Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

DH and finances

110 replies

xoxopussycat · 20/11/2016 20:36

So my husband just came to me saying that I need to go back to work (we've got a 4 months old baby) because he needs to remortgage the house and I need to be working full time in order to use my income. It was a bit of a shock as he had this place before we met.

He then said that it was a "interest only" mortgage deal for many years and now he needs to remortgage. His income is not enough so I need to find a full time job ASAP and get a joint mortgage to continue to live here.

I agreed (I didn't think much at the moment) and now I'm having a child care being paid (with my parent's money) so I can go to work and sort out this mortgage.

Now he comes to me and say that I need to contribute at least with £600 because we've got a spare room in his house, and he used to have lodgers living here before we started living together.

So AIBU to think it's unfair? I'm going back to work living my little baby in order to sort out the mortgage of a house that he had before met me, having child care paid by my parents and he wants me paying £600? I'm feeling I'm being used.

OP posts:

MiracletoCome · 20/11/2016 21:40

Have you seen any letters from the mortgage company, we got letters explaining about paying our IO mortgage.

milpool · 20/11/2016 21:42

Wow. He sounds like a dream.

I think going and seeing the mortgage advisor together would be a good idea. Or binning him off and leaving him to sort his shit out.

CoolCarrie · 20/11/2016 21:43

This thread reminds me of a previous one where the op moved in with her boyfriend and he wanted to charge her rent for the spare room in his house as he felt he was losing money having her there.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/11/2016 21:49

I do not understand why he is not factoring childcare costs into his decisions.

Trifleorbust · 20/11/2016 21:54

I do not understand why he is not factoring childcare costs into his decisions.

Maybe because, like every other sexist prick who gets a mention on these boards, he thinks childcare is his wife's problem.

EweAreHere · 20/11/2016 21:56

Are you on the deed to the property?

Maybe you two should take in a student if you have an extra room instead. Going back to work under these conditions and timeframes sounds insane. And his 'needs' sound sketchy.

Lorelei76 · 20/11/2016 21:57

So why haven't you sat down and gone through the figures together? If he says no, something is seriously wrong.

Don't sign anything you haven't read, sorry to state the obvious but I see some weird shit on MN.

MyWineTime · 20/11/2016 21:59

This is all very odd.
I understand the need for 2 incomes to get a mortgage, but I don't understand why you need to remortgage?
And nothing about your financial arrangements makes any sense.
This should all be joint decision making.

JustWantToBeDorisAgain · 20/11/2016 22:00

Has he got debts? Seems a very odd set up where you both need an open and frank discussion about what money you have how it is spent and what you can do to manage the challenges.

Original poster

xoxopussycat · 20/11/2016 22:01

**Today 21:38 Mysterycat23

He needs to remortgage. His income is not enough,

Do you have a joint mortgage OP? Or did DH have it from before you moved in? Asking because if the mortgage is just his then it will be based on his own income only so your earnings wouldn't be needed for the calculations.

Or, does he wants to remortgage in order to borrow more money?

Yes, he's borrowing some money well.

We haven't got a joint mortgage, he had it before I moved in. He said he didn't know that he would need to "remortgage". He thought he only need to increase the payment but not in fact remortgage.

OP posts:

Trifleorbust · 20/11/2016 22:02

What is he borrowing more money for?

Original poster

xoxopussycat · 20/11/2016 22:06

He's got like student loan and also he wanted to finish some bits around the house. And he claims that if he doesn't pay off those debts we won't get the mortgage.

OP posts:

CocktailQueen · 20/11/2016 22:08

He should not need to remortgage - unless he is borrowing more money against the house.

You need to make an appointment with a financial adviser and see him/her together to sort this out. This does not sound right.

MiracletoCome · 20/11/2016 22:08

If he adds you to the mortgage maybe that is a remortgage as the contract is being changed. To do this you will probably have to go through the affordability of it with the bank so he will have to include you in everything. Make sure you go onto the deeds as you are joint owner. I also thought you had to be in a job for six months before you can be considered for a mortgage

stinkyfeet2016 · 20/11/2016 22:10

Christ don't put unsecured debts on to a secured debt!

Please op go and spend some time becoming familiar with what is needed here.

MiracletoCome · 20/11/2016 22:10

I have never heard of people paying off a student loan to be able to get a mortgage

Ahickiefromkinickie · 20/11/2016 22:11

He's lying. Student loan is not classed as normal debt and mortgage lenders do not insist that it be paid off before they consider giving you a mortgage. We got a mortgage and DH and I both have student loans.

Headofthehive55 · 20/11/2016 22:12

No you don't need to pay the student loan.
It sounds like a con.

coolaschmoola · 20/11/2016 22:13

Paying off a student loan with a mortgage would be a bloody stupid thing to do...

MiracletoCome · 20/11/2016 22:13

It sound like he wants to keep the mortgage and house himself and you pay him the money rather than jointly pay the bank. Like a lodger would

AcrossthePond55 · 20/11/2016 22:13

OK, if I understand correctly, your 'family finances' were based on you returning to work soon after the baby was born. Yes, I know you had a C-section but unless it was terribly complicated you should be healed enough to return to work 'as planned'. You don't want to return to work. I understand that but if your family's finances were based on two incomes then I can see why he may feel anxious as it doesn't appear that he earns enough on his own to support the three of you.

I think the both of you need to sit down and have a serious talk about how much it costs to support your family, your DH's income, and for you to get a clear understanding about this remortgaging as well as putting your name on the deeds. It may very well be that you do need to go to work. You won't know that until you understand the finances.

Trifleorbust · 20/11/2016 22:14

Okay, that's bollocks. What he is trying to do by the sounds of it is raise cash against the house (that's why he wants to remortgage) to free himself from some debt (it is unlikely to be his student loan!). You need to get financial advice and you need full disclosure of his finances.

Again, is he proposing to put you on the deeds?

Headofthehive55 · 20/11/2016 22:14

You are being asked to go back to work to pay for these bits around the house. In which case you can do that ad hoc when you do go back.

Trifleorbust · 20/11/2016 22:15

And your parents are paying his share of the childcare

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 20/11/2016 22:18

To me, the urgency of you returning to full-time work sooner than planned & the "need" to remortgage immediately would make me suspicious.

Is the new mortgage with the same lender as the old one?

Could there be a reason he needs to get his hands on a large amount of money quickly? Putting your student loan on to your mortgage wouldn't be a matter of urgency or indeed a matter for most people.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5