To repay him the £2.80 in pennies (the tightfisted fucknugget)

[RedStripeLassie]

I called to check he'd posted some of dds clothes I ebayd on the way to work yesterday, which he did and he texted 'the postage is £2.85'. I didn't reply but when he's left the post office recipt carefully placed on my bedside table before he went to work! It's not as if I'm spending the sale on myself. It'll go on more clothes for dd.

Would I be unreasonable to find the grubby old tin full of pennies we take on holiday for the arcade games and leave £2.85 exactly in pennies on his bedside table?

Yes petty and yes lighthearted but it's fucked me off!

Yes it is Mindtrope.
To think of the neglect of this child while her father who goes to work and spends it all on drugs........
Makes me angry.

You really don't have to apologise red, but I think that it might make some posters reluctant to support/advise you in the future if they believe you don't really have intentions to remove your DD and yourself from this situation.

I think genuine support and advice would be more useful to you than yes he is a fucknugget replies and I don't want you to feel you can't seek advice in the future, or risk people feeling it's not worth giving you advice if you see any aspects of this sad situation as "light hearted".

I tend to think you are still totally minimising the situation your DD is in and I do sincerely hope you accept it and take action rather than have action forced upon you by social services or similar. This man will ruin your DD's life if you don't accept it and act, he is already damaging her.

redstripelassie I get what pinkissimo means but don't forget you owe us/mumsnet nothing. We all post here knowing that we are risking giving our emotional investment to anonymous names on the Internet who may or may not be real or who may or may not take our advice. Sure it can be frustrating but that's our problem, not yours. Don't be put off from posting for help because you're worried it doesn't fit MN criteria or whatever.

I hope this thread has still been helpful because I have a sneaking suspicion there was some part of you that hoped a load of people would come on with similar stories to help you normalise your own situation. But your situation really is that bad and your little girl will thank you one day for getting that waste of space out of your lives.

From reading your other threads: LTB. Advice for this situation: pay half £1.40 and tell him to take equal responsibility for his DD. I hope it works out for you and your DD.

You have the rl support and people on here to help and advise you.
it must be such a relief to know that now finally you can do the best for your dd. It can't be good knowing how she is neglected in such a way, hopefully you'll make a clean break away from him before somebody reports to ss.
You must have been really scared to think that ss would blame you for not keeping her safe, and away from the drugs.
Good luck.

Thanks everyone. It is very good to start feeling a bit more powerful and able to make changes for her and me for the better.

And your right tempus I was hoping one or two people might post saying they had a tightfisted partner too.

Red, I do totally understand that, my x wasn't a stoner but he was financially and emotionally abusive and a blamer.

My dp always leaves me the receipt as need the proof of posting. Wouldn't ask for cash though.
If you think he's after the cash I'd certainly leave it in pennies.

I think the first time I posted about my abusive x, I half wanted posters to say that leaving an abusive man would merely replace one set of problems for another different set of obstacles. I was paralysed and doubting myself and desperately trying to re-frame the picture that was right in front of me.Once i did finally make the decision though, I felt such relief.

I like Sitting's idea of reimbursing him £1.40 and making the point that he bears equal responsibility for DD. Play him at his own petty minded game Red!

He's not tightfisted. My DH is tight - he can squeeze a few pence out of anything. Your DH is selfish and immature. He is happy to overspend on drugs and alcohol and for that money to be taken from the budget for his child. Not tightfisted.

i like the 1.40 idea makes a good point

i hope youre well op and will be making that break soon

This is not the case for you, but my hubby would sometimes do this. Simply because he is an accountant and every penny in each of our bank and savings accounts are accounted for. In a spreadsheet no less. We have multiple budgets, food, cars, house repairs, travel to family, Christmas, etc. And a spread sheet that shows where everything is, how much goes into each budget per month and how much should be in each account. So if he pays for something for a budget that is managed in my account he'll ask for the money so that it is coming out of the right place.
This is not the case for you. You need to be running as fast as you can.

Wow 😳 I couldn't imagine my hd asking for this £50 for shopping maybe

Yeah give it to I'm in 1p love to see his reaction. Maybe it would show him how unreasonable he was

I think that's a SPLENDID suggestion - go for it

Sorry but given your previous posts about your (D?) H this is not a light hearted post. I personal would tell him to fuck off but hey I don't live your life

It's really not funny or light hearted and quite sad you think it is OP.

As others have said I hope your plans to get this toxic man out of DDs life are getting sorted pronto.

I think you should repay him £2.72 in pennies see if he asks for the missing pence...

DamePlata. Am very familiar with that song; reminds of my ex.

All that smoking can't be good for your daughter's lungs or your lungs.

I would ask for the postage fee if anyone asked me to post their eBay package because you bill the buyer for it so they are paying. I would see it as being business minded as opposed to tight. Plus 2.80 is quite a lot of money when you are watching every penny. Without the background I would have thought this was fine/normal. Hope you sort things out though if you are unhappy OP

You'd ask your partner for £2.80?

Are u sure h3 never left thr receipt so u could use it as proof of postage? I keep mine for that incase I have to claim from royal mail

seriously?! £2.80?! I wouldn't even ask a friend for a repayment under £30/40...