AIBU to ask DP to come home 'early' after works Christmas Do?

[BeccaAnn]

When I say early, I mean 2am, when there is a bus from the place the do is on to the bus centre where we live (20 miles travel or thereabouts) and I offered to pick him him then.

He wants to stay out until 4/5am 'like last year' except last year he didnt have anything else planned during the weekend and we have my friend of 26 years engagement party on sunday. knowing him he wont be functioning until at the least late sunday night and will essentially sleep of the monster hangover.

AIBU to ask him to come home a 2am instead?

I would assume that if the engagement party was agreed afterwards, then the DH would have said 'oh it might be tricky for me as I already have a Christmas party annex the night before and I'll be knackered' and the OP wouldn't have had an issue with the coming back home late.

Don't worry Ilove, it's just a bit of fun anyway, plus anyone who like Viz is a friend of mine!

I've been meaning to mention Millie Tant and her Mansplaining horn (from this month's Viz), on a few threads already. I've been too scared to though.

Hummus I think what's more likely here is that the OP agreed to the engagement party before discussing it with DP. As she says in her opening post, friend of hers for 26 years, OP would have said yes to this regardless of what DP said.

I'm not judging btw I would have too but I wouldn't have been shocked If DP was a bit pissed off about having to come back earlier than he had planned because of my friends party.

Also engagement parties are often planned within a month following engagement (in my experience) and Christmas dos are normally planned quite a bit in advance so would be surprised if the party came first tbh

Then the issue has nothing to do with asking him to come back late but everything to do with being able to communicate with your partner and not saying they will do x and y wo asking them first.

Tbh it didnt even cross my mind that the OP could have said yes wo talking to her DP first. I would never do that myself, just out of simple politeness. Plus DH might well have had something planned anyway.
Same than I would ask him before planning something (and I am expecting the same in reverse!) for myself to be sure it doesn't clash with something for him/there wil be someone to look afer the dcs etc...

As for the DH sulking and making it hard for the OP.... really? Are they adults able to talk to each other or still children on the playground?

Hummus I think in my situation it's a bit different, we work together and have the same circle of friends so would be really unusual for a night out / party to be arranged without the other knowing. I've often said yes to work dos without asking him, as has he. The other doesn't have to go if they don't want to.

It sounded to me that the OP wasn't really willing to budge on the friends party, which is why I wandered about whether her DP was consulted prior to accepting the party (and I kind of thought from her posts that it was a situation of: FRIEND "omg I'm getting married! My engagement party is x date" OP "oh of course we'll be there! Wouldn't miss it") And also which event was planned first.

lol love this, ok so my DH's party was announced about 2 weeks before the engagement party, when the party was announced I told him when it was and the time, he agreed to it, I then said yes to the invite.
he then forgot (easily done) and said he was going to be out all night until I reminded him that he had already agreed to the other party and I suggested 2am would be ok as there would be still lots of time to get over the hangover. he then changed his mind and said he'd come home at 11 ish as the 'usual' lot that go out that late are not doing so this year.