasses off.

In the end I left and pushed him around the foyer and he didn't calm down.

I was so embarrassed I must have looked like such a crap parent.

I have judged before, not because the child was screaming; they do that. But because instead of dealing with her child (who was wearing a harness and reigns) she let the child lay face down on the floor screaming as she dragged it along the floor by the reigns in a Tesco.

I get judged alot on the nursery run dc2 hates nursery he's struggling and we need to get a bus there he has autism and melts down alot on the bus on way there he will lie on bus floor screaming I try everything to get him up and calm him down but nothing works. Then I have to try carry him off whilst pushing dc3 pram off too. I hate nursery runs lol.

Amithenormalone- hats off to you. I'm sure you work so hard

I wouldn't have judged you. I don't judge if you can tell it's simply a tantrum, however intense or loud it is.
I judge a parents reaction sometimes! When they are aggressive or swear at the child or Are really overly harsh or cruel. Yep, then my judgey pants are suitably hoiked and I begin to tut!

I judge parents reactions to i feel so sorry for the child when parents are screaming and shouting and swearing at them that's certainly not going to help the situation it just makes the situation a whole lot more intense.

I also sometimes judge when the parent is being really wet too. I hate hate hate it when a child is being a proper little brat but the parent can barely muster a soft "don't do that" in a monotone voice and the child carries on, consequence free! No sympathy for tantrums and awful behaviour then.

I was in a store, trying to buy dc1 and dc2 new winter coats, when dc3 had the mother of all tantrums because I wouldn't buy him some piece of expensive tat.

He cried all around the store, while the older kids were trying on different sizes, all whilst waiting in the queue and when I finally got served he laid down on the floor trying to commando crawl out of his reins and screaming at full volume.

I can't say I was paying much attention to him at that point. I just maintained the iron grip on the reins and got on with it. Things still need to happen.

I don't judge - even if the parent is just getting on with things and not pulling the full performance parenting routine to pass if the judginess of the random unknowns around them.

Pass if = pacify

I could understand someone standing still and holding the reigns until their kid calmed down, but this woman just dragged her kid without looking behind her across like four aisles. I was

When my son is having a meltdown, speaking in a quiet monotone voice is the only thing that calms him down.

Not in that situation, I wouldn't judge, like others on here would judge for shoutiness/swearing/name calling etc.
Would totally have judged pre parenthood.