Aibu to expect people to help themselves in their own lives?

[Lazymazy1]

Have wanted to be a social worker for many years, have a degree and was looking to do a MSc.
However, doing voluntary work with a family who are in a very chaotic position, who won't help themselves, ie getting pregnant again whilst effectively homeless. Not taking control of things which will make a big difference in their current situation.

It isn't a case of can't, but won't help themselves, perhaps ingrained.

Am I being unreasonable ? Or are there good reasons why people just won't help themselves?

Needsasock

It was made clear they would be inadmissible. Same for video recordings.

I honestly didn't get, how all available evidence, would not be used if it could help a vulnerable adult.

Thanks frumpet
I just wonder whether having unconditional positive regard for someine helps to make things better. Isn't that what the whole point is? Or is it just to hand hold and get people through the day.

I think the former.

I have reflected and what people have said. I still stand up to my opinions. It may be social works values and what you are taught. But in my opionion, it isn't working.

Who's to say, in 10 years time there won't be a change round in values within social work.
You can all say I'm arrogant, I dont listen, can't empathise etc but that is your view.

One more point on what pp said about my views are all.for the children. The adults were children once.

Firstly, I have friends , of course I have much empathy for their varying situations.
But my main point is adults can speak up for themselves, children can't. They have no option but to ride with the storm , but the adults do have a choice. Whilst adults should be helped, not enabling them and justifing the reasons of poor choices, not expecting people to take responsibility. The cycle continues. So the adult, nor the child benefits.

We can all justify decisions being made and empathise but i dont think this way brings about any change. You have your opinion, of course you think you are right as do I about mine.

Brick wall comes to mind. Ouch

No LazyMary, unconditional positive regard has nothing whatsoever to do with hand holding and getting people through the day , although I also do a lot of that in my job . It is about how you approach people , you can still be honest about their situation and behaviours and how they might have a negative impact on their life . It is about removing your own personal judgement from the situation , this is entirely different from professional judgement .
People are not stupid , they know when they are being personally judged and as humans they fight against it and put barriers up , we all do it in our day to day lives , we choose friends who generally don't judge us personally and fall out with family members who do ! Half the threads on here are about personal judgement , including this one .
It is all about coming at situations where your input doesn't trigger these barriers , because then the job becomes doubly difficult , you have to tackle the barriers before you can begin any work , why make it more difficult ?

It may be social works values and what you are taught. But in my opionion, it isn't working

You obviously have an extremely high opinion of the power of social work, you seem to think it should be able to mend all society's wrongs

You also have a very high opinion of yourself. Believe us, you do not have empathy.

Geez

I'd love to hear from social work recruiters on whether op is likely to be successful

atenco
You also have a high opinion of yourself. You are strangers to me as I am.to you. I know no more about you than you about me. Blimey

Very well I'll word it slightly differently

You've displayed little to no empathy on this thread, you've also displayed intractability, and arrogance regarding the realities of social work.

Fair enough graph

Graph Some of your posts need to come with burn cream

Oh dear.

lazyMary

A great social worker can change the world,a good one can be the bridge a generation requires to make their own changes even a passable one can make a brilliant difference to the families they come into contact with, a bad one increases the issues communities and families and above all children have whilst making life even harder for the passable good and great ones.

You keep on saying but it is not working. What are you actually basing this on?