To think Cocklodger ought to be more widely used word.

[MyPeriodFeatures]

The word cocklodger is greAt. There are so many men who do this yet there is hardly a widely understood word to describe them. I've just come back from a date with a bloke who is clearly a massive cock lodger. It's taken me hours to think it through, what was off about him and why. if the word cocklodger was commonly used I'd have wasted a lot less thinking time.

'Cock Lodger'. Nope sorry, I don't want to see you again, you're obviously a massive cocklodger.

How was he a cocklodger? It is a great word. Just wondered how you went on a date with one?

Surely a cocklodger is someone living with you but not paying their way or doing anything to help (and is a male obviously).

So on first date this will be impossible to be. He could appear lazy I suppose, but not sure how he could fit the definition on first date?

Awful word and very sexist, there's no female equivalent yet the number of women vs men who live with a partner and don't work are predominantly female.

What made him a CL why did you go on a date with him if he was still Cock-Lodging?

Sheldon, I agree the number of women who live with partners and don't work are predominantly female, good for you.

However the point you want to make - (which is, won't someone think of teh poor menz) doesn't stand scrutiny. Cocklodger is someone who doesn't contribute at all -in money or in kind. Do you think there are many women who don't work, who do no childcare at all, no cleaning, don't wash their own clothes, don't cook for themselves? It's possible there are some. This website doesn't tend to have a lot of examples of them, so to believe they exist I'd need evidence of lots of men posting somewhere about how they do all the housework and asking for advice. Do provide links if you have them?

If a parenting website throws up lots of examples of these women (mythical cuntlodgers?) , I guess the site users will come up with a snappy term to describe them, too.

Here on MN there have been so many examples of men doing all the above (or not doing, rather), a word was necessary.

No, just it became apparent through his over sharing of his previous break ups that he was a cocklodger seeking new longings for his cock 😂

Turned up in exs very nice car.

Sexist???!! You can't be sexist about men! There are loads of equivalent word for women. Gold digger, trophy wife, blah blah.

Awful word and very sexist, there's no female equivalent

Er....how about GOLD DIGGER!

yet the number of women vs men who live with a partner and don't work are predominantly female

Yes, but that's usually when they have children and are opting to look after their dc rather than work. Women are more likely to be the sahp.

Anyway, I agree op. I think cocklodgers are far more prevalent than gold diggers.

Yes I agree its a brilliant word but maybe not suitable for use in polite company !
Tell us more about your date.

So perhaps I should tell him no, I won't see you again because you don't respect women and are a cocklodger.

Ok. Cheminotte, He asked me about my worst and best date, how many people I'd slept with, told me about things I didn't want to hear about really. It was a shame as he's extremely good looking, bit posh, outdoorsy, well travelled, knows some of the same people I know, chose a good first date venue. Apart from his preoccupation with sex and our sexual histories and telling me a few things I really didn't want to hear, it was ok.

'He asked me how many people I'd slept with'

He asked me how many people I'd slept with

How did you answer him?

Sexism is prejudice /discrimination against the person on the basis of their sex. Of course it is possible be sexist to men, it's just that women suffer considerably more from sexism across society.

barbarian sexism/racism/ageism is a privileged group having power over an oppressed group.

White people cannot experience racism, men can't be victims of sexism.

Discrimination means something different,

olivia. I said I can't believe you're asking me that!

It depends how you define terms. I was always taught that sexism and racism involve a systematic component. So, for example, while a white person could suffer discrimination from a black police office, they would normally deal with a white complaints' system, judge, lawyer, power structure and ultimately it's not the same experience. While prejudice (and extreme prejudice at that) is totally possible from a black person to a white person, racism defined like this is not.

*officer

I'm sure I've seen the term cuntlodger being used as the female equivalent. There are certainly piss takers of both genders, and I think MN complains about both.

I was always taught that sexism and racism involve a systematic component.

So if a white person were in Nigeria, and called someone the N word, that would not be a racist action?

And if a Chinese person visiting the UK were to remark that non-Chinese are not really humans, that would not be racist, but if they said it in China, it would be?

Cocklodger is indeed a superb word. MN is soooo edjumakayshonull

It's a little more complicated than that Theoretician as I think you may be aware. Are you being a trifle disingenuous?

My neighbour has a cocklodger, and I had one for a short while. The more adept ones make a Truly Massive Show of being Helpful around the place. Until they get their feet under the table, then they revert to type.

In my thirties I dated a cocklodger for about 6/8 weeks. He was living with his mum, no job. She did everything for him. I was willing to give him the benefit of doubt, but soon saw him for what he was. He knew me as I worked in his small town in a high profile job. I had my own house, car etc so he knew he was on to a good thing! He did nothing all day, asked to borrow my car when I was in work, announced "we should go on holiday!" Walked out of a job after two hours because he thought it was beneath him! I was obviously a meal ticket for him. Twenty years later our paths crossed. Still searching for women to look after him until they wise up and still giving the same old excuses about not working. I love the word Cocklodger, it sums him up perfectly!
Someone close to me has taken in a Cocklodger! No job, stays in bed late while she goes to work, does nothing around the house. After being single for a very long time she just seems happy to 'have a man'. Each to their own!

Sheldon in my experience the word thrown at women who don't do paid work (because, you know, raising children and running a house and family is ofcourse without worth ) is "parasite".

Do you think 'once a cocklodger, always a cocklodger?' Or can they reform?

theoretician just because I'm pedantic - it's 'systemic'. Not 'systematic'

White people cannot experience racism

I disagree. White person married to Nigerian, living in Nigeria not given a job due to being white and laughed out of court when they try to sue-not racism?

And while we can differentiate between prejudice and systemic oppression, and usefully so, the emotional impact of the former can be crushing. It certainly isn't to be underestimated.