Genuinely don't know. AIBU? It's a MIL one!

[Tiggywinkler]

So much backstory with MIL that I could write a novel.

See her probably once a month as she lives 100 miles away. We've had a very conflict-ridden history, but for the sake of DD and DS, I try not to sweat the small stuff and act like a reasonable adult.

So. My AIBU. MIL keeps feeding my children off her fork - as in, removes it from her mouth, stabs a bit of food, and then into their mouths it goes. Makes me want to vomit.

I've asked her nicely not to, but she laughs and continues. I know it's not the hugest of issues, but it's making me feel ill every time I see her.

DH is of the "it's just what she's like" variety. I try not to sit them next to the kids but she moves, and has been known to cry as she feels I'm trying to separate her from her GC.

AIBU? Should I ignore and dry heave quietly at the sink?

Not read the whole thread but my DD still licks the floor or anything she can get her tongue on, that being said, my mums also a heavy smoker and I don't like the idea of her spoon going in my DD's mouth I wouldn't particularly be frantic over it but I would think blergghh. It's a personal preference. If it bothers you tell her to stop in the nicest possible way!
As one of the above posters said, the fact she cries as if you're trying to separate her from her grandchildren is a bigger issue to me.

I would be very reluctant to eat with someone who wanted to feed my children their manly smoky dribble.

I think you need to stop being scared of the petulance and tantrums, and stand up for yourself and your children. It's a sorry state of affairs when a 2 year old toddler is putting up with unacceptable behaviour to keep a grown woman happy. I would keep moving the children away from her, and be very calm about exactly why you are moving the children away.

I know you feel this is a small issue to take a stand about me but actually you don't always have to pick your battles. Sometimes just the act of standing up to someone who is undermining you is enough, whatever the reason, and it stops the other, bigger problems from developing in the first place, because they know you are not to be walked over.

Some people rely on you being too polite to pull them up - give them an inch etc.

She CRIES when you don't sit her next to the GC?

I think some dry heaving at the dinner table is called for.

Your children, your rules. MIL will just have to learn that when it comes to your children, it's your way - no highway option.

What is ot with miles crying about not getting their way?! Are all the dil's really foul to them?!

I'd risk a fork in my hand, because my hand would be physically stopping her. You've asked her nicely, it's time to reinforce. This is not about this small thing, is it, it's about the bigger picture and her not respecting your wishes.