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"daddy was doing press-ups on mummy" AIBU to be smarting with embarrassment...
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docomein · 20/11/2016 13:18

DS who is 7 walked in on us in the middle of the night and caught us at it. DH saw him straight away, was right at the point of delivery, DS must have seen a couple of seconds worth though. This morning he saw the neighbour and told her all about it, including a rendition of the funny noises mummy was making which apparently were so loud they woke him up. We were a bit drunk, had just sent the babysitter home. I checked on him in his room and he was sound asleep, closed door.

How can I stop him telling everyone?

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MissVictoria · 20/11/2016 13:22

Honestly, it's not that big of a deal. So a married couple with a child had sex. Quite honestly, some people may well be jealous!

If it is a big deal to YOU though, 7 is more than old enough to understand and respect you asking him not to talk about it. I'm assuming explaining in a none explicit way about love and sex isn't an option? Some children would be mature enough at that age, others wouldn't.

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DonaldStott · 20/11/2016 13:24

Just be thankful you were in the missionary position and not doing doggy style. That would have been far worse.

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IneedAdinosaurNickname · 20/11/2016 13:27

Just burst out laughingin the office. Sorry.

I'd tell him that Mummy and Daddy were having private time and that he shouldn't tell other people about it. Or tell him the truth about what you were doing and explain that he shouldn't tell people.

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docomein · 20/11/2016 13:28

Or soixant-neuf CAN YOU IMAGINE!

I am fine with people knowing we have sex, hardly news of course, but it's the mummy's moaning voices to the elderly neighbour that made my cheeks burn. She did laugh though, and asked DS if he wanted a baby brother or sister, which didn't exactly help the carefully constructed tickling competition answer I had given him.

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BratFarrarsPony · 20/11/2016 13:30

" didn't exactly help the carefully constructed tickling competition answer I had given him."

why on earth would you say that to a seven year old?
he does know where babies come from right?

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diddl · 20/11/2016 13:45

Find it really odd that he told the neighbour about it tbh.

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ChocolateWombat · 20/11/2016 13:46

I suspect he was telling people because he knows what was going on and thinks it was funny.

You can easily say to him that you were having a special cuddle, or whatever you want to call it. Say Mummies and Daddies do it, which is lovely, but it's a private thing and not for telling everyone about - ask him if he understands that.

If you like, say there's lots of private things we don't tell the world about - going to the loo, picking our noses etc.....all perfectly normal, but just not for telling the world about.

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smEGGnogg · 20/11/2016 13:52

Our dd snuck in once and hid under the bed. Neither of us noticed until she started giggling. Fortunately we were well covered by the duvet.

I can laugh about it now...

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2016 13:53

How bizarre

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 20/11/2016 13:54

And very odd comment from the neighbour

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Temporaryname137 · 20/11/2016 13:56

If it helps you, my friend and her husband only realised her 4 year old had come into the room mid-shag when he suddenly yelled, "faster Daddy, faster!"

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docomein · 20/11/2016 13:59

smegg nooo, that's a bad one too!

I don't think seven is particularly old not to know about sex is it? He has asked a couple of times how babies get in the tummy (he wants a brother or sister) and I have given him the first answers about seeds and eggs, but when I got as far as saying the seed came out the man's willy he looked at me as if I were having some sort of brain event and changed the subject. So I guess he's not ready!

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diddl · 20/11/2016 13:59

"I suspect he was telling people because he knows what was going on and thinks it was funny."

Well yes, in which case he needs to know that there are some things taht stay private.

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MargotLovedTom · 20/11/2016 14:00

Shock Temporary

Had to laugh at your user name in the context oyour post OP.

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docomein · 20/11/2016 14:01

temporary brilliantly awful!

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Meadows76 · 20/11/2016 14:02

I'm not sure why you want To stop him telling people, there is a very slim chance he will mention it again, and it's only sex? I mean seriously there is nothing bad about having sex, I'm sure most people would not give it a second thought after hearing a couple had sex, with each other!

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SaltyBitch · 20/11/2016 14:03

Considering that some girls are starting periods at 8, I think a sex talk should be happening fairly soon OP!

I too would be concerned about why he feels he cal tell the neighbours. You'd expect that of a tiny one, not a 7 year old.

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GinAndOnIt · 20/11/2016 14:07

It could be worse. When I was a nanny, a child told me that mummy had done a huuuuuge poo and was bleeding in her knickers. A few days after telling me that daddy had a great big caterpillar that wobbles when he walks. The parents are oblivious to these conversations though, luckily!

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SoupDragon · 20/11/2016 14:08

I am fine with people knowing we have sex, hardly news of course

It will be when the Daily Mail find the thread and publish it, which if you're new you might not realise.

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VintagePerfumista · 20/11/2016 14:09

Agree with diddl.

What an odd thing for him to tell the neighbours.

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Temporaryname137 · 20/11/2016 14:10

My friend thought it was funny, fortunately!

My little brother must have been listening when my DM gave me "the talk" (using bulbs and seeds as an analogy), because he piped up at the sainsbury's checkout: "has that bulb dropped out of your front bottom yet, mummy?"

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hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 14:12

It is weird for a seven year old tbh.

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nokidshere · 20/11/2016 14:15

To those of you who think it's odd that a 7 year old is telling everyone it really isn't! I have looked after children for over 35 years and, just because you don't hear them doesn't mean they aren't telling everyone Wink

I currently childmind 6-10 year olds and believe me, I know pretty much everything that goes on in their homes Grin

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docomein · 20/11/2016 14:16

He was having a reading lesson with the neighbour and was telling her why he was so tired. I said yes, unfortunately we woke DS up when we came in late and that's when DS piped up.

salty I appreciate girls will be starting periods (I have told him about periods) but I don't really see why this means I have to push the sex convo forward. Maybe other just sevens are more worldly, DS doesn't listen to anything he doesn't want to know about, so I could tell him a thousand times to no avail. I suppose he'll work it out eventually Grin

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hollyatchristmas · 20/11/2016 14:16

That's a childminder though. Although it depends on the relationship you have with the neighbour. I'd expect it to a childminder or teacher as they spend several hours in their company.

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