AIBU to send DS in Non-uniform?

[ABitCrapReally]

DS has started reception this year. He loves school and so far I've been equally happy with the way things are done.
He's an average student (I believe), he's never going to be top of the class, but that's fine with me.
The children are awarded 'house points' for academic or sporting achievements etc.
Yesterday's parent mail says children who have 25 or more house points may wear non-uniform on the last day of term before Christmas 'as a treat'.
I'm really, really pissed off with this idea. DS may or may not reach the 25 house points, but if he doesn't would I be unreasonable to send him in non-uniform anyway?
He already is aware that he has less points than others and it does upset him a bit (but I tell him that's life and you can't always be the best/top)
I just think making it so obvious who the 'achievers' are is just rubbing it in to be honest.

Whaaaat, WeAreUglyButWeHaveTheMusic and babynumber3eek ?

Mine were supremely academic at that age, very precocious at mark-making in corn flour and re-enacting the vowel sounds. You should have seen their play-dough art and their watching-the-beans-grow-ability was second to none!

Is that not discrimination against those children with learning and coordination difficulties.

It's not just reception! It's a school reward. And yes,reception is included in houses,rewards,activities etc as they are part of the school. Reception children will share assemblies,plays,corridors and playgrounds with other classes,they wouldn't be excluded from rewards ,and neither should they.

Awwlook: By that measure all prizes are discriminatory. But that's not how the world works. We have the Olympics, Nobel prizes, competitions in any field imaginable. Should we just give up on recognising particular achievement because we can't recognise it in everyone?

Awwlook I assume the "etc." In the op offers opportunities for the children you mentioned to gain points in other ways,because to be honest in reception there is not a lot of room for academic and sports achievements. They're still learning to put their coats on and hold a pen properly ffs!

This is why i like the ClassDojo system.

Points are given on an individual level for everything from sitting nicely, completing work and being nice, to academic, sporting and personal achievement, and rather than be split into houses they only 'compete' against their own yr group.

So say on sports day, children like my DS (autism, dyspraxia) are given points for cheering their friends, sitting nicely, lining up, participating...etc, while the sporty ones get them for winning races, good sportsmanship, effort and so on.

The pupil in each class with the most points gets a little certificate at the end of each term.

I dislike houses, we had them at my secondary school and it was really only sports that got you points, so academics like myself were constantly the butt of the more sporty peoples jeering and bullying because our ineptitude lost house points.

I am right. Promise. Schools aim to build children up by setting challenges then rewarding success. Teachers are not monsters. They go out of their way CONSTANTLY to be positive and praise (even the naughty little dots! ). Their professional development and careers are measured by things like NOT discriminating for academic prowess and ensuring ALL children flourish regardless of SEN etc etc.

Although I hope the majority of posters are correct, I can understand op's concern.

DS is now 14, according to virtually all his teachers, past and present, he is a pleasant young man, a pleasure to teach, a credit to me, they would love to have a class full of 'ds's name' - but he is disabled with unspecified learning difficulties on top. He struggles academically and no matter how hard he tries he will rarely produce work which is anywhere near that which is expected for his age.

He has always struggled to gain house points, when he was younger he may have managed in a year the same number of house points as many gained in half a term. Now, his school has a website I can log onto and see any rewards or sanctions he has had. Since September he has had one sanction (fair enough, he forgot maths equipment) and no rewards, despite having a really positive parents evening. I suspect the only reason I don't have a school refuser on my hands is because he is a people pleaser at heart and does not like to get into trouble. And no, lack of house points is not the only reason, but when you are working to the very best of your ability and getting into trouble for not producing suitable work, when you see others not seeming to work as hard but getting lots of house points it is extremely demoralising, and when it starts in reception and follows you all the way through school, it isn't surprising that certain children just give up.

Sorry, a bit of a rant I know, but op, I really do understand where you are coming from.

Cherryskull. You have described the way house points are awarded in every primary school I've worked in. Class Dojo is merely an electronic house points system... Your description of your experience sounds far more secondary school...

MiaowTheCat

That is a fantastic idea. My sister is a teacher - would you mind awfully if I gave her that idea?

I think accepting that we are good at different things is an important part of healthy development. I was academic, so I got prizes for that. I wasn't sporty, couldn't dance, wasn't fast, wasn't dramatic. For that matter I wasn't pretty, funny or popular either

When we stop recognising kids for their individual achievements in some misguided attempt to level the playing field, it can be counter-productive in my opinion. It makes them think everyone is the same, which we're not, and it makes them value their individuality less.

Awwlook: By that measure all prizes are discriminatory. But that's not how the world works. We have the Olympics, Nobel prizes, competitions in any field imaginable. Should we just give up on recognising particular achievement because we can't recognise it in everyone?

Olympic medals and Nobel prizes are given for genuine achievement.
A 5yo being slightly more mature than a 4-and-half yo is hardly an achievement. I'm not even mentioning those with medical conditions.

Nataleejah: The point I was responding to wasn't about the age of the children involved.

Nataleejah: And I think maturity in a young child is a genuine achievement. So is working hard and learning well. They may be 4 and 5 but it's Reception, not nursery.

Development isn't achievement. Just like being taller.
Plus, in the same class you may have a whole year of age difference between kids. Massive difference if you count growth and development as achievement.

Of course I don't mean general growth and development. I mean making an effort to follow instructions, being kind and sensible, trying hard every day. It is true that kids won't all do those things at the same time but does that mean we shouldn't recognise their efforts? Bit sad really, if we have come to that.

Weareugly you're wrong. I am listening to babynumber3. I sincerely hope she is correct and I'm worrying about nothing.

How can I be wrong?

We're saying the same thing!

That's really crap. They are reception age. There will be tears on the day as the kids in uniform won't understand what they did wrong. Yanbu at all.

Weareugly - I think (hope) the op is listening to US (fingers crossed) but I'm slightly (understatement) concerned by the numbers of posters who genuinely think schools would leave kids out!!!!

Maybe we could offer Mumsnet house points for people who can read between the ever so complicated lines of primary school rewards?!

FFS.

I cannot believe how little you all think of your children's teachers' professionalism, humanity, compassion and sheer common sense!

I know, baby.

I am actually baffled.

Don't count me in that ! Or actually quite a lot of the pp !

I think the teachers at ds school are amazing and go above and beyond regularly ! Trust them completely . I hate to see the teacher bashing over petty shit that comes up on here

Snowflakes do children that are in uniform on normal non-uniform days cry and wonder what they did wrong as well? And that is more likely to happen,than teachers deliberately excluding just a few kids in a class.

Yeah, sorry clumsyduck. I didn't really mean all

Btw you know what happens when a child is sad because their parents said no to giving them money or forgot and they can't join in in buying a cookie or a wristband or whatever? All the teachers I know either pay for it themselves,or just let them have one. Because they thrive on excluding little kids so much obviously.